@Sharrryn sorry to read how you are feeling.
As the other responses have said, diabetes is not an exact science and gets us all down at some time.
We are all different and use different techniques to minimise anxiety and try not to feel so overwhelmed. What works for one of us may make things worse for other.
However, here are some things I try
- get someone else to help with carb counting and dose calculation. Unfortunately, diabetes is something we manage ourselves and, as you say, only we know. However, if you have a close family member you can talk through what you do, they may be able to take some of the effort of working out how much insulin to take.
- expand the range of "ok readings" for a while. If you usually aim for between 4.0 and 7.0, try to aim for something between 4.0 and 10.0. And reward yourself when you achieve it ... or achieve it 50% of the time in a week ... or something like that.
- relax. Yeah, I know this is much easier said than done. When I want to escape from the world, I run a bath and spend an hour reading my book with my favourite music playing. I have even taken a glass of wine with me into the bathroom. Everyone in the house knows not to disturb me.
Just remember, you are not alone.
You are different - we are all different with different challenges, illnesses, anxieties - but you are not alone.