Physically and mentally drained!

[Kellyx]

I'm only 19 and had type 1 diabetes since I was 6, I know I'm still young and hopefully have many many years of my life left but I can't help but let diabetes control everything I do! I feel **** if I don't look after my diabetes and I feel **** even when I do! I know I could have worse problems and I probably sound childish but I can't help but feel like I'm being smothered from this illness !

 

[hollyslot]

I'm only 19 and had type 1 diabetes since I was 6, I know I'm still young and hopefully have many many years of my life left but I can't help but let diabetes control everything I do! I feel **** if I don't look after my diabetes and I feel **** even when I do! I know I could have worse problems and I probably sound childish but I can't help but feel like I'm being smothered from this illness !

i just want you to know you're not alone with this feeling and it's not childish! i'm 19 too (almost 20) and have had t1d since i was 4 x

 

[Kellyx]

i just want you to know you're not alone with this feeling and it's not childish! i'm 19 too (almost 20) and have had t1d since i was 4 x

I feel like I'm already worrying about the future not only for myself but other people in my family I don't want to get sick and worry people or get people down I don't want to feel like they have to waste their time on me I worry that I won't be able to have kids (dramatic I know) but all sorts of things run through my mind ! X

 

[Juicyj]

Hey Kelly, i've said this many times before about type 1, it stops allowing us to live in the present if we let it, we think about the future too much with this condition, once that happens we start to lose the enjoyment in life as we are always thinking about 'what if'. I learn't through meditation to start being present so to think about the task in hand and each day as it happens. We can influence the future through our actions now, but if you do start to live in the 'present' then you will start to enjoy life again and lessen the burden of this condition. Try and find a group you can meditate with, it gave me an enormous sense of freedom to stop worrying about the future when I let it, and more importantly stay positive and be more gentle on yourself

 

[tim2000s]

Hi @Kellyx, I was diagnosed at 13. I'm 40 now. I've never really worried about diabetes like many do because, hey, we're all human and that means we're all mortal. To put it in context, your diabetes is something that you have power over. The driver who kills you on the road by accident is someone you don't.

@Juicyj's point about mindfulness is a very good one. You are you, and diabetes is only ever a part of you. Be the rest of who you are and bring the diabetes along for the ride.

 

[Tylers73]

God you guys had type one for so long I've only had it for a year and a half. I'm 42 and not coping

 

[Kellyx]

Thank you everyone! I really do need to start living in the present and be thankful for the life I have now, just sometimes I feel diabetes slowly creeps over like a blanket and only after it does do I realise I'm being smothered by thinking about what if and the future! Your words all mean a lot so thank you!! And @Tylers73 maybe you're struggling more because you've have a life of not having diabetes and it feels like a bigger shock, having diabetes at such a young age I suppose I don't know much different in life! But I really hope you learn to cope with it! If you need any help I'm here thanks everyone! Xx

 

[yingtong]

Hi Kellyx I've been type1 for nearly 54 year I was 14 when I diagnosed and many years ago a nurse said to me that I must rule the diabetes and not let it rule me,I've keep to that belief for many years and I'm doing pretty well.Look after your diabetes and enjoy your life,in my younger days I certainly did.

 

[Cassandra13]

I get that way too... there are so many times when I feel like diabetes is stopping me from doing what I want to do and I am so resentful about it. I even had my Dr. tell me what I should find a new career path that is more suitable to a diabetic lifestyle... I was so angry. What has helped me is that I go day by day and reading by reading... I don't get myself down if I have a bad day of control (I used to beat myself up about it and hide it because I felt like I was the only one struggling and the worst diabetic ever). But its all about averages, don't focus on the one bad reading or the one bad day or the one bad week. There are going to be ups and down and when I am going through a rough patch, I think of it as not diabetes is ruining everything, but that it is time for me to slow everything down and focus on myself. Its my cue that I need some self care and that diabetes hasnt really stopped me from doing anything, and that I am actually doing too much. I use that as time to center myself again.