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Poor impulse control regardless of terrifying consequences

BB8.HG

Well-Known Member
Messages
101
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
I was diagnosed around a year ago. For about half of that I’ve been a pretty model low-carb paragon of virtue. Not so much anymore.

I’ve always had poor impulse control (whether it’s food, spending etc). And I’m finding it almost impossible to get back on the wagon.

While I was good, diabetes control was basically my whole life, I was obsessed! Then life ramped up and a wedding, honeymoon, planning for a family etc happened. I can’t spend every spare hour on the diabetes forum (which seemed to be what kept me on the straight and narrow to some degree).

I'm not incapable, I've lost 100lbs (with 100 more to go), I'm on an excellent career trajectory, while my spending is bad I still pay all my bills and contribute to my household. Why can't I quit the carbs?

I read so many people who describe their lives, they're ordered and disciplined and i'm so envious. I pull it off for 4 days at a time and then I crack.

I’ve done courses of CBT in the past, but despite honest efforts it doesn’t seem to do a huge amount for me. A lot of my problem stems from intrusive thoughts (for which the coping mechanisms and thought-restructuring laid out by CBT doesn’t touch) – it could be a form of OCD, but I’ve not addressed this as finding support is difficult in my area (i'm still in the process of getting the help I need, so it'll happen eventually)

Me and my husband have been married for 6 months and want to try for a baby soon (I'm 32)
I need to get my weight and blood sugar properly under control. I have a post-it on my debit card which says ‘Think of the baby’ – It’s been 3 days and I’ve still got it out and paid for carbs with it 3 times...

I was wondering if anyone else has sought professional support for mental health specifically in relation to their diet or diabetes? It’s less about depression and negativity around having diabetes, it’s more about impulse control.

I was wondering if anyone could share their experiences, or even just coping mechanisms that they’ve found useful.

I’m a bit lost and sad. We just want a baby and I want to be healthy for it. Why can’t I do this for one of the most important things in my life?

I'd love some help.
 
There could be a thousand reasons for this... Maybe subconsiously you're punishing yourself, (no idea why you would, but it's an option) or feel you're not ready after a whole lot of stuff going on in your life? Maybe it's denial or anger about the whole diabetes thing? Or quite simply a carb addiction? I'm a borderliner, and sometimes I'd get cravings that lasted for days until I'd give in and pig out. (Sushi... That was a bad one!). A craving could become an obsessive thought, haunting me. I've found that once I ditched the carbs, those cravings went away too. So maybe it is just a matter of getting back on the horse for a week or two, (more than the 4 days you mentioned), for it to get better? (I'm just throwing stuff out there, I know I'm probably useless) Whenever I feel bad or stressed, I still walk straight to the fridge... For me, it helps if there's only low carb stuff in there. (People scare me, so I don't usually leave the house outside the weekends; so I'm not likely to buy myself something carby on a whim). If I can just fill up on low carb or no carb items, or guzzle tea, I'm okay. That might be an idea? Stock up on pork scratchings, olives, cheeses, cold cuts, nice tea's...? As a post-it isn't doing much for you, maybe put some random person's ultrasound where it is now, with "This could be me soon! Yay for the future!" You know, make it something positive rather than a stern admonition? We tend to rebel, after all... And just want that chocolate bar more after that. Changing a mindset isn't easy, but I do hope you'll get everything you want in life, and soon. Will keep my fingers crossed.
Jo
 
For me its about taking the responsibility upon myself to manage the condition. I've had type 1 diabetes for most of my life from the age of 8. Throughout my teenage years I just wanted to get on with life and my control had never been great. Now becoming mature and learning more and more everyday about nutrition, health and diabetes, I've made quite a lot of radical changes. You have to think about what's most important to you, yes you want to try for a baby, however do you not want to improve your health first and foremost so you can live a healthier and happier life?

I focus on my diabetes for myself, think of where I was and where I am now, but not stopping there always trying to learn. The main thing you can do is learn, as they say knowledge is power, maybe you don't completely understand how the lifestyle choices you make are affecting your body in the short/long term. Neither did I until recently, I didn't only change my lifestyle because I'm diabetic, I did it because its a much healthier style of living in general. I feel so much better, think of what you want to achieve and how uncontrolled diabetes will hinder that progress.

Knowing what I know now, I can easily walk past most isle's in the supermarket without even being slightly tempted. The supermarkets and manufacturers market their products to catch your attention, that's the whole point, it needs to be a lifestyle change not a temporary change, maybe you are not achieving it because the radical diet changes you have undertaken are too much? Maybe a different diet is more suitable for you?
 


Thank you so much for your reply. I think that’s something that causes me a lot of anger and frustration at myself. Because I do know on an intellectual level that my lifestyle when I’m low-carb is healthier, that I feel better, and that I’m limiting my risk of complications. I’ve seen it first-hand. My struggle is that despite this knowledge, my impulse to act in damaging ways persists. I almost wish I could blame it on being ignorant or oblivious of the consequences. But they’re in my mind all the time.
 

Maybe for you, at this moment in time, a LCHF diet is not appropriate especially at 1200 calories. I understand you want to lose weight but its a marathon not a sprint. It probably would be better for you to incorporate a small amount of carbs into your weekly diet (low GI foods) and then plan on cutting them down further over time.

As I always say, a good diet for you is only one which you can stick to consistently.
 

Thank you. I know you’re right, I managed to stay on the wagon for months and months. Maybe I need to allow myself to obsess for a few weeks in order to get to the point where cravings are more manageable.

I’m totally taking your ultrasound idea! I’m very emotionally driven, maybe that’ll work.

I’m lucky in that my husband is supremely supportive of low-carb, and he makes sure there’s never really carbs in the house. I’m actually very good in front of other people. One of my issues seems to be ‘secret eating’. In the car or on the way to work.
 

You could well be right. Perhaps a slow re-introduction to low-carb could be helpful
 
You say diagnosis was just over a year ago. Thats actually not very long. It takes many people longer than that to come to terms with having diabetes and adjust lifestyle to suit. Its likely you have not yet found the balance between calories and carb units that is right for you.
Maybe you need more than 1200 calories a day? Perhaps just slightly more will continue the weight loss but be easier to stick to?You dont say how many carb units you are aiming for? Could you share this?
Meanwhile WELL DONE for losing a significant amount of weight. ( Looked for a cheering/applause emoticon but none available)
Forgive yourself for the lapses in control and carry on.
As one of the members says " Its a marathon, not a sprint"
Best wishes for a healthier 2019
 
It’s human nature to seek pleasure. Pleasure drives the continuation of the species. Ultimately everything we do is about seeking happiness. It’s not surprising that this sometimes backfires and we crumble in the face of temptation. I’m often fascinated by the paradox - the pursuit of pleasure necessary for the survival of the species is the same thing that can bring about self destructive behaviour and our demise.

Oh well. God made bacon and cheese for a reason. Cheer up, pick up, start again
 

I have also lost control almost also lost 35 kg initially
I Think the way to go is to fill ones House with the treats that are allowed like 85% Dark chokolate berries , as a substitute use the artificial sugar kinds in moderate amounts .
But that Said a US trial on healthy soldiers on 4 month of 1000 calories resulted in the same almost all of them rapidly gaining it all back and even becomming more obese than before . One could try to trick ones body and brain by only doing the 5:2 diet where one only do low calories twice a week two days of 500-700 calories and normal amounts of food the other days
 
I think you need to break through the carb addiction again
It took me around 4 weeks. During that time I fell off the wagon several times. I stopped beating myself up and just got back on the wagon.

I don't count calories, I count carbs. I was rigourous in testing, especially if I was naughty to see the impact of that naughtiness!

We all have to find our own way. You have done magnificently to have lost 100lbs

Good luck and stick around
 
Have you thought about leaving your cards at home? If you only carry the exact amount of money you need for essentials (fares, etc) then you can't overspend.

Same with carbs - I found it best to do a once a week home delivery food shop which is as carb free as I can make it. I do a menu plan for the week (including low carb treats) and then get the order done just after a meal so I don't get tempted to order 'extras'. If you haven't got them in the house and haven't got card/cash to buy them you can't eat them.
 


That’s a good tip. I’ve been a bit too scared to leave my card at home, I have quite a long commute so get concerned about emergencies if I don’t have my card accessible. Although I suppose in this day and age it’s unlikely that I’ll be in a scenario that requires instant use of my debit card…Maybe I should bite the bullet and give it a go. Or keep some emergency (actual emergency, not carb addiction emergency...) cash hidden in the car.

Home is quite easy, I’m fortunate that my husband is very supportive and we basically never have anything tempting in the house. Funnily enough, even when we do, I don’t really touch it. For some reason letting my husband down feels worse than letting myself down!
 
@BB8.HG you say you read on the forum thay most peoples lives are “ordered and disciplined” but that doesnt tell the whole story. I have been doing this for just over a year and continue to find it challenging and it requires thought. You have many positives going on, a new husband who loves and supports you and understands how you must eat for a healthy future. You recognise your problem eating bad snacks and you know you should stop that habit in its tracks. Dont allow them in your car (or bag). If you have a long fast between meals keep one packet of nuts AT A TIME or a small chunk of cheese or anything low carb you fancy there. At this time of year all our cars are like fridges, lol. I am no saint but I have to plan accordingly if I am out and about. You posted because you care so believe in yourself and what you can achieve. Best wishes.
 
You might find visualization could help.
Imagine yourself being tempted, taking out the credit card, reading the message, then putting it away and walking away from the situation.
Repeat the thought process for all the different situations where you might be or have been tempted, always see yourself winning the tussle. at the end of your mind exercises think of telling your husband that you are pregnant, just as a final reinforcement of your motives.
One day you will do exactly as you have visualized.
 
When you see low carb foods in recipe's wouldn't it be nice for the supermarkets to sell some of them? I mean healthy and the recipes done as they should be, no messing around with them. I think that if this were the case, people who do have a hard time with the low carbing could just pick out a nice Keto muffin from the supermarket shelf. Not everybody wants to be constantly in the kitchen everytime that they want a snack. For me, I don't care too much as I have not got a sweet tooth, but it would be nice if I could pick up a packet of fathead sausage rolls from the supermarket. I have noticed that now it's a New Year, shops have new products in. I think that you can all guess what type of food..Yep VEGAN, everywhere I look its Vegan foods. The product that did tickle me was the Pizza and them advertising it as Vegan, what they have done is just remove the cheese lol..I went around the Supermarket thinking " What about us do we not count?
 
BB8.HG said:
.... One of my issues seems to be ‘secret eating’. In the car or on the way to work.
Click to expand...

I can totally relate with this. I've got a very sweet tooth and love lots of high-carb foods. Walking past the bakery isle in the supermarkets is really hard for me. I particularly love Almond or Chocolate croisants when I see them. So difficult to resist. When out having a meal, I keep hoping no one else will have a dessert coz that makes it easier to go without one. On the occasions I do have a dessert, it's often Profiteroles or something suitably chosen unwisely from carb point of view

The only thing that helps to keep me on track is the Libre! I admit it's not infallible but when I'm tempted, I think of the effect on the graph, which is often enough to persuade me not to give in. If I've had a 'bad' day and the graph is showing higher than I like, then it helps me resist. If it's showing a lovely low, steady graph, I don't like to then mess it up

It's not a cheap option, unfortunately, but the Libre works for me. On the occasions I don't have it, it's as if no one will know I've been stuffing myself with carbs. LOL Also, after eating a chocolate croissant, for example, I really wonder if the enjoyment from eating was worth it ... usually, the answer is 'NO' !!!

Wishing you the best of luch with this
 
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