type 1 diabetic out on the dating scene

[jesse112]

Hi im jesse im type 1 diabetic insulin dependent . Im writing here to get some advice, i have resentlly started getting back into the dating game . But not with any luck it seems that when i tell the people im on a date with our dating they think that im lazy and eat really unhealthy , i have even been told when i do my injections that i look like a herion addict . I have allways been a healthy eater as far back as i can remember my mum even said that i would pick fruit over sweets our icecream when i was young . I play tennis every thursday and go to the gym every other day i dont drink alchohol so no never am i lazy nor do i eat unhealthly . Does anybody have any advice

 

[PseudoBob77]

Go and do your injection in the wash room if it's an issue, i usually do especially if you're unsure how people may react. Some people are squeamish and others just come out with that stupid **** that you look like a heroin addict. If they think that looks like a heroin addict then they're stupid as *uck, it's just ignorance really. Tell them to watch the movie Trainspotting, slight difference between the two lol

 

[TorqPenderloin]

Sounds like you had some bad dates more than anything else.

It also sounds like you may be making this a bigger deal than it is. Obviously, you have a right to be concerned about it, but many people don't know how to react when they see someone taking insulin. If you act like it's a big deal, they might too.

Be yourself. Maybe hide some (or most) of your bad habits (we all have them) if possible, but don't try to be someone you're not.

 

[philchap1]

Don't change, if they are that shallow they're not worthy of you, you'll meet someone who will want you for who you are.

 

[Gaz-M]

Ive never dated since me and the ex split up 15 years back, but the ones you have dated from what I can see are exactley like what Phillchap1 has said

 

[tim2000s]

12-15 years ago I decided to go dating. I met loads of women. Those who had an issue I decided weren't worthy of my time. I always talked about diabetes upfront. If they can't accept that then what on earth makes you think they'd be someone you'd want to get to know?

It worked. I've been with the same person for 12 years.

As has already been said. Be yourself. That includes your diabetes.

 

[jesse112]

Sounds like you had some bad dates more than anything else.

It also sounds like you may be making this a bigger deal than it is. Obviously, you have a right to be concerned about it, but many people don't know how to react when they see someone taking insulin. If you act like it's a big deal, they might too.

Be yourself. Maybe hide some (or most) of your bad habits (we all have them) if possible, but don't try to be someone you're not.

I really dont think i am i know im used to people knowing im diabetic so i generally inject anywere because they accept that i need to do it . Maybe i should hide it away but im not that type of person and dont intend to be

 

[jesse112]

Go and do your injection in the wash room if it's an issue, i usually do especially if you're unsure how people may react. Some people are squeamish and others just come out with that stupid **** that you look like a heroin addict. If they think that looks like a heroin addict then they're stupid as *uck, it's just ignorance really. Tell them to watch the movie Trainspotting, slight difference between the two lol

I like your comment about trainspotting lol it true though. Im a bit off a germaphobic so dont do my injections in the toilet with all the poo and wee particals errrrr lol

 

[TorqPenderloin]

I really dont think i am i know im used to people knowing im diabetic so i generally inject anywere because they accept that i need to do it . Maybe i should hide it away but im not that type of person and dont intend to be

Hopefully, that's the way you feel when you're around everyone. It's part of your life, you need it to survive, and anyone who cares about you should respect that. Pretty simple.

Many of these signals are given subconsciously:
If a girl has her arms crossed the entire night, she's probably not that interested in you and you should move on.
If her body is facing you, but she's look away at the wall, she's probably into you, but is shy.
If her entire body is facing away from you she probably can't wait for the date to end.
If she's playing with her hair, fumbling with her phone (but not looking at it), or doing something with her hands, it probably means she's uncomfortable, but in a good way.

You can tell a lot about what a person is thinking without them ever actually saying a word. On the other hand:

-If you're looking around to see if anyone is starting at you before injecting it shows that you're nervous. That could make other people nervous too.
-If you get upset or defensive to comments about your eating habits it means you may be insecure.
-If you make a point to discuss your diabetes, your diet, and your exercise you're making the date all about you

Remember that first dates are NEVER about us as guys. The less you talk and the more she does the better.

On your next date, ask the girl a really engaging question and get her talking about something she obviously enjoys. Then, while she's still talking and without breaking eye contact, take out your insulin and give yourself a healthy injection right in front of her like it's no big deal.

 

[Natalie1974]

I've had a little experience of Internet dating...it's a tough game...and not something I ever hope to be doing again to be honest.
However...I will give you the benefit of my experience...maybe it could help in some small way.
First date...keep it simple...meet for a coffee or a couple of drinks...save yourself some money and avoid the game players and don't sign up to the whole meal thing...if you meet early enough and it goes well...maybe progress to a meal if it feels right.
Prepare a few questions outside the normal...work..family type stuff...keep it interesting...something that could open the conversation up. My personal favourite was always "name 5 people...dead or alive that you would invite to dinner"...if she says Katie Price...grab your coat and run like the wind.
For the benefit of a first date...maybe best to put the diabetes thing on the back burner...that's probably best left for a second or third date...while for us...it's not such a big deal...and just part of life...making it a focus of your date could be quite off putting. As an example...although not entirely comparable...my daughter went on a first date a couple of weeks ago and the guy started talking in great detail about how his mother had cancer...she spent the entire night comforting him...she's a lovely girl and was very sympathetic but found it all too uncomfortable for a first date.
If you make it to second or third date...arrange to go for a meal and use the opportunity to be open about your diabetes...explain a little about how it works...that it's no big deal but that it's just a part of who you are...any intelligent or caring woman will get it...if they don't...don't waste any more time on them...there is someone for everyone out there...just some are harder to find.
Fingers crossed for you...hope your next date goes better x

 

[noblehead]

Don't be deterred @jesse112, not all dates will be like that and I'm sure you will find someone who is caring, understanding and isn't judgemental to others. Good luck.

 

[TorqPenderloin]

@Natalie1974 's post resonates with me. I met my girlfriend (and soon to be fiancée) through an online dating website. It's definitely an interesting process.

Just like Natalie mentioned, coffee dates are the perfect first date (if you're doing online dating). The goal is to learn about the girl and decide if there MIGHT be a connection, but you don't want to get too invested too quick. In contrast, you probably don't want her to get too invested either. Natalie is right, you shouldn't hide your diabetes, but it may be better for it to come up during a later date.

Just like she said, have some fun questions prepared to keep the conversation going and make sure you're never talking about something sad or negative. Remember, people love talking about themselves. I always tried to listen at least twice as much as I talked.

 

[Jaylee]

Hi,

It's kind of strange thinking about it. Technically I've never been on a cold date.. The relationships I've had have developed through social activities or mutual friends. & we just naturally "gravitated" from there..? (Lol, horse riding & theatre clubs or music has a lot of mixed company.) we always just got caught up in the mutual interest thing...?
I've always kept the D close to my chest. Playing it down. OK so she might pick up on the skipping desert or preference for sugar free.. Disappearing round the corner with a gadget..
If they are genuinely intrigued? They will eventually ask. (Human nature.)

 

[lucynical]

Perhaps I've just been lucky, but most people I've gone on dates with have genuinely been interested to learn about diabetes if and when it comes up in conversation. I don't have a rule about when I'll mention it but I certainly don't hide it.

Ultimately you can't chose whether to have diabetes or not, but you can chose who you spend your time with. If they aren't willing to at minimum be tolerant, and at best, fully get behind it and learn with you, then sack them off!

 

[Juicyj]

Dating really is a minefield even without diabetes !!

Stay mum for the first date as said before meet for a coffee and chat and see if there are sparks.

As said before, if they start becoming a diva about your status then shout 'NEXT' and move on, life is too short and fate has an uncanny way of working things out, the right girl is out there for you, just don't waste time on the wrong one

 

[Jaylee]

Just tell em about the "body" in the boot of your car..

If they stay? You go..

 

[MISTY10]

Don't do what I did, keep it totally secret until I moved in with now husband .....
Had an almighty nocturnal hypo needing paramedics and 6 hospital porters yo hold me down on the first night in our new home together !!!
Oooops
Married now 11 years so I must be worth it lol
I'd advocate telling them for your own safety if they ask questions great but I'd just tell them hypo symptoms and maybe tell them they are rare ..... At first do not to scare them off.
Enjoy !!

 

[Jessd]

Just having fish fingers for tea, numbers still bad (ticked off with it now) drinking loads of water but going to make a cuppa in a min

 

[Jessd]

Sorry somehow posted on wrong thread

 

[zoze_j]

Hi im jesse im type 1 diabetic insulin dependent . Im writing here to get some advice, i have resentlly started getting back into the dating game . But not with any luck it seems that when i tell the people im on a date with our dating they think that im lazy and eat really unhealthy , i have even been told when i do my injections that i look like a herion addict . I have allways been a healthy eater as far back as i can remember my mum even said that i would pick fruit over sweets our icecream when i was young . I play tennis every thursday and go to the gym every other day i dont drink alchohol so no never am i lazy nor do i eat unhealthly . Does anybody have any advice

Yes, I do - screw them!!!!!

My BIGGEST pet hate (aside from people who drive & use their mobile phones!) is ignorance & stupid snarky comments people come out with about diabetes.

1) If your dates are put off by diabetes, they're not even worth your time. All my boyfriends have had to, at some stage, peel me off the floor or force feed me chocolate! Love me, love my diabetes (ok, so maybe replace love with tolerate!!) Also, if they're ignorant enough to think you're diabetic because you're lazy & eat nothing but Quality Street, they're incredibly ignorant and again, not even worth it!

2) As far as the heroin addict comment go, I truly believe in Karma. And Karma is a vengeful soul. I've had so many comments like that over the years, and when I was younger they made feel ashamed of my diabetes. Screw that! I have nothing to be ashamed of!

Hope my rantiness can be of some help! Haha