Apologies in advance for moaning, I know I'm a lot better off than a lot of people. I have t1 diabetes, severe anorexia nervous, reflux disease, and have recently been told I have stage 4 kidney disease. Apparently they are thinking I may need dialysis in the near future. Neuropathy has damaged my bladder, stomach, and I have those awful fizzing feet and hands. I am mobility limited and have had cataracts removed from both eyes but apparently need further treatment. I've been having such severe hypos that I'm facing losing my driving license, which is another worry as I live in a semi rural area, alone. Basically, if I were your pet, you'd probably have me out down! I have been in hospital since the end of August and am going to be allowed home soon, which is great as I can start to think about having a real life again. I'm trying to think positively, but for the fact I have been told I need a permanent catheter and I'm devastated. I feel like an old woman, but I'm only 34. I hate having to have carers, and I feel disgusting and untouchable because I will have to live the rest of my life with a piss bag strapped to my leg. They have been talking about a suprapubic catheter, but I don't want a catheter at all. I struggled enough with a nephrostomy. However, I know what we want and need are often two different things. I was wondering if anyone else out there has experience of living with a long term catheter and how they cope with the day to day things like going out or how to dress to hide the damn thing? I just really want and need to have some hope right now. I don't want to feel this is it for the rest of my life.i feel that illness has taken everything from me. I used to have a great job, was totally independent and a productive life. Now I feel I'm facing a very uncertain future. Please, if you can offer any advice, I'd be eternally grateful.