Pregnancy and Type 1 in men

[MrsLofty]

Hello all, I have a few questions and really need some advice. My husband and I have been together for a number of years and he has always had pretty good control of his Type 1 diabetes. He is 36 years old and was diagnosed at 13 years old. We are at the stage in our lives where we are ready to have children. Here's a little history...he has 4 siblings but only two of them were diagnosed with diabetes. His sister who is now 38 found out when she was 17. She too has type 1. She has since had 3 children and all three are healthy and diabetic free so far. Neither of his parents are diabetics.

We have been together for about 5 years and I've never experienced him having a high blood sugar. He has had low blood sugar a few times but it normally occurs in the night after he had a very physically active day. For example we worked out, or a super stressful day.

In the years that we have been together we have never really had sex "per say". Let's just say he claims he never knew he had an ED problem and it just started when we met...I love him but I know him wel and I know that's pride causing him to tweek the truth a little bit. We have tried on several occasions but it's never successful. So we both get frustrated and give up.

We have been to see several doctors. The last one was the most helpful. We tried Viagra, we tried cialis (spell check) but neither worked. Well let's say he got a slight erection from using them but wasn't enough for actual sex. Then the doctor told us about a shot which by the way is extremely expensive. So we tried that but the erection lasted for over 12 hours which then became extremely painful for him. The doctor lowered the dosage but even still the erection lasted over 8 hours and was a bit painful. Both Times we tried it it was ok in the beginning but he never ejaculated. Since we have been together I've only ever seen him ejaculate once and that was 4 years ago.

We really want to have kids and believe me when I say I pull out all of my tricks. I try to be sexy, I do foreplay, I mean everything a wife can possibly try I do it and then some. NOTHING WORKS. So it's a bit stressful so we will go months without even making an attempt. Matter of fact our last attempt was in January. I tell myself if I can just get him to cum we will be fine but the truth is I don't know if we will be.

I have read all sorts of articles and blogs and spoken to people and I get all sorts of crazy advice.

1. My concerns are since he is a the 1 diabetic what is the likelihood he will pass it on to his kids? I was told men with it pass it on to their children more than women do.

2. Are there ways to get him to ejaculate or medications he can try that we are unaware of?

3. What fertility options are out there to aide diabetic men? And should we even risks trying to get pregnant and possibly passing it on to our kids? Is that selfish to do?

4. What are your experiences in that department?

Sent from my SM-G930T using Diabetes.co.uk Forum mobile app

 

[azure]

Bumping this for you @MrsLofty

If you don't get any replies, I can amend the title for you to mention your husband's additional issues, or re-word if you prefer

I can answer some of your questions - yes, a father with Type 1 does have more of a risk of having a child who gets Type 1 compared to if a mother has Type 1,

I personally dnt think it's selfish for men with Type 1 to have children, but that's a decision each person/couple must make for themselves. I'm female and have Type 1 and 3 children, none of which have diabetes. However, one of them does have another medical condition - not in the family and random - so nothing can be planned 100% in life.

It sounds like your husband has got professional advice. Apart from the diabetes, was any other physical problem found that might be affecting him? Do you think some of the problem might be a 'fear of failure', so to speak?

 

[catapillar]

A man with type one diabetes has a 1 in 17 chance of having children who develop type 1 diabetes - http://www.diabetes.org/diabetes-basics/genetics-of-diabetes.html

The average person has a 1 in 100 risk of developing type 1 diabetes - so it doesn't really increase the average risk that exists anyway by very much in reality - http://www.joslin.org/info/genetics_and_diabetes.html

A man who can't ejaculate has zero chance of having children. Unless you have fertility treatment and IVF with ICSI. This would require surgical retrieval of the sperm and a normal IVF cycle. But because the sperm haven't been ejaculated they won't just be put in the Petri dish and left to find the egg like a normal IVF cycle, they won't have a sense of direction to find the egg and won't be pointy enough to peirce the egg and fertilise it, the sperm will be injected into the egg for fertilisation.

 

[therower]

Hi @MrsLofty . What a terrible situation to find yourself in. First off I can only offer observations and have no experience in dealing with the problems you and your husband are having.
From reading your post I can't help but feel that everyone is treating your husbands ED as a physical problem.
Have you or anyone else attempted to find out how your husband lived his life prior to you meeting him? Was ED a problem prior to meeting you, was it a problem in his youth and has he been in other sexual relationships?
It may be more of an emotional/ mental issue than a physical problem. This could be abuse, guilt, denial or confusion. As I say I'm no expert and feel a bit out of my depth but genuinely feel this isn't as physical as it seems.
Hope you can find some answers
@azure and @catapillar have given great advice and guidance.

 

[Shazzle80]

Hi there.

I'm a female with type one diabetes and I asked my team the liklihood of my children developing it, I was told it was a slightly increased risk but still only a 3% chance higher than anyone else's child.

I'm sorry to hear of your struggle, I would agree with therower above and wonder whether it's more a psychological thing rather than a physical. If that's the case it's all very well treating the physical but it's not addressing the root cause then. Could he look at some emotional support?? I'm guessing that like all males who suffer ED the longer it goes unaddressed the more likely it'll continue to happen as he'll be panicking it's going to happen (if that makes sense).

Naturally to conceive you are going to need him to ejaculate and as mentioned above ICSI would seem like the natural IVF option. My friend recently donated an egg so that our mutual friend could be bumped up the egg donation list, I wonder whether you could use a sperm doner with similar characteristics to your husband? Other than that I guess it's whether you consider adoption?

I hope you figure a solution. I wish you well. x