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trying to sort it out

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dietfizzy

Active Member
Messages
39
Location
manchester
i have been diagnosed for around 7 months with type 1 diabetes, i thought i was coping well well i think to everyone else it im fine... yes no problems.... but inside im not. im scared all the time im not sleeping so well, my husband is great, but lately i am having more off days than good, my mood is much darker and i cant seem to shake it the past few days ive been bursting into tears for no reason. im not good about talking ot people about my problems but to be honest i feel isolated, i know noone else with diabetes and i dont have any one to talk to about my feelings. i have two grown sons and one aged 11, hes been great but i dont want to get upset around him as hes at an age where he questions everything. i feel stressed i am unable to relax i feel like my life has gone from normal to medical carrying insulin and blood monitors and im just so ****** off with it all. i am trying to be so positive but inside i feel like a scared kid and i dont know what to do. can any one help
 
Hello Dietfizzy,

I can promise you that most of us on here have felt the same as you at some point and probably will again sometime in the future. It's a ****** hand to be dealt when diagnosed with diabetes. I remember thinking on diagnosis that my life was over to all intents and purposes and what was left was going to be about getting through it long enough to see my children to adulthood. Then I found this forum. You've no idea how grateful I am to the people on here, not least of all because they know exactly how it feels to live with diabetes. I don't find it easy to tell people how I feel. It's my nature to "cope" and not show any outward sign of weakness. At first I didn't want to talk about my diabetes to anyone. I was afraid I would bore them to death. It's very hard for people to understand how complex diabetes can be if they don't suffer from it. There is very little education about it and I admit to thinking all you had to do was avoid sugary things before I was diagnosed :oops: .

Try to tell your partner how you feel. Also your children will be more scared of what they don't know rather than what you tell them. They will have picked up on your mood, no matter how hard you try to hide it (mine did). When I explained to my kids how I felt and taught them about hypo's etc, you should have seen the relief on their faces. They know what to do to help me if I need it. I think they were scared I was keeping something horrible from them so they were worried.

Best bit of advice I got was "be kind to yourself". Ask for help from family and friends when you need it.
The other thing is, if you have good control, it fairly lifts your mood. What are your readings like?
Lots of help to be had here from some great people. Look around and ask away.

Caitycakes x
 
Hi there Dietfizzy,
You have my sympathy and understanding as so many of us have been where your are now and have come through it , and I guess that is my message to you - you will come though it.

I can't add very much to what Caitycakes has said except that you sound as though you could do with some support and, although we are often critical of Diabetes UK (the charity, not this website), one of the things they do offer is local groups that can provide support to each other. I don't know if there is a support group near you but here is a link to the website where you can find your nearest group.
http://www.diabetes.org.uk/Get_involved ... ry-groups/
 
i know exactly how you feel with the dark moods. I have them on a regular basis and they can last for weeks sometimes. Sometimes i feel fine for a few weeks.

There is something called Diabetes Burden, which leads to a lot of low moods, and a lot of type 1 diabetics suffer it.

Im two and half years past diagnosis now.

You should definatly talk to your husband about hwo you are feeling, let him know that it's not him, it litterally is just you (or your diabetes). I occasionally need to re-assure my other half that it's not her that im in a mood with, she's well aware of how im feeling most of the time so she doesn't take it personally. Unfortunatly diabetes really does affect those close around us and i think it's got a lot to do with the emotional side of things!
 
Hi Diet fizzy

Like Caity said, I think it would take a pretty hardened person not to be affected by their diagnosis, now and in the future, given the implications of it for life. I feel I have been mentally coping quite well (dx only two months) though that can change in the blink of an eye on the basis of a higher reading, or a comment from the GP or DSN that leaves me feeling frustrated and upset. Silly things also set me off like seeing all the Christmas things in the shops (Thorntons choc covered toffee :( ) and thinking constantly about what I can and cant have. It's actually freedom I'm 'mourning' rather than food stuffs per se but knowing this doesnt stop me feeling very sorry for myself in supermarkets.
Also if my routine is out a bit ,I can find the panic rising about what to do (ie having a coffee with a friend between tea time and bed time (will a skinny latte send me through the roof Waah!) and then just becoming really annoyed both with myself for getting in a state and for having diabetes in the first place. And you want to see me if im due to inject or eat and im unexpectedly stuck in a traffic jam.................

I think I was in such a state of (obvious) shock when I was diagnosed that when I inisist that I am mentally better now nobody really believes me, and you'll probably find that people who know you well can tell to some degree how you are doing but might not want to say. Most people will take their cue from you ( I find) and dont want to ask questions for fear of upsetting you, but sometimes when people do ask or maybe comment on my pallor, or whatever, I can get annoyed with people making mention of it so they maybe feel that they cant win. If you act like you are coping, people will assume you are.

I approached my dx at full pelt, convinced myself I would have stable sugars within two weeks and rebuked any notion from family and the other half that things would take time to settle.
I am constantly having to adjust my own mental parameters and Im sure this will be the case for the duration of my condition. If you are someone who is used to coping with everything, for everybody, its really hard to ask for help and as noted, diabetes is so complex that you cant explain what its like to people and when you do there is little else they can do except let you rant/rave/cry and offer emotional support, but only if you ask for it.Also, the management of diabetes in most cases is so much dependent on us as individuals that others can seem as if they play a minimal part.

In fact when someone asked my partner how MY diagnosis had been affecting him, he said that the only change for him was that quality of the meals had got better :mrgreen: He was obv kind enough to not tell them about my intermittent 'you dont understands' and 'its alright for you' outbursts - but he doesnt, and it is, so if I want to I will continue to have my outbursts of this manner if they occur. By and large though I think silent weeping in the bath/shower seems to be the norm for lots of people.

I know I have been a diabetic bore in recent weeks but feel that its what I need to do to keep myself sane and to slowly educate the people closest to me about the things that are going to impact on me, and them. It is hard though because asking for help makes people feel helpless or weak - and it just isnt true. I minimise when I am having hypos/injecting from my family all the time because I dont want to worry them though they will at some point become part of my 'care' (hoping not for a very long time). My younger sister is keen to learn to inject me in event Im unwell, and my older sister pretty much avoids anything other than a basic how are you.

So, speak to your family, in any way you can. You will find that they will respond better than you think, have probably noticed you are not great (why would they ask how you are if they really thought you were coping) and more importantly - tell them.

Diabetes is not fair, its a **** disease with so many complex variables but there are millions worldwide, and about 3 million in UK alone, so - you are not alone.

x
 
You are definately not alone. We all go through periods when we are angry at everything and everyone for having diabetes. I've been in one the last 2-3 weeks and I think I'm just coming out of it. Tell people how you feel especially with hypos. I'm type 2 diet + exercise only so not as regimented as your life is. I've started having hypos more recently especially going home on the bus. Terrifying for me. Frightened sister last time had one at home as she really didn't know what was going on. Now she knows to get me soemthing to eat/drink and eventually I'll be okay.
This site is great to talk to people or just let off steam at life/people/diabetes. :)
 
thanks everyone you are all right and i am having a bad few days, angry it not some thing i easily get but i am angry that i have diabetes(or at the diabetes) if that makes sense not for one minuite i would wish it on anyone else! its the loss of control i feel like something alien has taken over my body, i get very frustrated if i cant control my bg and i know i sometimes can help it.
my blood sugars are good rarely over 7 i had a good cry and spoke to my husband and he said we can talk tonight... i am pretyy healthy otherwise no obvious problems. i think its just recently hit me that its not like a cold it wont go away it here to stay and thats the main problem.
well i had better go and get sorted thanks to everyone who answered i do appreciate it and i will look and see if there is a support group in my area xx thanks again feeling slightly better
diet fizzy
 
Hi dietfizzy, sorry you're having such a bad time lately but from your last posting you've taken the first step as you say that you and your hubby are going to talk tonight :) . When you do, sort out how quickly you're going to tell your children as if you've kept it a secret from them they will only think the worse and i can assure you it won't just be diabetes that they'll have in their minds it will be something far worse (you know how kids minds work) :shock: .

keep coming on the site for the best advice and support you could possibly hope for.

Good luck and best wishes xx

Hazey
 
MASSIVE thanks to everyone who posted yesterday, ive hada good chat with my husband and got things in to a slightly better perspective than i had yesterday. he said that he didnt understand how low i was feeling because iseemed to be coping fine xx i explained a few problems yesterday and speaking to my consultant today has made me feel so much better, he told me that the feelings i am having are normal and it will take time to sort out and get used to my new adjustments x
i was feeling slightly sorry for myself and today i feel well it could be a **** sight worse.
and take each day as it comes, i was also slightly worried about having a hypo in my sleep this is of my own doing i should know better than to scare myself but it has caused me great concern. it happens its rare i know but i cant worry about it x thanks again for all the help i know where to go when i am having a meltdown
diet fizzy xxxxxx
 
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