Was doing so well......

Lainie71 said:

Not sure what I am ranting about to be honest, I just feel I have pushed and pushed myself more with the exercise and diet and its made a mockery of me as I am seeing 10s and I am feeling rather sorry for myself.

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Oh, sounds like you can use a good hug, so please have one from the Netherlands!

Perhaps do some more thinking on medication. If the dermatitis is raising your levels, there's not much you can do about it, but I know from experience that higher levels increase the feeling of ugh. Not only physically but mentally as well!
So perhaps getting some help from medications will make you feel better on all counts.

Lainie71 said:

I am worried my levels have gone skew whiff and the DN will love that I have failed.

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If she loves failure in her patients she should find another job. A DN should be working with you, helping you to find the best way for you to handle your diabetes.

No need to think about it today though. What about curling up on the couch with a blanket, a cup of warm soup or such and watching cat videos or such? Works for me if I feel yuck.

Lainie71 said:

I was doing so well and for the last 4 days have been feeling more down due to contact dermatitis and other things. My bg levels have been gradually increasing and I can only think that it is due to the dermatitis and uncomfortable sleep etc. This morning when I got out of bed I just sat there looking out of the window (with sore underarms lol) and thought is this a fore runner of things to come, because if it is I don't want it! Its taking longer for me to feel better and with my bg levels at 10 my body must be fighting this or something as why else would my levels be higher than normal.
I have contemplated using medication but it goes against the grain for me. I have my 6 months Hba1c in February and I really do not want to have it done. I just don't feel up to it mentally. I am worried my levels have gone skew whiff and the DN will love that I have failed. I have had a really rubbish Christmas & New Year due to previous rubbish Christmas & New Years and to top it all we now have a death of a loved one.
Not sure what I am ranting about to be honest, I just feel I have pushed and pushed myself more with the exercise and diet and its made a mockery of me as I am seeing 10s and I am feeling rather sorry for myself.

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Sending a hug your way @Lainie71. Also you are doing well so try and be kind to yourself this is temporary I’m sure but meanwhile while the storm is passing over you need to take care of you. Re the dermatitis have you got some bland emulsifier or moisturiser that you can put in fridge to chill it and then dab on your skin to help calm it? Also covering the area with an old t shirt after adding emulsifier or moisturiser can help by stopping you scratching in the night? Having a break from exercise may help too as I find if I get sweaty it can irritate the skin.
You need to look after yourself while you weather the storm take care you will be able to look back from a better place if you take care and look at things like how you manage your stress which,for me, is a big raiser of bgs. I use the Headspace app to help me calm and manage my stress but use whatever works for you .

Sending a huge hug, it’s so hard when it all becomes a bit much, just take some time out for yourself January and February are miserable months anyway. I felt a bit down just before Christmas all the shops full of goodies etc the temptation was horrendous, so I took a bit time out had one or two treats over the Christmas and now fully back on track. My DN gives no support either I just feel like she’s reading off a computer screen when talking to me. Give yourself a break and a pat on the back for coming on here and expressing how you feel everyone understands it’s so so hard x

A hug from here too.
No wonder you are feeling down when you are poorly and uncomfortable too boot. Then right at the end you mention a bereavement!
Instead of berating yourself, try being kind to yourself. It's OK to vent and rant and release emotions. Sometimes a good grumble is all its takes. Sometimes a walk in the fresh air helps, or a coffee with friends, or a face pack and nail varnish. Or put on some music from your youth and dance it away.
There's loads of non food related pick me ups. Just keep trying until you find the ones that work for you
As for the old type 2, I see that those of us who have it now are in the forefront of the pandemic that is about to hit 50% of the population, and when it does we will be the ones who are forarmed, informed and leaders. When the rest of the world is reeling in shock and denial and craving bread, we will be the ones saying "follow us".
OK, it may be "spin" but it helps me, hope it helps you too

Have another hug. Sometimes it does feel like everything is just too much, when you have other health problems as well, it's like you just can't win. Don't be hard on yourself (your bg will go higher! ) try & soothe your CD so you can get some rest. You've done really well & as we often read on here, it's a marathon not a sprint. Some things are going to send numbers out of whack, best to just go with it, they will settle again.

And a hug from me too. We often have too high expectations of ourselves and then think we have "failed" but there's no failure in this game, just keeping on keeping on. Too many of us have bad Christmases to look back on (both my parents and my husband's died at Christmas time, for instance) and we get drawn into thinking Christmas should be perfect and happy happy, but it's a difficult time of year even before we add expectations to it.
My DN is a rancid totally unsupportive ignorant character too: that's her problem not mine. She brings out the stubborn in me: I will NOT let her bring me down or sweep aside the huge progress I have made since diagnosis (last September) which is thanks to the help I've had here and my own efforts in following sensible advice from here.

I get terrific support and lots of information from this site, and so can you. Be kind to yourself - you are allowed to be human - we all stumble from time to time, but when the going gets tough, WE are the tough who get going.

Lainie71 said:

I was doing so well and for the last 4 days have been feeling more down due to contact dermatitis and other things. My bg levels have been gradually increasing and I can only think that it is due to the dermatitis and uncomfortable sleep etc. This morning when I got out of bed I just sat there looking out of the window (with sore underarms lol) and thought is this a fore runner of things to come, because if it is I don't want it! Its taking longer for me to feel better and with my bg levels at 10 my body must be fighting this or something as why else would my levels be higher than normal.
I have contemplated using medication but it goes against the grain for me. I have my 6 months Hba1c in February and I really do not want to have it done. I just don't feel up to it mentally. I am worried my levels have gone skew whiff and the DN will love that I have failed. I have had a really rubbish Christmas & New Year due to previous rubbish Christmas & New Years and to top it all we now have a death of a loved one.
Not sure what I am ranting about to be honest, I just feel I have pushed and pushed myself more with the exercise and diet and its made a mockery of me as I am seeing 10s and I am feeling rather sorry for myself.

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Awww this is just the result of your body not being well right now, and affecting your overall mood. I have so been where you are right now @lainey and it WILL get better with time and patience. It's just your low mood telling you it won't xx Give yourself some slack for the next couple of weeks and wait for your body to heal itself, as it surely will given the way you have cared for it pre-illness. Find a distraction if you can and forget about testing if that multiplies your misery, especially in the mornings when you know it will be high. We can all relate to low times xx

I had high levels back in January think 11/12/13 and I was terrified my HBA1c would be too high but I actually got a reading of 48 probably because my high readings were blips from times of ill health and stress. Have you been back to a GP or specialist for your dermatitis to see if there is anything else they can offer you? As others have said don't be too hard on yourself, we are all human after all

And another hug for me - and a bit more reassurance! You'll find over time - however well you're normally able to manage your glucose levels- that here'll probably be other occasions when they end up higher because you're in pain, ill, or need meds that may raise your glucose for a while - but they should go back down again afterwards. So if you need medication to help with issues such as the dermatitis, there's no failure in that - and it may well be better than suffering and getting stressed out which won't be helping you at all. Have a look at my bouncy bouncy HBA1c result in my signature - all the slightly higher ones correspond with some of those issues I mentioned.

And remember - your purpose in testing is NOT to gain your DN's approval with "good" HbA1c results, it is to manage your glucose levels to the best of your ability and if she doesn't like your
results, then that's HER problem, and not yours. I've been fortunate in that I've had support from the word go from both my GP and my previous, now retired DN. New DN however is a bit of a dozy madam, and at my last review after discussing my results and the benefits of low carb diets, came out with the inane question: "But have you considered gastric bypass surgery?" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but no way could I take her seriously.

Pleased for you, @Lainie71, good that it is lessening. I have psoriasis so know a bit of how you would have been feeling. Love your hubby's comment.

Good to hear that things are improving. Well done!