I'm way behind again and doing well (if somewhat knackered).
Thursday was my last day of work on the ship, when we moved it to a new place just a little too far away for regular work.
This weekend neighbour Tale and I drove all the way to the other end of the country (3.5 hours to cross from the far north to the far south) for an amazing party in the garden of my cousin.
Food, a band, a DJ, and enough alcohol to participate in some karaoke, followed by a night in a tent on a narrow mattress between goats, pigs and ducks, all perfect!
In the mean time, our mutual friend (the one I swim with and he's in love with, if you remember) texted us because she needed a place to stay for the night, away from her troubles at home. It's starting to look like her husband and father of their teenage children has now crossed the line between being somewhat obsessed to mild psychosis, but it has been such a slow process that she's half believing the things he says about her.
I'm very happy she had her break, we both of course replied that yes, she could use any bed she chose and eat whatever is in any of our fridges.
So upon returning late afternoon yesterday with a hangover and little sleep, we had a long session of talking before finally going to bed.
More talking happened today, this time with her eldest daughter (19) included. She had cooked for us after a swim and we had a couple of beers. I hope that whatever we're doing is helping her, it's such a nasty situation.
For myself, I fear the sleepovers with my neighbour won't be happening anytime soon, our friend spent the night with him last night, which almost certainly got the fire of him being in love with her roaring again, and I don't think he'll be comfortable with me in his bed for now.
Which is ok, but I don't have to like it.
Working on this ship for two months was something of an experiment to see how I would deal with regular work for some 20 hours a week after years of only doing very short time jobs and dealing with depression/anxiety.
With the depression having unexplainably lifted from early februari and suddenly being bored now keeping my sanity wasn't a full job anymore, doing some unofficial work to see how things progressed was a very good move. It kept me busy, I felt useful, I've learnt I do pretty well now when working.
Four months on, and I still feel good, so I'm going to try with a 'real' job!
Motivation letter written today, resumé as well (managed no lies while also managing to more or less hide some 10 years of only the very occasional work), 4 friends with different backgrounds read and approved.
Never in history has so much sweat and stress been put into a job application letter and resumé for a job needing no previous experience and no education.
It'll be sent in tomorrow.
I have no idea what's more scary, getting or not getting the job. I have absolutely no idea if I'm physically up for it, I have no idea if I'll like the job, but I'll never know if I don't try.
During the past two months I found I feel better mentally and physically working outside and doing sometimes heavy work. That pesky herniated disk in my neck is still giving me trouble, but all in all, my back is doing much better.
Not sure what it's called in English, but the job is 'bouwopruimer' (16-24 hours a week).
A bouwopruimer is the person who places fences around a building site, makes sure no stuff is laying about causing dangerous situations, generally helps all workers on a building site with whatever they need help with.
I'm hoping my brains will make up for not being 23 years old, thin and well trained, and male...
If this one doesn't work out, I have found another job offer which could be a reasonable match, but one letter a day is enough!
Wish me luck, I'm very much scared ********.
Thursday was my last day of work on the ship, when we moved it to a new place just a little too far away for regular work.
This weekend neighbour Tale and I drove all the way to the other end of the country (3.5 hours to cross from the far north to the far south) for an amazing party in the garden of my cousin.
Food, a band, a DJ, and enough alcohol to participate in some karaoke, followed by a night in a tent on a narrow mattress between goats, pigs and ducks, all perfect!
In the mean time, our mutual friend (the one I swim with and he's in love with, if you remember) texted us because she needed a place to stay for the night, away from her troubles at home. It's starting to look like her husband and father of their teenage children has now crossed the line between being somewhat obsessed to mild psychosis, but it has been such a slow process that she's half believing the things he says about her.
I'm very happy she had her break, we both of course replied that yes, she could use any bed she chose and eat whatever is in any of our fridges.
So upon returning late afternoon yesterday with a hangover and little sleep, we had a long session of talking before finally going to bed.
More talking happened today, this time with her eldest daughter (19) included. She had cooked for us after a swim and we had a couple of beers. I hope that whatever we're doing is helping her, it's such a nasty situation.
For myself, I fear the sleepovers with my neighbour won't be happening anytime soon, our friend spent the night with him last night, which almost certainly got the fire of him being in love with her roaring again, and I don't think he'll be comfortable with me in his bed for now.
Which is ok, but I don't have to like it.
Working on this ship for two months was something of an experiment to see how I would deal with regular work for some 20 hours a week after years of only doing very short time jobs and dealing with depression/anxiety.
With the depression having unexplainably lifted from early februari and suddenly being bored now keeping my sanity wasn't a full job anymore, doing some unofficial work to see how things progressed was a very good move. It kept me busy, I felt useful, I've learnt I do pretty well now when working.
Four months on, and I still feel good, so I'm going to try with a 'real' job!
Motivation letter written today, resumé as well (managed no lies while also managing to more or less hide some 10 years of only the very occasional work), 4 friends with different backgrounds read and approved.
Never in history has so much sweat and stress been put into a job application letter and resumé for a job needing no previous experience and no education.
It'll be sent in tomorrow.
I have no idea what's more scary, getting or not getting the job. I have absolutely no idea if I'm physically up for it, I have no idea if I'll like the job, but I'll never know if I don't try.
During the past two months I found I feel better mentally and physically working outside and doing sometimes heavy work. That pesky herniated disk in my neck is still giving me trouble, but all in all, my back is doing much better.
Not sure what it's called in English, but the job is 'bouwopruimer' (16-24 hours a week).
A bouwopruimer is the person who places fences around a building site, makes sure no stuff is laying about causing dangerous situations, generally helps all workers on a building site with whatever they need help with.
I'm hoping my brains will make up for not being 23 years old, thin and well trained, and male...
If this one doesn't work out, I have found another job offer which could be a reasonable match, but one letter a day is enough!
Wish me luck, I'm very much scared ********.