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Really Struggling :(

D

dodge13

Member
Messages
19
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hello all,

I am approaching my fifth year anniversary of my diagnosis with T1D and I am really feeling so lost and worried! In those five years I guess I have gained full confidence with injecting and blood sugar testing - and all that this entails. But my diet and overall fear of health complications are dragging me into a pit of anxiety.

Before I was diagnosed I would put away a LOT of food - really **** food too, a typical evening at 19 years of age could consist of perhaps a pasty, entire pack of cake bars, 2litre bottle of coke, several packets of crisps - the list goes on, looking back on it, it's a little disgusting but hey - we're all young once.

Anyway I have struggled on and off with the food concept - the inability to eat what I want, when and how much. I have recently experienced a couple of 28mmol readings and understandable have freaked out a little, I have immediately dealt with them by injecting and checking my sugar is decreasing every 15 minutes or so - and it always does - right back down to a sensible 6, 7mmol etc.

My problem is that no matter how badly I want to, how much I crave it, I can not control my diet. In my head I would absolutely love to eat a pure protein diet and get in better shape, I set out for a big health kick this week and I lasted ... one day. My affinity with brands and bad food is so unbelievably strong that despite the threat to my health I just can't switch off the cravings.

It's leaving me terrified, my head is getting messed up and I keep telling myself that I'm going to die young and that leads me to panic about my wife and then the worries spiral out of control! I just want to control it

I did attend CBT at one point to try and help with my overall routine, and diet issues but when the treatment ended I realised that nothing had really been resolved. I don't really know where else to turn, I am constantly worrying about diabetes taking so much away from me that I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

~ Adam
 
Hi Adam

We have all been there. The diet you described is what i was living on and it was glorious! I am approaching 5 years too and had to go both gluten and lactose free last year. Its taken me a while to love food again but suffer proper bouts of craving. Its maddening.
First thing I would say is....relax. youre only human and you love food! You sound reasonably clued in and controlled so thats great.
Only advice id give is this. No fad diets. They dont work. Why not try removing one bad thing from your diet every two weeks. Doing it all at once is awful! Take your time with it, give yourself a break. X
 
Hi @dodge13

Sometimes we get to a tipping point where we just know we have to take some action to change things. Perhaps that is where you are at right now but don't be anxious about it or beat yourself up it is actually a positive thing. So how about getting a template together one meal at a time that is your fall back position and even if you stray occasionally you have a standard plan in place For example set up you breakfasts and morning with a few meal options that you like and are good and stick to that then move onto lunches and then onto dinners etc.

Being a type two I can't give you much guidance in the details of what that may look like but I'm sure others on here will help there

Congratulations on posting this as it is a positive step
 
Hello Dodge,

Sounds like you are getting yourself really worked up over this, try not to (as hard as it may be). My first suggestion is to get your nurse or consultant to get you an appointment with a dietician. You don't have to change your diet radically, protein only isn't a sustainable diet, but instead try and work out some meal plans. It sounds to me like you are 'addicted' to carbs which is pretty common, you can wean yourself off them. I don't know how interested you would be but doing some meditation to calm your mind too would help, so to help you stop worrying about the future/complications and just think about the present. The anxiety you are suffering isnt helped by thinking about the future. Do you exercise much ? This would help you feel less anxious too, so go for a run or bike ride, it will help you calm down. Keep talking too it's the best therapy..
 
Hi. I think you have to stand back and realise the diet you have been having and what we have all had is the result of many years of marketing. Our body doesn't need loads of carbs or snacks. The craving is partly what we grew up with and partly the brain reacting to the carb high. It sounds like your reaction is higher than others. You don't mention fat? Are you having fatty foods as well as protein? Who buys your food at the supermarket? My wife avoids most of the junk food aisles and reads all the labels when buying food for both of us. Biscuits etc never enter the house. BTW although I'd like to agree you should see a dietician, as many are totally clueless (low-fat mantra) be very careful if you do and if they say have low-fat then start running.
 
How are you feeling today Adam?
 
Lynz84 said:
How are you feeling today Adam?
Click to expand...

Hey all, apologies for the late response I have been away for Easter!

I am definitely still feeling terrible about it all, just last night I fell asleep unintentionally at about 12am until about 5am, when I woke up and checked my blood sugar I was 24.2mmol - it's doing my head in really.

I have found it hard with dieticians in the past as I think their advice tackles what you should eat but not necessarily anything to do with how to wean yourself off **** foods, I do know 100% what I am supposed to eat - I am fully aware of what a good diet would consist of, variation, low saturates, fruit and veg etc. but I don't get any kind of kick out of them which means I have absolutely no desire to buy them when it comes down to it - it's getting over that mental block of "I know it may not be what you want but you're going to have to" and I think that doesn't last long

I think a lot of the time as well I overeat because I worry that I am going to have a hypo (last night was an example of this, with my dinner I had probably enough for the insulin but I panicked a little and had a chocolate bar as well "just in case" and this was what likely led to my mega high).

It feels a bit like 4 - 8 mmol is SO difficult to maintain, my averages are more like 7 - 12 mmol and it really bugs me that I could well be causing myself really serious problems later in life, or even an early death, and yet I just can't seem to "shake myself" and tell myself to take control despite the obvious risks!
 
Well what would your diet consist of? I found my dietician very unhelpful so had to research everything myself!!
 
Sometimes something else can help breed a new change of thought. Exercise, for example, can not only help take your mid of certain foods whilst they are not in sight but equally can help motivate you to make other lifestyle changes. In otherwords, changing just your food and what you are eating can be particularly difficult when everything else around you is exactly the same. This then results in you being more aware of the food you are eating and the stress this puts on your decision-making.
 
Hi Dodge and all

First of all, thank you for your honesty. If we all just pretend it's easy, I think it just leads to an increase sense of isolation.

I have only been diagnosed with Type 1 for a month, aged 33 (wish I'd got checked out when the tiredness came on as this might have saved me from two weeks in hospital following a nice bolt of DKA) so I can't offer much advice on it from a diabetic perspective. But like so many, I of course have always struggled to be as healthy as I liked.

The tips I would offer are:

1. Aim for improvement, not perfection - If you eat 5 packets of crisps a day, try and get it down to three and then two etc. Dietitians and 'health freaks' can be a bit all or nothing and I think that's really unhelpful. Don't try and deny yourself anything in particular, just take baby steps
2. Focus on what you DO like that's good for you - Don't try and load your plate with loads of healthy choices you don't really like. For example, happily I love chicken and I've gone from buying lunch at work to making brown-break chicken sandwiches. Still ends up being 60g of carbs but my insulin seems to cover that.
3. Plan snacks - For me (sadly) the habit of snacking is something I can't get out my head; but that doesn't mean I can't make healthier choices IF I plan it. Rather than pretend I won't snack (and end up making a spontaneous bad choice) I get stuff that's a more sensible choice. Since my diagnosis my boyfriend has found 'Fridge Raiders' (small chicken pieces - you're probably already familiar with them) and they have been a God-send.

I've very new to my insulin routine, so forgive me if this is a rookie comment, but if you're readings are regularly too high, could you not inject more insulin?

Don't get too down cast. Managing eating is something that loads of people find hard. The fact that we're diabetics just makes is that much harder

Gareth
 
Lynz84 said:
Well what would your diet consist of? I found my dietician very unhelpful so had to research everything myself!!
Click to expand...

It's absolutely shocking, it's pastries, it's chocolate bars, cakes - literally the worst. The reason I think I still eat this way is deep set from my childhood where I would associate certain brands and foods as comforting. That has never really left me.
 

Hi Gareth!

I definitely think that aiming for improvement, not perfection is great advice. I tend to get myself down though if I don't progress at a certain rate, I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to always exceed expectations and perhaps this causes me to fall short a lot of the time.

I think your comments on eating what you want, not what you should is also great, maybe subjecting myself to plain chicken all the time is likely to give me a bad experience with "healthy eating" and perhaps put me off in future. I have asked my wife to help me this evening with pre-making and freezing like a months worth of proper food with the hope that I can ween myself off the bad stuff slowly.

I have definitely tried to substitute better snacks for example light cheeses, and generally less sugary options - which hasn't gone bad but I wonder if it's the sugar kick that I am hooked on! I do inject a lot already - 32 units usually per meal is viewed by some as a lot (although we're all different) and that covers sugary foods it's just those times when I think I have got it right - then I check it and I am like 27mmol then I feel terrible about it and just lose confidence in my abilities to manage it.

Hope that all makes sense!
 
@dodge13 you should have a read around the forum on the LCHF diet - it is far removed from the traditional definition of healthy eating but I found it gave me plenty of variety and stopped me getting hungry between meals as I reduced the carbs.
 

No problem at all. Had two more quick thoughts overnight:

- If I've done the Maths right, you're still a fairly young man. You do have time to get this right. I know the T1D adds a certain urgency but much better to play the long game, make subtle changes then constantly 'boom and bust.'

- Stick with the CBT if you can. I've done bits and pieces over the past 10 years (not diabetes related) and it's not a magic or quick fix. However I have noticed my thinking shifting and becoming healthier over a longer period. Actually, I found reading 'CBT for Dummies' more helpful than any of the professional support (although counselling was useful too).

Take care - Gareth
 
Just a thought, and I know I may get shouted at, do you cook? If so, you can possibly make lower carb cakes to help with the weaning process. Ewelina's blog gooddiabeticbaking has some and threads here do too. Obviously it's better if you can flip the mental "no" switch but otherwise you can work towards it.
 

Hey thanks man,

Your maths would be right - I am 24 now but I was 20 when diagnosed so it feels a bit like time is slipping by. I appreciate that to most people over 35 would probably laugh at that comment but with T1D it does feel like every decision has a big impact.

Will try to make gradual changes for sure!
 

Hey! Thanks, I will check it out
 
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