• Guest - w'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the 2025 Survey »

Relationships

Rather than focus on what you should be doing about your wife and your kids, I'd focus on whether this new relationship is as solid or as good as you think it is. Chances are it isn't. 70% of people who divorce and remarry admit later down the line that life was better with the first spouse. Most people like the whole business of meeting someone new, falling in love, getting to know each other. It's fun and exiting. I've known many people love the process so much they done it several times. They love the idea of falling in love. When the newness wears off, they tire easily. And it does get easier to divorce yet again.

If it is real, she'll wait a couple of years. If you are not happy within yourself though, nobody else can make you happy in the long run. Go and live on your own for a couple of years, without the safety net of a distracting relationship, you probably just need to sort your own head out first, especially given the disruption in your own childhood. These things can be surprisingly complex in later life. Make one rule for yourself, don't burn any bridges. This is a time for self reflection, not decisive action.
 
thebassist84 said:
I was not even present at the youngest ones birth as my wife said it was too intimate to share with me!

That is a big issue for some women. I even heard one of the female comedians on TV a week or so ago say that husbands should be present at birth but under no circumstances should they be allowed down at the business end. They think they may somehow lose some of their allure. Don't take it as a personal slight. When my daughter was born I was asked by a woman if I had been present at birth, which I had. She asked outright if it affected the way I looked at my wife as a woman afterwards.
 
I am in a relationship with a fellow diabetic, we are both type 1 and I can honestly say so far it is the best and happiest I have ever had. I was unhappy for 11 years but stayed because I was insecure about being on my own etc all the old clichés but ended up having the most amazing 6 years on my own going out with the girls and finding out who I was again. My ex didn't understand my t1 wasn't always understanding when I said I don't want to do that or am having a down day just said get over yourself and get on with it. My new man understands exactly how I feel we spend most of our lives laughing at ourselves, comparing BG results hypos the list goes on and on. We teach each other as we both have different experiences, but don't get me wrong it does not define us as a couple we have a normal fantastic relationship in every way.
Life is very short we only get one chance at it, snd although I would never tell you what to do it has to be your decision, you should be happy it will make you a better person and a better dad.
Whatever you do I wish you all the happiness for your future, keep well, whatever is meant to be will be xx
 
I wish you luck. It's always difficult to know what to do when emotions get in the way and its hard to avoid making hasty decisions. But, if you can take things slowly, a clearer picture often emerges.
 
Back
Top