Type 1 Was there ever a time you felt unworthy of love......?

[Stickyflan]

First off sorry for the length and super sorry if this is quite out of place here or if I’m imposing. I felt compelled to make an account just to ask this. I just didn’t know where else to turn. I’ve spent countless moments looking into the effects of diabetes on the mind , what life entails with it and extensively arming myself with info. I’ve learned a lot but human advice beats out articles.

Guys....I just really need any insight or help :•( Any clarity offered would be eternally appreciate beyond measure.

I was dating this 21 year old male with type 1 diabetes and we had the saddest break up after I flown out to see him alone for the first time. Ended up having to stay over night in the hospital a few days with him after he had a diabetic ketoacidosis attack. He vomited in front of me continuously ( crying saying how I never would have wanted anyone to see me like this especially you and how he ruined the trip) and got embarrassed by it, plus when we met up months later on a video game trip with friends he told to me that after I left to the airport he went upstairs to his apartment and said “ this is where we should have hung out, not a hospital”. Sorry if this is TMI but whenever we tried to be intimate for his first time he got upset cause he found it difficult to get hard , he had said “I really want to but it’s like my body won’t let me” super frustrated. The month before he had appendicitis so he had scars that were healing as well that hurt him. When we were in the hospital he said diabetes has ruined so much for him and he just struggles with taking care of himself with ordering take out so much.
I had ordered him a diabetic cook book to try to help yet I don’t know if he even uses it but I wanted to do something. I was willing to be by his side for the rides. Not matter what. Both ups and downs in accordance to his diabetes. He suffers from depression and high anxiety. We had a big sad fight in December which all just ties into him pushing away people and being closed off....we haven’t spoken since.

I cry and cry. It’s too much in wondering what he goes through.

I truly love/loved him with all my heart and wanted to continuously support him with all I am. I just need even a little glimpse of perspective. I just please please ask anyone, especially a male, how diabetes effected your view on involving another person romantically. Or if there was a time you felt unworthy of love because you didn’t want to put someone else through the process. Thank you guys.

 

[Jaylee]

First off sorry for the length and super sorry if this is quite out of place here or if I’m imposing. I felt compelled to make an account just to ask this. I just didn’t know where else to turn. I’ve spent countless moments looking into the effects of diabetes on the mind , what life entails with it and extensively arming myself with info. I’ve learned a lot but human advice beats out articles.

Guys....I just really need any insight or help :•( Any clarity offered would be eternally appreciate beyond measure.

I was dating this 21 year old male with type 1 diabetes and we had the saddest break up after I flown out to see him alone for the first time. Ended up having to stay over night in the hospital a few days with him after he had a diabetic ketoacidosis attack. He vomited in front of me continuously ( crying saying how I never would have wanted anyone to see me like this especially you and how he ruined the trip) and got embarrassed by it, plus when we met up months later on a video game trip with friends he told to me that after I left to the airport he went upstairs to his apartment and said “ this is where we should have hung out, not a hospital”. Sorry if this is TMI but whenever we tried to be intimate for his first time he got upset cause he found it difficult to get hard , he had said “I really want to but it’s like my body won’t let me” super frustrated. The month before he had appendicitis so he had scars that were healing as well that hurt him. When we were in the hospital he said diabetes has ruined so much for him and he just struggles with taking care of himself with ordering take out so much.
I had ordered him a diabetic cook book to try to help yet I don’t know if he even uses it but I wanted to do something. I was willing to be by his side for the rides. Not matter what. Both ups and downs in accordance to his diabetes. He suffers from depression and high anxiety. We had a big sad fight in December which all just ties into him pushing away people and being closed off....we haven’t spoken since.

I cry and cry. It’s too much in wondering what he goes through.

I truly love/loved him with all my heart and wanted to continuously support him with all I am. I just need even a little glimpse of perspective. I just please please ask anyone, especially a male, how diabetes effected your view on involving another person romantically. Or if there was a time you felt unworthy of love because you didn’t want to put someone else through the process. Thank you guys.

Hi,

Wow. That is a tragic story.

I've never felt unworthy of love. But then it has to be mutual chemistry. (It has to be a 2 way street?) Some girls in the past never quite rocked my world. i wish em well..

But one eventually did & we. live happily ever after..

So, your guy? sounds to me like his diabetes management is not the best place? Prolonged high sugar levels could do this to a fellow. If mine have gone a little wayward it all can feel a bit "inappropriate" even if it's "i wanna hold hands."

But to be frank, i hooked up & dated more traditionally.

You met this guy online, personal safety in such exercises is paramount, your overnight stay in hospital was supporting him.
I feel if your chap at the age of 21 has hit this point with his health? He needs professional health team help.
& possibly to chat with fellow T1s like you are doing here right now..

Best wishes.

 

[Stickyflan]

Sometimes I get really sad since I would have dealt with whatever cause I really wanted to be there. I loved him deeply. I wish he would have gone to therapy as he told me he would. All I ever wanted was for him to get the best help possible for himself. I pray that he has people nearby to help him even if I’m not in his life anymore. A lot of what you are saying explains some of his behavior patterns over our course of talking.

Thank you for taking the time to offer insight and for even replying I really appreciate it a lot. It helped. Please take care!