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Unhappy, Not in a good place

Tigger2014

Well-Known Member
Messages
94
Location
Durham
Type of diabetes
Treatment type
Other
Dislikes
Curry
Hi guys, sorry if this is in the wrong place but just wanted to get stuff of my chest. Admin please move to correct section.

12 Feb i was diagnosed with T2 Diabetes, as many of you will know I first joined shortly after and thank you for the support.

I started off at a gallop, I soaked up as much info as I possibly could get, Started testing, made my own spreadsheet to monitor my results, the food I had eaten, my blood pressure, my weight etc. I needed to take control of my new lifestyle.

I watched what I ate, I started on a middle Carb diet, reading every label.

The result showed in my weight loss, although not huge it was showing my good work.

This last week has been horrenduce. I have never felt so low. My black Dog has bitten me big style, I have hit the sweet machine at work with gusto, I test when I can be bothered, I don't bother to note the results, basically I feel like I have given up.

why bother? why go to all the hassle and heartache? whats the rush? the NHS don't seem to be in a rush so why should I? These are questions my MEF (My Evil Friend) says in my peanut brain.

As a buddhist I am supposed to chant twice a day but CBA has set in.

My wife has really made the effort and made my balanced meals, Veg (Yuk) etc. she nags me to test lol

I really cant see how I can have time to work 12 hour nights, get a decent sleep and try to fit some sort of social life AND excercise which the Diabetic nurse wants me to do to reduce weight and my colesterol. there is only 24 hours in the day.

Phew....Didnt intend this to be war and peace sorry.

Basically I'm not in a good place right now.

Cheers

Tigger
 
Always a mistake to go head to head with your evil friend. He can think up more excuses to confound you than anybody and can even give you amnesia. My doctor says that if someone doesn't like doing something then they have forgotten all about it in three weeks. Dr. Briffa thinks it's the reason for yo-yo dieting.

A slower and more considered approach might work. Discover an entirely new meal that you really like but is low in carbs. For me this turned out to be a stir fry. Have that meal once a week and leave out a high carb meal. Find another meal ..........and so on. Keep the sweets to a minimum, enough to stop the pining and maybe have them in a way that doesn't simply add to the meal. Later for example.

Your all out assault on your evil friend has demonstrated just how powerful he is so co-operate with him.

Best of luck.
 
"why bother? why go to all the hassle and heartache? whats the rush? the NHS don't seem to be in a rush so why should I? These are questions my MEF (My Evil Friend) says in my peanut brain."

Hi Tigger, sorry to read you're feeling down but just cos the NHS are in no rush, that's no reason not to take care of yourself. It's your body, your eyesight, your feet etc that could end up damaged ! I'm sure many people fall off the wagon occasionally but you need to pause, re-think and go back to basics !
 
With many conditions where a person feels ill, making the effort to improve usually results in feeling better, it doesn't hurt as much, I find this or that easier than before etc etc. Diabetes though is about avoiding future problems and future damage. It's not so easy recognise the fact that effort is having a positive effect. It is hard to feel good about your meter saying 7.2 rather than 9.1. 'So what? I feel the same' is often the result.

Why not make weight loss your primary aim, to get a new set of leathers or whatever your fancy is. I've rediscovered walking in the mountains and have started with cycling. I've also become very interested in cooking. I don't think so much about what blood sugars are and more about what I want to do this weekend and what I should be buying and cooking. LIfe is just that bit more interesting now and I am starting to look forward to things.
 
Hi Tigger,

You are not alone in feeling like you do.

I would suggest that the realisation that you have a chronic condition has suddenly hit home and deep down you are trying to come to terms with it. You are only a month in Tigger,

To begin with, there is so much information to take in about how to manage diabetes and we tend to read anything and everything we can to try and help ourselves. This sometimes leads to information overload and a feeling of helplessness. How can we cope with this added burden, our lives were sorted and we don't need this. Sometimes people are so stunned that they demand more tests to prove they really have diabetes.

There is a grief process we have to go through to get to the other side to be able to accept diabetes and this article may help you understand where you are now. It explains the 5 stages of grief. I would read through and do hope that it will help you.

http://www.diabetesexplained.com/the-five-stages-of-grief.html
 
Been there, done that Tigger - as has almost everyone on this forum! I lasted about 6mths as a teen then went bananas - it took me years to fully accept and work WITH the condition, making it a 'cared for' part of myself that I loved like it was a helpless child (bit dramatic this, but it's true!! It's all about self esteem really).

When I read about people fighting the enemy diabetes, I really worry... Until it's your friend you can't be at peace with it and get on with life, as one person helpfully says above. My advice would be to take it easy, tackling one small thing at a time, until it eventually becomes second nature. That will happen over time, but it also takes effort and dedication. You WILL get tougher over time and you will be ok. Take care and do something fun that makes you happy today - and every day!


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
I go through similar spells

I have really good control at the moment, but only a few months back I missed 50% of my insulin doses and used to eat everything in sight

Even right now I've lost interest in a lot if stuff I just don't feel right.

Had a lot on my mind, my dog rapidly became Ill and had to be put to sleep a month ago, along with the bad weather, work issues. Doctor issues etc etc

The girl friend has noticed, and keeps asking if I'm ok and the response is always 'yes'

Still the good weather is on its way, blood tests in a few weeks will hopefully show a reduced hba1c and a holiday in a few months



Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
Hi Tigger, dont beat yourself up over this and try not to pay your evil friend any attention.

Coming to terms with this condition can be hard at times but Im sure you will get there.

 
Hi Tigger
i was thinking about giving up with the forum after some silly comments but this was because i was having one of them bad days when the world hates me and i will make sure i will hate them back harder.
i still have mood problems and still say why me.
You will get uses to it.
So now we can say it back to the girl friend Its just our hormones and get ourselfs out of trouble.
Hang in there
good luck
 
Tigger, I can't reply with any better words than these extremely helpful replies the other members have posted for you, so I'll just wish you all the very best of good wishes for overcoming your present thoughts and feelings.
It just cannot be easy for you, but at the end of the day, there's always tomorrow to look forward to.
So let's hope all your tomorrows are good ones.
All the best,

willie
 
 
Hi Tigger,
You are right in one respect, medicine is called the caring profession, but it can certainly feel as if none of the health professionals we encounter actually give a ****.
That's why we have to. If not for ourselves, then for the people who love us and depend on us.
You have an evil friend, Churchill had his black dog - we all have something that makes us feel despair from time to time, but we can't give in to it. I could quite easily turn into a blob on the couch, but the thought of what that would do to my family and friends is what stops me and makes me have a life.
If you really think about it, I'm sure you'll find 101reasons to put the gloves back on and carry on the good fight.
 
Tigger2014 said:
Lol never thought of that cheers

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
Click to expand...
Hey there Tigger! Just adding my support too! I get over it by getting into cooking. Sounds odd but there are some really yummy recipes out there! I now see cooking as a pleasure. I even splashed out on a huge cast iron pan- looks like a paella pan - one of my fave foods before diabetes came along! I allow myself the occasional treat. I don't think anyone can eat meat, fish or veggies all the time! We tried some waffles with diabetic jam (tastes like regular jam) and whipped cream. Unfortunately they contained psyllium husk which is also a laxative (we found this out later) and I can honestly say that I don't think they had time to raise by bs- lol! So what if you fell off the wagon. That's in the past - time to get back on! Take care!
 
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