Really need some help advice t1/t2

[Carterbpool]

I'm sorry to have to rant but I really don't have anyone to talk too and I'm hating myself right now....

I am old male, I was diagnosed with diabetes over new year my hbca1 was 108 and I was pretty ill I had lost two stone in a matter of weeks when I was in hospital the consultant said due to how ill I was I was type 1. I was shocked but relieved it wasn't type2. I'm overweight and hate myself enough for that some days I won't leave the house.

I was given novo mix 30 and sent on my way. The Dsn confirmed a few weeks later that although the gad tests were showing I could be t2 how Ill I was they were going to treat me as t1.
I was so relieved that I was t1...there was so much negative stigma about being t2 and cause it was t1 I didn't receive any lectures on how I brought it on myself!!!

When I went to my gp my blood pressure and cholesterol was quite high so they referred me back to the hospital where I seen a general medicine consultant who said I was showing signs of insulin resistance I had put the 2 stone I lost back on! Now by this point about a month ago my bs were around 5 I started to feel fine apart from the weight gain.

This consultant looked at my results said I was type 2 put me on metamorphin and halved my insulin since then my bs has gone back into the 9's...I feel sick and worried that my bs have gone back up since lowering my insulin doses.

But overall I'm disgusted in myself that I am type 2 and struggling to accept it so much so I've stopped taking all medication over a week ago and now I'm starting to feel really ill and part of me wants to see if I really am type 1.

I've read as much as I can to see if being type two with no medication would make me feel so ill. Since stopping the medication my bs are back in the late teens to 20s now and each day rising...and I feel ****...

I just feel that awful about myself the stigma of being t2 and the fact the fat u hate so much has made me like this

I've tried talking to the diabetic nurse about how since going on metmorphin my bs has gone up but she isn't interested!!!

I'm at the point where mentally I don't want to take anything

Sorry I've ranted I just feel alone and no one to talk too

If I become ill will it determine if I'm t1 or t2 once and for all? I just feel so pressured and embarrassed after all I told my family that I was t1 too....

 

[TorqPenderloin]

So first thing is first....take a big breath.

Second thing, take a step back and realize the venue where you posted this. This forum has nearly 200,000 members many of which have type 2 diabetes. There are big/small, tall/short, old/young people with type 2 diabetes, but not a single one is disgusting, and you're certainly no exception.

It sounds like you were doing really well and making a lot of progress. Why throw all of that away because of a meaningless number? This is literally about the number 1 versus the number 2. Physiologically, nothing has changed, yet you're upsetting yourself over something meaningless.

You are right, there is a negative stigma towards type 2 diabetes, but as @mahola mentioned, many of the misconceptions about type 2 diabetes are because people are ill-informed or lack education. Try not to allow yourself to be a part of that ignorance, or allow yourself to fall victim to it.

Rant away and share everything that you feel comfortable sharing if it helps. That's what this forum is for, but try to get back into your routine that you had success with before.

 

[Lynz84]

Carterbpool, you have no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed and it certainly isnt worth making yourself ill over. It doesnt matter if youre type 1 or 2. You have a condition that needs urgent care right now. Could you possibly check your levels now and start taking your meds to bring them down? When our bodies feel ****...our minds do too and your mental state is feeding off how bad your body is feeling. Mahola is right about the ketones, please check these as id hate for you to get that ill!
There is stigma with type 2 but honestly why does it matter what strangers think of a disease they know nothing about. You know type 1s face stigma too.....how many times weve heard.....oh you must have ate loads of sugar as a child or when you want to eat something nice.."should you really eat that?" Infuriating! But not enough to make us stop taking care of ourselves. Please check your levels and start the meds again. I promise your mind will start to calm when your levels come down...but be patient and we're here for you x

 

[MasterDoctor]

So first thing is first....take a big breath.

Second thing, take a step back and realize the venue where you posted this. This forum has nearly 200,000 members many of which have type 2 diabetes. There are big/small, tall/short, old/young people with type 2 diabetes, but not a single one is disgusting, and you're certainly no exception.

It sounds like you were doing really well and making a lot of progress. Why throw all of that away because of a meaningless number? This is literally about the number 1 versus the number 2. Physiologically, nothing has changed, yet you're upsetting yourself over something meaningless.

You are right, there is a negative stigma towards type 2 diabetes, but as @mahola mentioned, many of the misconceptions about type 2 diabetes are because people are ill-informed or lack education. Try not to allow yourself to be a part of that ignorance, or allow yourself to fall victim to it.

Rant away and share everything that you feel comfortable sharing if it helps. That's what this forum is for, but try to get back into your routine that you had success with before.

I'm type 1 myself and I have nothing against t2 diabetics - I mean, even my uncle is diabetic and he's one of the nicest guys you'll meet... Point is, the negative attitude towards t2 is based off an incorrect idea in society as mentioned above.
You should absolutely take the treatment because it seems that you are making progress. Inside, I wanted to just throw all my insulin away out of frustration and try and get on with life normally... But I remembered how sick I'd been pre-insulin and decided to do it.

I probably rambled a lot in that but long paragraph, short - Take the treatment, know that you refer not disgusting and just get on with your life - you only live once so play the cards you've been given in the best way possible.

 

[tizzy]

Hi i felt ashamed as well but told myself type 1 type 2 anyone that cares about you will care whatever the number those that don't won't matter anyway I was casually told I'm 1.5 and everything has been exactly the same as when I was type 2 on insulin mdi it's what medication your on that is the best for you to give you the best chance of better health not a number look after yourself tizzy

 

[Daibell]

Hi and welcome. AS you are gaining eight can I ask what your diet is like? A low-carb diet should help with both blood sugar and weight. If despite weight reduction your blood sugar remains high then Late onset T1 (LADA) remains a possibility

 

[Flakey Bake]

I hear you and I understand exactly what you are saying. I was diagnosed about 4 years ago as type 2 with a BG of 29.8. I too was diagnosed as type 2 on the basis of my weight. I was overweight (despite lossing 0.5 stone a week just before being diagnosed). Because I was still in the honeymoon period with some pancreatic function and I really tried hard with my diet, my BG improved with the usual type 2 meds. This just confirmed the GPs opinion that I was type 2. I felt awful. I blamed myself, I was disgusted with myself and too ashamed to tell people I was type 2, a few who I did tell responded with comments like 'ah well you have been overweight' etc. I was very depressed. However the control slipped and I had about a year of BGs sitting in the high teens/20s despite trying so hard to control my BG and taking the max doses of metformin, stigagliptin and glipicide. The GPs blamed me, told me to try harder - grrrrr!!!!!. I saw a new GP and told him if I didn't get insulin I would be dead within the year. He referred me to the hospital where they did the tests and then all hell broke loose. I recieved a phone call telling me I had to come into the clinic immediately to start on insulin as I was type 1. It was very bad timing, I was hundreds of miles away and it was the morning of my Dad's funeral, but I felt so relieved. I was like I had just been handed a gift. I could respect myself again. My illness wasn't because I was fat, lazy, inactive - noy my fault anymore - Yippee. It was very wrong that I felt like that. Type 2 has risk factors associated with it and yes some of then are lifestyle. Most important is family history (your genes), then age, then race, then lifestyle. I think gender fits in there somewhere too. Try telling Sir Steve Redgrave that his type 2 is because he is fat and lazy!!!!! The constant demonisation of type 2 diabetes in the press is appalling and really impacts on people's emotional ability to cope with type 2. Dealing with the emotional rollercoaster that swinging BGs can cause is hard enough without hearing that it is your own fault and you should have to pay for your healthcare everytime you switch on the news or read a paper. The prevention message is going too far in the press and has tipped well over into the demonisation and bullying of a section of society. Type 2's are the new lepers and it is so so wrong.