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Please help me to help my friend

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Ben Sale

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Hello everyone,

I am in an emergency and have almost exhausted all possible avenues.

My friend, Ryan (not his real name but for the purposes of this post he sahll be "Ryan"), is type 1 diabetic and he is 21 years old. He lives alone in a flat and is unemployed.
For a week now, Ryan has had no money whatsoever and has been, subsequently, unable to buy food and take his insulin. He's asked about his DLA which he was supposed to get today but, ooutrageously, it's been delayed until Tuesday. His health is now becoming dangerously shakey and he has been forced to resign himself to the inevitability that he will have to wait to drop down and be rushed to hospital before he gets any help.
He has applied for a crisis loan but been denied and has also applied for food banks but again, outrageously, been refused. He has spoken to his diabetic nurse but she is about as much use as a mute entrant to the xfactor!

Please, can any of you recommend any possible avenues we could go down to get him some money and food? any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

I have had a lot of experience with diabetics but have never seen someone left so alone by the system without any help and frankly i am disgusted. My brother, my best friend and Ryan are all diabetic but none of us can think of any ways to help.

Thankyou
 
Hello so sorry to hear of your friends predicament. As he is your friend and probably other friends, could you all possibly help out with a little money or food. also Invite him round for a meal, Or go to him and cook something cheap and cheerful.
It's a worrying situation and his health and safety must come first. The last thing he and any of you want is for him to become so ill, he is rushed to hospital.

Try the CAB, Citizens advice bureau, they are good with help and advice. A young person's charity, The YMCA or a local one in your area, try googling a few things. Good luck and please let us know how you get on, best wishes.
 
The problem with that is that his friends (including myself) are equally as insufficient where money is concerened and he refuses to come to anyone's house for a meal because he struggles socially (especially with parents). up until we have been buying his food but our pool of money has run dry- hence why we've all reached this point together. a point i dont think he should ever have to come close to.

It looks like, unfortunately, he is going to have to go to the hospital but is refusing to do so until he passes out (in his words).

CAB and YMCA is a good suggestion, thankyou, ill give those a try. thankyou for your help!
 
Hi Be
I don't know whether this is still the case, but the Salvation Army used to be able to help in cases such as Ryan's. It's worth asking, no matter what your feelings about SA or any other group, come to that.

How about assistance from family members ?


Desperate circumstances mean desperate measures, no matter what source it is offered from it's certainly worth a try.

Signy
 
Possibly an avenue, ill send them an email and have a read through the SA website. Thankyou.
He's tried his family but has already taken a lot of money from his cousin and aunt and his parents are unable to help, unfortunately.

Thankyou so much
 
Heathenlass said:
Hi Be
I don't know whether this is still the case, but the Salvation Army used to be able to help in cases such as Ryan's. It's worth asking, no matter what your feelings about SA or any other group, come to that.

How about assistance from family members ?


Desperate circumstances mean desperate measures, no matter what source it is offered from it's certainly worth a try.

Signy
Click to expand...

Good suggestion asking family members. If my grown up son or daughter came to me ( about a friend of theirs in dire straits I wouldn't think twice about it and would give them food out of my fridge and cupboards to help a little.
 
Ofcourse, that would be my instant reaction were i at home but unfortunately im at work hence why im trying to find possible avenues for him to go down today and get help. i think he may have gone to hospital now as thats the last thing he messaged me before going offline. im slightly worried but hoping he has actually gone before things have gotten too serious
 
Robinredbreast said:
Good suggestion asking family members. If my grown up son or daughter came to me ( about a friend of theirs in dire straits I wouldn't think twice about it and would give them food out of my fridge and cupboards to help a little.
Click to expand...

Agreed. I couldn't let anyone starve .
It's tragic that anyone does :(

Signy
 
Seconded. It is tragic and im feeling slightly useless sat here nearly an hours train journey away from him only able to contact him when he comes online. This is why im trying to find some way to help. thankyou all for your suggestions
 
Ben Sale said:
Ofcourse, that would be my instant reaction were i at home but unfortunately im at work hence why im trying to find possible avenues for him to go down today and get help. i think he may have gone to hospital now as thats the last thing he messaged me before going offline. im slightly worried but hoping he has actually gone before things have gotten too serious
Click to expand...


Hi you could try this website Turn2us.org.com. could be helpful. Good luck
 
there are a lot of things going on in this lads life, no food is a symptom and not the cause. He does need to be assessed and I'm not sure who to refer to
 
Is there any reason he's being denied so many sources of food and funding? If not, he needs to go to the citizens advice bureau and find out the best way to sort out this issue. They'll be able to recommend local places that will be able to help him out quickly.
 
Well i suppose they have their reasons but i can't see them being justified over risking his life, frankly. Yes, he's previously been to prison and has a terrible credit rating but i can't understand why he'd be denied food bank- even just until tuesday when he gets his DLA. I will contact the CAB asap its just a case of them being open (which they barely ever are!)
 
Ben Sale said:
Well i suppose they have their reasons but i can't see them being justified over risking his life, frankly. Yes, he's previously been to prison and has a terrible credit rating but i can't understand why he'd be denied food bank- even just until tuesday when he gets his DLA. I will contact the CAB asap its just a case of them being open (which they barely ever are!)
Click to expand...

Hi again,does he have an ongoing Parole officer?, also, you could contact Adult Social services,( before it gets too late ,or first thing tomorrow morning) Ryan sounds as though he may be in need of more specialist help, counselling? or mental health support and guidance, as he seems to me to be quite fragile.
And 'Ryan' is very lucky to have a good friend like you, looking out for him. Well done Ben.:)
 
What are his blood sugars like? Presumably he has a meter? If they are high or low he should go to either A&E or a walk-in centre. If he is really ill, dial 999.
 
It's worth approaching his usual pharmacist for an emergency supply of test strips pending the arrival of a prescription. Even another pharmacy should be amenable to phoning his GP to confirm his need .

I agree with what Jack and others have said, there seems to be multiple problems here that need to be tackled by specialist services . I'm a little confused as to why his DLA is late arriving, as normally (as normal as the benefits system ever is !) it is automatically paid into a person's bank account every four weeks. DLA is awarded to enable people to meet the additional costs that being disabled brings, not as a means to live on. Does he get any other benefits ?

Signy
 
You know, i never thought of his parole officer! duh! ill ask if hes contacted them, even if they arent his parole officer anymore they still might be able to help (im pretty sure hes off parole now).

I don't think specialist help is needed at all, he's as stable as any other human. He simply has had a bad lot which doesnt seem to be improving. i think some professional finiancial advice would be a good step for him though.
 
i assume his DLA is provided alongside his job seeker's allowance meaning its controlled by the Job centre who have an incredible habit of F-ing people over!
 
Ben Sale said:
You know, i never thought of his parole officer! duh! ill ask if hes contacted them, even if they arent his parole officer anymore they still might be able to help (im pretty sure hes off parole now).

I don't think specialist help is needed at all, he's as stable as any other human. He simply has had a bad lot which doesnt seem to be improving. i think some professional finiancial advice would be a good step for him though.
Click to expand...

By specialist services, I mean services specific to his circumstances, such as parole officers, benefits agency etc.. There was no implication that he is not stable in any way. . Interesting that you thought that....

Signy
 
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