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Room 101 (like the TV prog)

Pipp said:
BTW I would put in West Ham fans' song 'Blowing Bubbles'. How can the team aspire to any sort of success when they sing 'then like my dreams they fade and die. Fortune's always hiding' etc?
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Oh dear @semiphonic. I do like that song, really I do. I mean, who am I to talk about football team songs when my team has 'z' cars and 'it's a grand old team'?
Perhaps I need a bit of time in the holding area to contemplate the folly of disrespecting a sacred song of any footie team.
 

That was my way of saying 'sorry'.
Seen enough of holding area. Those MILs bent my ear too much.
 
Seriously_Sax1989 said:
A few people I work with...
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I remember my nan once in a well known shop staffed by prissy snot nosed assistants saying to the floor manager "If you think I will tolerate such an insolent remark from such a sub species of humanity, you can think again" and turning on her heel walked out, all the poor soul had said was "Are you sure about the colour Madam". oh yea my nan was a tartar.
 

She could have been good helping the mothers in law in the holding area. What a formidable and admirable woman!
 
Pipp said:
She could have been good helping the mothers in law in the holding area. What a formidable and admirable woman!
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She was indeed formidable if she said jump, you did and never asked how high, and I strive every day to be just as kind and loving to my grandchildren as she was with me,
 
Liverpool armchair supporters! And the media that feeds them.

Sick of them ruining a good football game full of good tactics and my entertainment!
 
I vote in Tablets
Not the kind you take two of with a glass of water for a headache, but the kind I'm using right now with a demon of an autocorrect

I'm imagining how different the world would end up being if instead of Moses giving himself a hernia staggering down Mount Sinai, the type of tablet he was carrying was this model. And imagining the look of disbelief when he read back the orders given from above :

You shall have no other dots .

You shall not make graver idioms.

You shall not tape the name of dog in rain.

Re member them Sabbaths data and jeep it hot.

Honour your fatter and bother

Thor shall hot krill

Thos shale nog comfit adultery

Thou shall not steak

Throe shall not beat fakes witless against they neighbour

The shawl not cover your neighbours ass


( before anyone starts a religious flame war against me, the above are all genuine iPad auto corrects. Hit " replace " to get the original version. If you insist )

Signy
 
nosher8355 said:
Liverpool armchair supporters! And the media that feeds them.

Sick of them ruining a good football game full of good tactics and my entertainment!
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As long as you mean the Liverpool FC team supporters ( who wear red) and not supporters from the city of Liverpool who support the team in blue. I am in agreement.
 

You make this a bit difficult for me @Heathenlass . If all tablet computers are to go in, then I will not be able to monitor 101 candidates without getting off my comfy couch and trying to fire up the ancient PC which I think Moses brought down the mountain.

So, maybe your tablet computer could go to the holding area for correction.

Maybe someone there would go adjust the settings.

Something is puzzling me though. Why would a heathen lass be typing the 10 commandments?

 
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Imagine if Moses on coming down the mountain had turned right and led his people that way ... the Jews would have all the oil and the Arabs all the sand!
 
Maximum upset potential ? Muwahahaha !

Tbh I really don't know why I picked on those , probably a deep seated reaction to my hatred of being told what to do If I had been a member of the tribes at the foot of Sinai, I would have been the one shouting " Oy ! Says who ? Been sucking up to the gaffer, have ya? Wot about the little people, where's our bl00dy vote, eh ? "

If you used this tablet in the holding area, it would cause a huge administrative **** up , the waiting list would be hundreds of years long

Signy
 
Hmm.
I don't think we can send all tablets in. Like @Pipp , I depend on my ancient ipad. I think its dodgy battery is already in there. And I'd like to put the charging cable in too, although to be fair, I think it would make more sense to take the dog tooth chew marks off the charging cable, and put them (the dents) into 101, rather than the cable itself... Can a dent go in? Seems a bit metaphysical.

Anyway, I digress.

How about putting predictive text in? Or did it go in earlier? Because if it did, some stray code escaped the cull, hid with the telemarketers, and seems to be proliferating.

As you can see, I'm wool gathering this evening. Impending doom. Back to work. Can I put my job in?
 

Cable, perhaps. What about the perpetrator of the tooth marks though? Would he benefit from the training from the MILs in the holding area? I know he is cute, and very young, so he can be excused the full deal, but can't have him going about chewing indiscriminately.

Re your job. It depends on how essential your job is to the comfort and wellbeing of the rest of us.
 
On second thoughts, perhaps instead of the cable chewer, the person that left the cable in chewing environment should head to the MILs for chastisement.
 

Tooth marks: the crime was perpetrated months ago, while teething. Teeth now all present and correct and chewing restricted to toys, tasty chews and screwed up empty envelopes (which he is given). I think there should be a statute of limitations on puppy crimes. Although new crimes could be held over him indefinitely. And there should be a max number of sniff-and-leg-****-widdles permitted in any 100 yard stretch.

But if you think the MILs would like some light relief in the form of cute doggy Meercat impressions, failing to fetch, and obsessive pork scratching begging, then he can certainly visit.

Job: it is in existence purely to cause me irritation, serves no useful purpose and doesn't pay enough. It's only possible raisin d'être (oops, some predictive text still lurking!) is a pension in 20 years. But if you ask me on a good day, I would have a very different answer...
 
Pipp said:
On second thoughts, perhaps instead of the cable chewer, the person that left the cable in chewing environment should head to the MILs for chastisement.
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Oh, on second thoughts, that's ok. Must have been Mr B. Couldn't have been me, could it? (No need to answer that question!)

I know. We'll ask mr B to take the MILs their tea and biscuits. Regularly. That should nip any further transgressions in the bud.
 

Let me get this right, @Brunneria, When pooch was just a pup you left cable within chewing distance, and failed to provide appropriate teething material. You would now deny him the essential right of unlimited canine sniffing and leg cocking. You taunt him by eating the wonderfully ( to dogs) aromatic porkie scratchings, yet expect him to fetch on command. Do you also try to prevent him from sniffing other dogs' bums? Methinks you need a rapid transfer from 010 to 101!

Oh, wait, not necessary, as you are returning to work. That should be enough punishment.

As for your job, don't think it should go in 101, as that would deny you your pension in 20 years, (that assumes the retirement age won't be put back even further by then). Basically my dear, you are in between a rock and a hard place here.
 
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