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What a nurse told my child about me having T2...

AloeSvea

AloeSvea

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,291
Location
Aotearoa/New Zealand
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Other
I'm pretty upset. My young adult daughter went to the student health clinic recently at her university. After having her blood pressure tested, the practice nurse there said it was a bit high, so wanted to know if there was any chronic condition or whatever in her family. My daughter told them about my having T2. "It's good she got a wake-up call", said the nurse.

A wake up call? ***! T2 diabetes is a wake up call? It's GOOD that I have it??!!!

BTW - I would see prediabetes/rising BG levels that I could lower before my liver and pancreas tipped over into being a whole other level of rooted - perhaps - as a 'wake up call'. But not me being diagnosed with an HBA1c of 93! That took everything I have to bring it down. That's just plain cruel to see that as good!

My daughter is a very thoughtful person, and said "You know how it is Mum - that is the discourse on diabetes - it's about personal responsibility and the idea is you are responsible for getting T2. I know it's f*****." (Sorry about the reported swearing. But emotions were high.)

You know - I find dealing with this stuff bad enough - but I am particularly upset - and feel helpless - when people say this to my child. I'm her mother! Aren't folk supposed to be - you know - respectful of that relationship? Of course my daughter has suffered for me having T2 already. (She suffers for me of course, and doesn't want me to die too early - even more natural. Me having T2 is an emotional subject for her.) How dare they hurt her more by saying this constant and difficult and upsetting aspect of our lives is good??!!

I see the idea of it being good to get T2 is the idea it is some kind of punishment for being a bad - read - a fat! and inactive - person. That you are then supposed to - just not be. And then - atone for past sins? The only way it is good to get T2 is if it is something T2s deserve. An actual medical professional actually believes it is OK to say that about somebody's mother? Obviously! And - how dare they?!
 
If you are that annoyed, you could report her to the university!

It is another in the long line of misinformed and ignorant members of the uneducated health care system!

In my opinion, I would hold her in the contempt she deserves and send a note via your daughter, asking her to explain her opinions in writing!

You never know, you might get an apology!

Do pigs fly where you live?
 
Maybe she meant it was good that you had actually been diagnosed? Many people have Type 2 for many years before they are diagnosed. This is a big problem as during that time they can be developing complications because they are unaware of the risks associated with the disease. It is better to be a diagnosed Type 2 than an undiagnosed Type 2 because you have the opportunity to reduce your risk by changing your lifestyle.

That's not saying that you caused your disease or should be blamed for developing it, it's saying that you may be able to compensate to some extent for being unlucky with your genes by changing your diet and exercise.
 
It's very nice and very gratifying to get such responses! Hugs, rainbows and medals - and calls to action! All good for me. Thank you all. It will be nice to pass such on to my daughter! We feel so protective towards our children - even when they are adult. I hate to think of her getting that T2 bashing stuff because of me.

Understood about pigs and flying @nosher8355. Quite right. And I'm thinking about a letter to the student health clinic... a good idea. Fighting the good fight! (And it makes me feel less helpless.)
 
That would be a very nice if that is what she meant @Dark Horse, I agree - but alas - body language/voice tone stuff seemed to indicate it was more the scolding kind of 'good'! Not the good I got my T2 in time (which I didn't - alas).

I've had insulin resistance for decades - close to 30 years before my own body tipped over into massive blood glucose problems. But I, like many, never heard those words 'insulin resistance' even whispered. I don't think my wonderful doctor had heard those words either! Nor metabolic syndrome. In fact I'm quite sure she hadn't. So of course she couldn't pass on info to me she didn't know herself. Sadly! (Who did? Except some very learned few?)

I don't think I am unlucky with my genes (beauty, brains, and great muscles ;) :D ;););););):) ) - I think I am unlucky with the food environment I was raised in, and particularly as an adult, with not a clue in the world what those excessive carbs were doing to me! (But I do realise you say that to be kind! About the genes. And kindness is good.) In that you are quite right - that kind of 'wake up call' - to get a diagnosis before it gets even worse - is good for sure.
 
AloeSvea said:
It's very nice and very gratifying to get such responses! Hugs, rainbows and medals - and calls to action! All good for me. Thank you all. It will be nice to pass such on to my daughter! We feel so protective towards our children - even when they are adult. I hate to think of her getting that T2 bashing stuff because of me.

Understood about pigs and flying @nosher8355. Quite right. And I'm thinking about a letter to the student health clinic... a good idea. Fighting the good fight! (And it makes me feel less helpless.)
Click to expand...

What you call the 'wake up' is colloquially referred to around here as the 'gypsys warning'! I got that from a lot of my health care team before I got my misdiagnosis.
A good job a lot of them had left the surgery before I got my real diagnosis.
I haven't been really angry, but to say I was pleased to prove them wrong about my diet, treatment and the bs I got from them. I like going in for my yearly assessments!
 
Well, I'm not the recipient of it so I can be cool and collected, and examine the theory. If it had happened to me personally, I'd be p*ssed! By the way, that's a very smart daughter you have there, and I think she's hit the nail on the head. There is the assumption that it's caused by lifestyle, so if you change your ways, it will prevent heart attacks, strokes, amputations etc. You know that they think that a good low calorie, lots of fruit and veg, low fat diet will save you from a worse fate. That what they THINK, but we KNOW different.
But..think on it like this. Would you have realised what damage carbs could do without your diagnosis? Would you even have believed that advice to eat saturated fats could be beneficial? Maybe you would, but I doubt it (apols if I'm wrong) so in a way, it WAS a wake up call - you have been able to change to a different way of eating, a more natural way!

Might be worthwhile telling them you found it upsetting, but I would take your cue from your girl - if she hasn't let it get to her, and she's the one you're bothered about, let it go. Maybe your daughter might see this nurse again and put her right;)
 
Many thanks re my daughter being smart @ladybird64 - yes, she is the light of my life the way our children can be. (Mr Svea too of course! ;) :).) She was upset, so am pleased she talked to me about it. And re about me letting it go - good advice - but as Mr Svea would say - I can hold a grudge till it dies of old age, and even then I send it to a taxidermist to get it stuffed and mounted :D. I'm more likely to write a letter in order to - mount it saved as a document in my computer!:).

Understood and agreed re the wake up call re carbs and low fat and the damage. But I would have preferred to have just read it in the paper! ;).
 
AloeSvea said:
Many thanks re my daughter being smart @ladybird64 - yes, she is the light of my life the way our children can be. (Mr Svea too of course! ;) :).) She was upset, so am pleased she talked to me about it. And re about me letting it go - good advice - but as Mr Svea would say - I can hold a grudge till it dies of old age, and even then I send it to a taxidermist to get it stuffed and mounted :D. I'm more likely to write a letter in order to - mount it saved as a document in my computer!:).

Understood and agreed re the wake up call re carbs and low fat and the damage. But I would have preferred to have just read it in the paper! ;).
Click to expand...

Don't get me wrong AS, I can give the advice but also know what I would've done! I love the "grudge" phrase, and as someone who also excels in grudge holding, I shall use it regularly:D
 
Shame on that nurse. So "It's good she got a wake-up call" means she thinks your daughter has a mother that couldn't take care of herself? For a nurse she sounds a bit dense. Surely she would know that type 2 has several precursors and lifestyle is only one of those precursors that people may or may not have along with usually a number of other precursors. It does make me angry when people assume type 2 is a lifestyle disease. I recently got a reply from Diabetes Australia confirming that only up to 58% of people diagnosed with type 2 have lifestyle as a precursor.... so the other 42% get ignored of course. ugh. We're not all fatties you know.. stupid people out there. I've gained weight recently thanks to medications. My family had this discussion with me several years back telling me that the media says that type 2 is a lifestyle disease so why else would you be diabetic? I full on blasted them and finally told them I have a hormone condition that predisposed me to it (more than 50% of pcos patients get type 2 by the age of 40). So anyhow later on one of those ignorant family members got herself diagnosed with gestational diabetes.... well she came to me and apologised for her ignorant comment that night (and she was nasty). She said her doc explained all about the precursors and how she is now at high risk because she has gestational diabetes and also diabetes runs in her family. The medical profession should know better than to make such crude remarks to people (unfortunately a lot of nurses I've met have done so). I'm sorry this happened to your daughter. I would think it is a good idea to write a letter of complaint and see what they say in response.
 
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@AloeSvea very soon you will be able to make a point of your daughter informing said nurse of how out of date her training is and your please she's had a wake up call about diabetes in 2016. Enjoy!
 
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