Success! Failure! Gah..!

[Dillinger]

Hello,

I was thinking that a lot of the 'diary' type posts on here where people discuss recent diabetic issues in their lives fall into 2 broad categories; either ‘success posts’ or ‘failure posts’.

I hope it's not just me but sometimes when struggling along with diabetes it's the failure posts that are easier to take than another person getting into the 5% club. That's not to say that the better part of me is not pleased by others' successes but that another part of me does understand Gore Vidal when he said "when a friend succeeds a little piece of me dies."

So what? Well I've got a success/failure post to emotionally confuse you with.

Last December my HbA1c came out as 6.7 which is not great (I've updated it below) but I didn't want to update my signature because it felt like a failure. Being a ardent low-carber it felt as if I had not only let myself slip a bit but had by doing so damaged ‘the cause’. Especially as I can be quite vociferous in posting 'it's the carbs, stupid!' type comments (misquoting Clinton, by the way, not calling anyone here stupid!)

It is the carbs of course, but there's much more to it than that. I then thought well if I can’t be honest about how I’m getting along what right do I have to offer advice to others. So, I offer that failure as solace to those who think 'everyone else manages so well, why can't I?'

And the success? Well, I've just had my annual retinopathy review. For at least 20 years I’ve had signs of mild non-proliferative retinopathy with a grading of 'NSC 1' (the lowest level as I understood it). However, this week I just got a 'downgrade' to NSC 0 in both eyes; meaning that my retinopathy has receded to being barely observable. I’m hoping that if the eyes are good then everything else is going to be ok as well.

That means even without perfect control one can improve the symptoms of this so-called 'progressive disease'.

So, I invite you, my friends, to put your best forced fake smiles on and say ‘well done Dillinger’ in a strained voice whilst thinking ‘at least I’ve got a better HbA1c than that goon’.

Best

Dillinger

 

[tim2000s]

Well done @Dillinger. Good to see living proof that Hba1C isn't the be all and end all of life! Especially good news of the retinopathy! Hoping mine turns out as well.

 

[Mike d]

Great effort @Dillinger and a terrific lesson for those that, at times, feel like this condition is getting the better of them. No fake smiles from me, even from this distance

Mike

 

[paula.nolan42]

@Dillinger I salute you - have an emoji

I have felt acute failure this week - perhaps I need to be more philosophical about my failures !

 

[Jubblyjo1601]

Well done @Dillinger ! That's great news! This post also gives me hope that my background retinopathy may improve once I get tighter control of my sugar levels! So thank you for sharing with us! Real smiles from me!

 

[ladybird64]

Well done Dillinger!!!

(Al, you know me well enough to know I don't do "fake" smiles - congrats)

 

[Finsky]

I don't need to put fake smile on. I feel rather chuffed from your behalf. We don't live in ideal world..there is room for more than 'better than yours HbA1'..SO WELL DONE DILLINGER!!!
Of course we want to get good results etc. but it ain't easy and doctors (those that I've seen and they are many) are always preaching the ideal control levels and what happens if...(add you chosen 'scarecrow')...
Last 20+ years it has been 'the risk of pancreatis' that is regularly thrown on the table..'if you don't do this and that'....PANCREATIS!
No...my control have not been ideal for looooooong time...part from last few month, EVER..and yet, I don't show signs of diabetic complications...all health issues I've had have been medication side effect related!
I do appreciate honesty from people...even if it is not always the good news. I'm ok with either type of news..finding both equally interesting/boring. I don't have 'dying pieces' issues...I just sometimes feel sorry for those who are not willing or able to help themselves to get their condition little bit better.

 

[Brunneria]

Ha ha! I am with you - it is one of the reasons I tend to post my less than perfect days of eating on the LC'What did you eat today' - we all have feet of clay, but we all keep on chugging along.

And great news about that retinopathy! F'ing marvellous that you can show an improvement after 20 years of non-improvement.

 

[Juicyj]

I salute you @Dillinger - well done and thank you for being an aspirational figure to me, my HbA1c is no where near as good as yours (I like to keep quiet about that) and although I don't think I am a failure as this year I had a clear retinopathy test after 2 years with background, I still yearn to get a HbA1c I can shout about

 

[DavidGrahamJones]

it felt like a failure

It's not a test. Work in progress? Yes.

Gore Vidal when he said "when a friend succeeds a little piece of me dies

Interesting quote, which I'm pleased to say I have never experienced. Quite the opposite really.

We really are all different and it's not a bad thing. Although I got a right earful from an elderly lady, one of several elderly ladies I take to Tesco in a minibus every week. What did I do wrong? I said the Bible was a good example of something where certain things could be interpreted in different ways and that the word "hermaneutics" means the branch of knowledge that deals with interpretation, especially of the Bible or literary texts. She wasn't having it, actually shouted at me, I thought world war III was breaking out. I suppose it didn't help when I remarked that I didn't think her shouting at me was a very christian thing to do. Just call me the devil's advocate. LOL

Sorry for the meandering post.

 

[noblehead]

Nothing wrong with a HbA1c of 6.7% @Dillinger

Stable (consistent) good bg control is said help with diabetic retinopathy (preferably with a HbA1c of 7 or below) so it must be such a relief to be told that your all clear, so well done and I agree with you wholeheartedly that it's not all about the carbs

 

[zand]

Great post as usual. (That's not a fake smile either.) Yep it's oh so hard to keep this diabetes thing under control all of the time and I've only being trying to do so for four and a half years. Thanks @Dillinger I've taken a lot of encouragement from this thread. I'm not a failure, I'm a successful person who fails sometimes.