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Struggling Mom :(

Discussion in 'Parents' started by Kelliem, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. Kelliem

    Kelliem · Newbie

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    April 27th 2013. The day my boy got diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.
    A day that completely changed his life, forever!
    I was a bit of a fool before my son got diagnosed. I didnt realise just how intense diabetes actually is.
    It's been nearly two months now, and I still can't believe it's happened to him.
    He's finding things so hard. Because he's only 3 years old he can't properly tell me or describe to me exactly what he's feeling. I'm constantly getting asked 'when will the injections stop mommy' & my heart breaks every time I inject him.

    I'm a single mom, I don't get (or expect) help from anyone else but with each passing day in finding it harder and harder to come to terms with.
    He puts up such a fight and comes up with some amazing excuses to try and get out of having his injections. He screams at me, begging me, not to do it anymore. But the more he gets stressed out, the more harm he does to himself.

    Help & advise on how to take the dark side of diabetes away would be very much appreciated.



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  2. sunday

    sunday Parent · Active Member

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    I´m so sorry for you.
    I can´t even imagine what you are going through. My daughter was 12 years old when she got diabetes. I think you have to tell him that it never stops even if this sounds hard to you. Maybe it helps him if you accept it. I think it´s even harder for him to see that it´s hard for you.
    My daughter told me that the hardest thing of her manifastation was the reaction af the doctor. He reacted very afeccted. So she thought: "he reacted like this so maybe I have to die" Later at the hospital when our diabetesdocter explained to her what it means to have diabetes she felt better.

    Is there the possibility to get an insulinpump? Then you have to do less injections. You have to change the canula every three days. Maybe it could help him if you play with him that he has to give the injection to his teddybear first (and you can play the bear who cries "no, I don´t want this")
    Is there a group of diabetics in your town? So maybe you can get help there.
    Warm greetings Vera
     
  3. MrsDMiles

    MrsDMiles · Well-Known Member

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    Hello
    My little boy was diagnosed in feb.
    He is 3 this month.
    I'm heart broken but it is slowly getting easier.
    Some fab Facebook groups

    Diabetic mums

    Parents of children with type one

    Join us, it's such a big help.
    Lots of love Danielle x


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  4. Mr Happy

    Mr Happy · Well-Known Member

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    I have 3 wee ones, autism is our challenge as opposed to diabetes (just me). Without being naive (as they grow so quick and it's easy to forget the trials of a toddler), have you tried making games or rewards out of it.

    Try and guess the blood glucose readings and maybe have some pictures he can use to describe his feelings (shaky pic or zzzz). These you could map against highs and lows then perhaps going forwards he could give you warning signs.

    Also maybe a reward chart for injections without a big fuss - ten stars gets a reward...

    Good luck and big hugs to the little one!

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  5. hale710

    hale710 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I know it's not the same as autism or diabetes, but we did this for my niece with her stutter. It meant she was afraid to talk, so she had milestones to achieve (report from nursery that she had answered at register, asked for a drink, said thank you, actively participating with the speech therapist etc) and for each one she got a sticker. Once the chart was full she got a present for working so hard on her words.

    Toddlers are easy won over. The more you get wound up about injections the more they sense it and become anxious. Like mr happy says, make it fun!

    I'm not mother, but I have 5 nieces and nephews and a 6th on the way and my favourite time is always hanging out with them :)
     
  6. SophiaW

    SophiaW Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    My daughter was 4 when she was diagnosed, so a little older but still very young to have to cope with it all. I remember the nurses telling me that she will get used to it all and even be coming to me asking for her finger to be pricked or injections to be done - ha! fat chance of that ever happening I thought! But they were right, as impossible as it seemed at the time, she did get used to it all and the time did come when she would remind me that she needed her finger pricked or time for injections. The first few months do feel impossibly difficult but please believe that it will get better and you and your son will get into a routine and the struggle will ease.

    If he's finding injections uncomfortable there are some things you can check. Is he using the finest and smallest needles available, check with your nurse. You can try numbing the injection site by rubbing an ice cube over the area before injecting. Try injecting in different places to see where is more comfortable for him, my daughter found outer thighs/legs more painful than bottom or upper arm. She's never allowed us to inject into her tummy. Not sure what he thinks of the lancets for finger prick tests but there are different ones available so speak with your diabetes nurse, you might find a different one more comfortable. Jess started with the Abbott Optium Xceed test meter and lancet but now uses the Accu-chek Aviva meter with lancet as they are more comfortable to use. JDRF do a teddy that can be used for practicing injections, maybe if he gets to inject the teddy at the same time as his injection it will help ease things and create a distraction. Look at the JDRF website, I'm sure the teddy is free to newly diagnosed children. Speak to your diabetes nurse, I'm sure she/he will have lots of tips and tricks for you to try that might help your son to be more relaxed about the routine.
     
  7. PickingPoppies

    PickingPoppies · Newbie

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    My son is 11 and was diagnosed during the Easter school holidays. I'm a single Mum with no supportive family and a 14 year old daughter. He had a few "moments" in hospital and I was really supportive and strong for him. We all dealt with it really well at first. He decided to take control and has done all of his jabs since the 3rd day in hospital and has done them all since. Everyone had been really impressed with us. (In hindsight I realise that I actually thought, deep down, that they'd made a mistake and misdiagnosed him so I was going along with it 'til they said it was something much less severe or temporary)

    3 weeks ago he had 2 to 3 hypo's a day for a week at school or at his Dad's (that scares me because I have to trust them to deal with it and they've both proven a few times that they don't quite know what they're doing). We kept dropping his insulin but only got it under control the following week. It seemed to really knock him for 6 emotionally and he's been moody and depressed since. That's what did it for me. I have a really stressful full time job that I can normally cope with but I had a meltdown after a particularly difficult day at work 2 weeks ago and I've been off sick since with "acute anxiety". I thought I was going mad. My GP gave me sleeping tablets and I've been doing self help stress relief stuff (I bought a hypnotherapy CD for stress and anxiety). We need to be strong for our kids to help them cope don't we. I had another severe anxiety attack this morning following a weekend with him being really sulky and depressed and bursting into tears. I've asked the diabetic nurses if they can offer some counselling for him but haven't heard back yet.

    I can rationalise it all in my head. He'll be fine, lots of people grow up with type 1 and lead normal healthy lives etc but you can't deny it's still really difficult to come to terms with. You want to protect your kids but end up feeling powerless. We have no history of it or any autoimmune disease in our family so it was a massive shock and like you I had no idea how intense diabetes is.

    Kelliem, your post made me cry. I seem to be finding it harder every day too and it breaks my heart to see my once bubbly, happy son so miserable. You and I both know it will get easier, mentally and physically at some point and lots of people further down the line than us have posted some lovely reassuring comments. We've just got to get through this bit first and it is much harder when you are on your own but it definitely helps to know you're not alone. I've never cried so much in my life :-/
     
  8. jayne15

    jayne15 · Well-Known Member

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    to all you newly diagnosed parents honestly it will get easier in terms of coping. take each day as it comes I know thats a cliché but its so true. Meg now 8 has been diagnosed since October and we went through exactly what you are all going through, I requested chams (child mental health service) support initially but following our consultation I realised we no longer needed this. as their blood sugars stabilise you will see a reduction in mood swings and we also used a reward chart which worked fantastically. Meg has been doing all her own blood sugars since week one and probably wouldn't let me do these- she can inject but chooses not to on most occasions we got to this point by using the reward chart. so 8 months on... yes things get tricky but more of an inconvenience that life limiting. Meg is excelling in school which was a big concern at first, she does sport most nights and enjoys this, and she accepts (at the moment !) the deal that has been dealt. we still have tears but not so often. she is going on a diabetes uk weekend without us in October eek ! In terms of work I had a bit of a melt down about 6 weeks post diagnosis and probably should have taken some time off, stress, worry and sleep deprivation don't mix so Id say take the time that you need to get well emotionally and if that means taking a few months off so be it. above all keep talking and posting, you will get a lot of support on this site.
    love and best wishes Jayne
     
  9. PickingPoppies

    PickingPoppies · Newbie

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    Thanks Jayne, that's so reassuring. I'm so glad I joined the forum. It's so helpful just to know we're not alone. Thankfully I have very understanding and supportive boss who will also make sure the pressure is off when I go back.


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  10. jayne15

    jayne15 · Well-Known Member

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    BTW Meg sometimes posts on here in my name and loves reading the reply s maybe this is something your boy may wish to do there seems to be a lot of kids his age in the children and teens section and it may help him feel less isolated. sometimes its easier for our kids to get things off their chest to a non parent as they don't want to upset us. Meg plays rugby in an all boys team and this really helps relieve some of the aggression. the positives ( if you can call them this) with the diagnosis - are financial- you and your son can get free tickets to the cinema, claim DLA, free tickets to Alton towers or similar with the magic wand foundation this doesn't compensate what you are going through but helps to make life a little more fun. we are all closer since Megs diagnosis and really I have to say she is the healthiest she has ever been down to all the exercise and fab diet she has. the other thing I would recommend is registering as a carer at your local carers centre- most do free complimentary therapies which gives you a bit of you time.
     
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