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So...

Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by Froobes, Mar 22, 2011.

  1. Froobes

    Froobes · Well-Known Member

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    Feeling pretty down in the dumps today. I had a heated discussion with my husband to be last night regarding my Diabetes. He gets very frustrated with me feeling hostile towards it and doesn't seem to grasp that it's something that will never go away. It started with me making a comment about my injection sites, which are something I find completely repulsive as I've now got lumps on my stomach. He told me that I should "stop moaning and inject in my arms and legs, too". Feeling particularly sensitive about it I leaped into a bit of a tirade about how I don't have enough fatty tissue on my arms to inject without it being very painful and the absorbtion rate in my legs is so appalling that I'm left with high blood sugars for hours on end - making me feel absolutely awful. He then went on to say I was talking rubbish and that many Type 1's can do it in those places so I should be the same :x . As the discussion went on, we then got onto lifestyle choices. We both smoke and both enjoy a drink. I am more than aware of the risks to my health that doing these things present, but I really do see it as freedom of choice. My hba1c results are good (improving each time), I test regularly and am sensible and indeed responsible when it comes to things like driving. I feel as though he has this idea that I should be a hardcore, regimented Type 1 who's life revolves around Diabetes. The truth is, it's not going to go away, I will have to inject and test for the rest of my life, but I don't feel as though I have to give my pleasures and freedoms up for the sake of Diabetes. I can be normal and enjoy the same things he does, just with a little more caution and awareness. I'm sorry for rambling, I guess this is my little outlet to get things off my chest. I do feel that, occassionally, there will be the odd person who is so hypocritical when it comes to diseases. The fact that he feels so justified in telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing when he is making the same lifestyle choices with the same risks to his health baffles me. I know I'm at increased risk, I know what can happen. I think we all know, Diabetic or not, that cigarettes, alcohol, saturated fats and chocolate aren't the best thing in the world for us but it exists as a pleasure and it's up to the individual to control the quantity and the outcome. I'm not a saint, I don't proclaim to be. I can forgive his ignorance because I have to deal with that on a regular basis as I'm sure most of you do, I guess it's the unwillingness to learn is what frustrates me most. The I-know-better-than-you attitude that makes me want to scream. Anyway, the (by that time) argument ended with being told "you've been Diabetic for over 5 years, you should have dealt with it by now." :roll:
     
  2. ams162

    ams162 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Diabetes is not easy to live with but its something we have to come to terms with i look at my 9 year old son and he never complains or moans or says why me, he is an inspiration to me everyday. your husband to be while maybe being a tad hypocritical in ur eyes is only saying these things because he obviously loves u and wants to spend the rest of his life with u and we always take things out on the ones we love.

    as for injecting elsewhere u may find ur arms painful but u do need to rotate my son has no meat on him at all but could tolerate his arms it was his belly he didnt like but always accepted sometimes it had to be done, if u continue with ur belly with the lumps ur results are going to stop improving im sure u know all this already just use somewhere else once in a while my sons other favourite was his bottom.

    sorry if it sounds like im siding with ur husband im not ur the one who has to live with this like u say for the rest of ur life, i am not in the same boat i care for my child with diabetes and altho i wont have to live with it forever he will and i would gladly take it from him if it meant he could live without it. keep smiling and plod on the best u can sure things will get easie

    anna marie
     
  3. Patch

    Patch Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Sounds to me like you started the argument. I suppose there is an argument that he should me more sensitive - but, let us not forget - we've recently had a full moon, and women be crazy around full moons. :wink:

    If he get's upset, don't mention it to him. Try injecting around your butt. I alternate between my butt and my belly (alternate cheeks/sides...)
     
  4. Froobes

    Froobes · Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the reply. I know it's because he cares, I just find it very frustrating. As an adult I think the treatment is perhaps different in the sense that you are more aware of things and you obviously have the freedom to decide what you do regarding your Diabetes. My arms are not only painful but are slow on absorbtion, too. I do the amount of insulin needed and 5 hours later my bms are still high. If I inject more they come down and I have a hypo because it ends up being too much.
    Haha Patch I wouldn't consider wanting to talk to your partner about feelings regarding a lifelong disease starting an argument...
     
  5. ams162

    ams162 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    its never easy is it, i teach dylan all i can now in the hope that when he has to make his own choices they will be informed and sensible i know im living in hope :lol:

    have u thought about an insulin pump if ur having problems i appreciate they r not for everyone but for us after a month and a half we think they r fantastic better control, less needles and altho dylan didnt want one or like the idea of it i persuaded him to try hes so glad i did he wouldnt part with it for anything

    anna marie
     
  6. Snodger

    Snodger · Well-Known Member

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    Froobes, oh my god, of course you feel bad if he is behaving that way. We are living with this thing which doesn't go away and it is tiring and depressing sometimes and sometimes you just want to be able to moan about it and feel like someone understands.

    I think you are right to be upset and frustrated, and actually I think you are being remarkably calm about it. If my partner had responded the way yours did... he'd be in A&E now having a kitchen knife de-inserted...

    You don't wake up one morning - after 5 years or after 50 - and suddenly find you've 'dealt with' diabetes. It's not that easy. Grrr that makes me angry on your behalf! :evil: And I am totally with you on the being-told-how-to-live-your-life stuff. Being diabetic doesn't mean you are suddenly a superhuman role model to everyone else.
     
  7. Froobes

    Froobes · Well-Known Member

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    I'm considering it more and more these days. I've never liked the idea of it as I can see it getting in the way of what I'm wearing etc. But perhaps is something to consider in more detail rather than just contemplating. I'm sure Dylan will be great as he gets older, you seem to be very clued up on everything. A big part of me wishes I was diagnosed when I was little so I didn't know any different. I think it's far easier to take advice from a parent/partner if they have been with you throughout the diagnosis and living. I get very defensive with him (although knowing he cares) when he suggests things that I've already tried and in turn he gets frustrated at me. Round in circles haha.

    Just read your post Snodger, thank goodness for that! I do try to be calm with him but it does rub me up the wrong way especially because he will absolutely not back down on ANYTHING. I just needed a little rant about it, I can't stand confrontation but my Diabetes is probably the only thing I will argue until I'm blue in the face about. There are people out there who are extremely well controlled and are as normal as someone without the disease and go them, I think it's great. It's each to their own, I do my best and have my opinions and desires on how I want to live my life and the last thing I want or need is someone with little knowledge informing me of what I should be doing.
     
  8. ams162

    ams162 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    u must not feel bad about having ur rant here hun we all understand how u feel whether we have to live with disease ourselves or look after someone who has it nobody understands more than the people on this website and have to admit i love a cruise of the boards hearing peoples problems.

    i think that was part of dylans reasoning behind not wanting the pump but honestly he loves it hardly notices he has it on half the time but he did say to me only yesterday he feels so much better on the pump, i could of cried after 4 years of real struggling my little boy can lead a normal life, its def worth looking at in more detail in my opnion.
    anna marie
     
  9. Froobes

    Froobes · Well-Known Member

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    Bless him, that's great news. I'm a little uneducated on the pump I must admit, does he have to wear it to bed? Another of my concerns would be it coming out as I do have a tendency to wriggle about a lot :lol:
    I do feel more comfortable getting things off my chest on here, even though I know there will be people who think I was being argumentative...(Patch :wink: ) I know there will be someone who can empathise. We're all humans, we're not designed to agree all of the time. But yeah, it's my little release and I'm so grateful for it.
     
  10. ZACNEMMA

    ZACNEMMA · Well-Known Member

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    Pump, pump,pump!
    Hugs x
     
  11. ams162

    ams162 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    yes he keeps it on him all the time only comes off for swimming or bathing, not probs with it being pulled out either he sleeps with it fine and i think u become quite inventive with how to wear it too. i am a strong believer of the pump and would recommend it to anyone if ur offered one def go for it :D :D :D

    we all do have different opinions i could see both urs and ur husbands point of view but if we cant talk about it here where can we regardless of if people agree or disagree with us :D

    anna marie
     
  12. jonesy

    jonesy · Well-Known Member

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    don't wait till you are offered a pump....

    fight for one!

    totally changed my 10 year old son's life!
    he is so much happier with his pump and, literally, laughs his head off when i tell him that some people don't want a pump.


    jonesy
     
  13. sugar2

    sugar2 · Well-Known Member

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    I had a aprtner like that once...so I dumped him and got a better one!

    Notreally a practical solution I know. It is very difficult for others to understad how it feels, how sometimes, you seem to be handling being diabetic just fine, doing what you should, and doing OK, then the next, it is the worst thing ever, but for me, it was importnat to find someone who could try and empathise. My hubby is no diabetes expert..but he know what he needs to do for hypos etc. H etrusts me to look after my own diabetes..which I appreciate and respect, as I am lucky enough to know, that should I need him to step up to teh mark he would do so. My mum, when I was diagnosed acted like a Mum...very concenrerd amnd caring and asking had I tested my blood, what felt like evry 2 minutes...as you say, easier to take froma parent, but I too would not want that from my husband!

    One thing that Patch said that I too wondered about (not the moon!!!) was injecting in your bum? Have you tried it? It might help...might not, but worth a try if you are supple enough?

    I guess sometimes, just the act of ranting can help things feela bit better. Take care.
     
  14. Patch

    Patch Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    But women do be crazy around the full moon! :wink:
     
  15. sugar2

    sugar2 · Well-Known Member

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    Patch...there is nothing special about teh full moon :p
     
  16. Froobes

    Froobes · Well-Known Member

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    Haha no not the most pratical solution. On one hand it infuriates me and on the other I have been in relationships in the past where they were so uninterested in my Diabetes they would probably try to give me more insulin if I passed out from an extreme hypo. I guess at least he knows what to do, it's just the clash in opinions. Can't win 'em all eh! I have never tried injecting there but I might give it a go, trial and error is always handy in finding out what works for the individual. I keep looking at pumps and am getting more swayed toward that option. Still, my main worry is from a cosmetic point of view. Will it restrict what I can wear and so on and so forth. I'm telling myself off for even thinking that, my health should be more of a concern to me than clothes. It does sound a little ridiculous reading it back, it is a worry, though.
     
  17. Froobes

    Froobes · Well-Known Member

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    And Patch, I think it's my partner who gets a little crazy around the full moon, starts to resemble a werewolf...
     
  18. Patch

    Patch Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I used to be a werewolf.

    But I'm alright nowooooooooooooooooooooh. :twisted:
     
  19. Froobes

    Froobes · Well-Known Member

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  20. ams162

    ams162 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    its not restricted dylan at all i have to say he loves wearing his football kits which have no pockets at all so thought they would be out but he has a belt and it goes on there so he can still wear everything he wore before i know some women wear them in their bras how i dont know :lol:

    might be worth asking ur DSN if they have anything u could try carrying around for a bit to see if u could cope with it they r quite small tho

    anna marie
     
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