- Messages
- 533
- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
- Treatment type
- Other
Hi All,
I'm not totally sure what I'm looking for exactly - but I need a little help on getting past something that happened last Thursday...
I was out shopping: that morning I'd done 45mins strenuous (Vinyasa - as opposed to the more chilled Hatha style) yoga, then an hours stomp with the dogs - then into town to do some jobs and do a bit of shopping.... so an active day - but not unheard of (I often do the yoga, then the walk).
Anyway - at around 4.30pm I felt a bit hungry - talking on board that I was a bit more active than usual, I tested (4.9 - so not low) and got a green juice from a juice bar, and carried on shopping. I should mention that apart from my background - which usually is spot on - I didn't have any active insulin on board as I can usually get away without injecting any bolus at lunch time, so long as I keep my lunch below 20g carbs and go for a good walk with the dogs afterwards: both of which I'd done that day.
At 5.50pm I went into the ladies of the shop I was in - definitely washed my hands as I remember the paper towels - then tested. 7.8 - kinda what i expected after the juice. I had already gotten my dinner - and I tend to eat really early; like 6.30/7pm latest - so I decided to inject in the loos, finish what I was doing in that shop, and go eat. The second thing I should mention is that I'm on porcine neutral for my bolus insulin; which *always* has an onset of at least 45mins - most usually an hour. So I always inject 30mins before I eat as a minimum. Even when it becomes active, its very slow - which is why I like it - but I've never seen it bring me down more than a couple of points even after an hour of injecting prior. Meaning I was expecting to inject, spend 30 mins or so in the shop, wander out and find a seat and eat... and in normal circumstances I would have been a low 6 by the time I did that.
After I came out of the loos, having just injected, I wandered over to a sale rail and basically spent twenty minutes just flicking through it and holding tops up etc - my point being is that I actually barely walked anywhere/did anything as I got distracted by this one rail. Having finished faffing around with the rail I was kinda aware it was now close to 6, so I'd go find somewhere to eat. I felt completely normal at this point: I just thought it would be a good idea to go find somewhere. As I'm walking out of the shop I suddenly see white spots and am aware my knees are buckling - everything from this point blurs a bit - but basically I grabbed my meter, tested, and was 2.1. Even whilst I was semi-passing out I couldn't believe my numbers would have dropped that much, that quickly - so whilst shoving a couple of glucose tablet in me, retested and it still said 2.1. To cut a really long waffle a bit shorter - the store staff came rushing over, panicked at the state of me (by this point the sweats and shakes had kicked in big-time), and called an ambulance. Suffice to say all was eventually fine.
What I'm struggling with / why I'm posting is cos I'm not doing a great job of "getting over it". I live alone and the whole thing has really shaken me up; and I'm sorta embarrassed to say i've fallen into a bit of a pity party around feeling like:
a) I could have died
b) I had noone to go to, to "look after" me, for the days afterwards (I mean, just give me a hug/make me a cup of tea/be around whilst I have to get over the association of injecting etc - rather than needing actual care - it was emotional support I needed, rather than physical),
c) not knowing why it happened - so not knowing how to prevent it again. In the past I've had hypos, but I've always been able to relate them to stuff - so can put things in place to try and reduce the changes of it happening again. This time, apart from being a tiny bit more active perhaps, I can't relate it to anything. And I'm not convinced by the activity thing as I'm sure I've been that active in a day before without such a crazy drop in such a short time. I'm also totally freaked out that I didn't feel it - at all.
and d) feeling like no-one really gets how scary it was. All this happened on Thursday - and on Saturday I saw my boyfriend (who lives a 4.5 hr drive away for work - so we only see each other weekends). We're in a committed relationship and hopefully long term relationship - despite our distance in the week - so I was desperate for some support by the time I got to see him. When I did see him it was apparent he didn't really want to talk about it and eventually said he didn't see the point in dwelling on it. Which I kinda get - but it's also kinda hard when I'd just spent two days with no-one to process it over with/give me a hug and say "jeez, what a sh*t day".
So - as I said at the start - I'm not sure what I'm looking to hear: but I'm now back at home (alone again) and left feeling extremely anxious, and not very supported.... I'm worried about how to stop the anxiety really manifest itself (I've had problems with anxiety many years ago - really don't want to go back there), plus I'm aware this could be damaging to my relationship if I start to allow the niggle of not feeling all that supported turn into resentment too....
Sorry for the ridiculously long post - but any tips on how to "let it go" - without turning into a Disney film - would be massively appreciated....
I'm not totally sure what I'm looking for exactly - but I need a little help on getting past something that happened last Thursday...
I was out shopping: that morning I'd done 45mins strenuous (Vinyasa - as opposed to the more chilled Hatha style) yoga, then an hours stomp with the dogs - then into town to do some jobs and do a bit of shopping.... so an active day - but not unheard of (I often do the yoga, then the walk).
Anyway - at around 4.30pm I felt a bit hungry - talking on board that I was a bit more active than usual, I tested (4.9 - so not low) and got a green juice from a juice bar, and carried on shopping. I should mention that apart from my background - which usually is spot on - I didn't have any active insulin on board as I can usually get away without injecting any bolus at lunch time, so long as I keep my lunch below 20g carbs and go for a good walk with the dogs afterwards: both of which I'd done that day.
At 5.50pm I went into the ladies of the shop I was in - definitely washed my hands as I remember the paper towels - then tested. 7.8 - kinda what i expected after the juice. I had already gotten my dinner - and I tend to eat really early; like 6.30/7pm latest - so I decided to inject in the loos, finish what I was doing in that shop, and go eat. The second thing I should mention is that I'm on porcine neutral for my bolus insulin; which *always* has an onset of at least 45mins - most usually an hour. So I always inject 30mins before I eat as a minimum. Even when it becomes active, its very slow - which is why I like it - but I've never seen it bring me down more than a couple of points even after an hour of injecting prior. Meaning I was expecting to inject, spend 30 mins or so in the shop, wander out and find a seat and eat... and in normal circumstances I would have been a low 6 by the time I did that.
After I came out of the loos, having just injected, I wandered over to a sale rail and basically spent twenty minutes just flicking through it and holding tops up etc - my point being is that I actually barely walked anywhere/did anything as I got distracted by this one rail. Having finished faffing around with the rail I was kinda aware it was now close to 6, so I'd go find somewhere to eat. I felt completely normal at this point: I just thought it would be a good idea to go find somewhere. As I'm walking out of the shop I suddenly see white spots and am aware my knees are buckling - everything from this point blurs a bit - but basically I grabbed my meter, tested, and was 2.1. Even whilst I was semi-passing out I couldn't believe my numbers would have dropped that much, that quickly - so whilst shoving a couple of glucose tablet in me, retested and it still said 2.1. To cut a really long waffle a bit shorter - the store staff came rushing over, panicked at the state of me (by this point the sweats and shakes had kicked in big-time), and called an ambulance. Suffice to say all was eventually fine.
What I'm struggling with / why I'm posting is cos I'm not doing a great job of "getting over it". I live alone and the whole thing has really shaken me up; and I'm sorta embarrassed to say i've fallen into a bit of a pity party around feeling like:
a) I could have died
b) I had noone to go to, to "look after" me, for the days afterwards (I mean, just give me a hug/make me a cup of tea/be around whilst I have to get over the association of injecting etc - rather than needing actual care - it was emotional support I needed, rather than physical),
c) not knowing why it happened - so not knowing how to prevent it again. In the past I've had hypos, but I've always been able to relate them to stuff - so can put things in place to try and reduce the changes of it happening again. This time, apart from being a tiny bit more active perhaps, I can't relate it to anything. And I'm not convinced by the activity thing as I'm sure I've been that active in a day before without such a crazy drop in such a short time. I'm also totally freaked out that I didn't feel it - at all.
and d) feeling like no-one really gets how scary it was. All this happened on Thursday - and on Saturday I saw my boyfriend (who lives a 4.5 hr drive away for work - so we only see each other weekends). We're in a committed relationship and hopefully long term relationship - despite our distance in the week - so I was desperate for some support by the time I got to see him. When I did see him it was apparent he didn't really want to talk about it and eventually said he didn't see the point in dwelling on it. Which I kinda get - but it's also kinda hard when I'd just spent two days with no-one to process it over with/give me a hug and say "jeez, what a sh*t day".
So - as I said at the start - I'm not sure what I'm looking to hear: but I'm now back at home (alone again) and left feeling extremely anxious, and not very supported.... I'm worried about how to stop the anxiety really manifest itself (I've had problems with anxiety many years ago - really don't want to go back there), plus I'm aware this could be damaging to my relationship if I start to allow the niggle of not feeling all that supported turn into resentment too....
Sorry for the ridiculously long post - but any tips on how to "let it go" - without turning into a Disney film - would be massively appreciated....