@KitsuneRin from someone of experience of the damage poor control can do, can I advise you take this as the wake up call to sort your control out. Afraid the past is just that, but you still have the present and future, and so now is the time to start taking it seriously. Whatever you haven't been doing so far, whether it is injections, blood tests, appointments etc, draw up a plan, and start. Don't try to fix everything in one big hit, the chances are it will overwhelm you, and lack of immediate results will demoralise you, but do start to plan. Something I was advised by my ophthalmologist was to lower BG's gradually, as a sudden drop could actually cause more problems. Set small achievable targets and you'll be amazed at the difference it can make