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What support from partners would have been helpful or was helpful after diagnosis?

I

isjoberg

Well-Known Member
Messages
268
Type of diabetes
Type 1
hi all,

My boyfriend is going for a blood test this Friday as he is concerned that he may have diabetes t2, especially as his family has really high rates of t2. I was wondering if anyone had any advice to give re supporting someone on diagnosis? As a t1 I've got to admit I know very little about t2 and what would be useful
 
The best advice the wife gave me was ... its not going to be as bad as the leaflets say .. its going to be a new learning curve .. new foods .. a new way of living. Also send him over to the forums here .. he can ask all the questions to people who can clearly remember when they were first told they had T2
 
Are you the cook and shopper in the family? If so, you can support him by making sure he is eating a diet suitable for T2s and that means reduced carbs. Diet is the key to controlling T2 blood sugars, not meds, and depending on his HbA1c he may not even have any meds to begin with. You will have to remember that he won't have injected insulin to keep his levels down - he will have to rely on the insulin his own pancreas produces, and this may be insufficient to combat a lot of carbs, or he may be insulin resistant. This means he is producing sufficient insulin but his cells have become resistant to it so it isn't working properly.

A very important thing is to get him his own glucose meter and strips because unless he is VERY lucky his GP won't prescribe him one. He can then test out his meals to see what effect they are having and tweak the carbs next time he has a similar meal.

Fingers crossed his suspicions are not confirmed and that he gets a clean bill of health. :)
 
This is all very helpful! I know for me exercise increases my insulin sensitivity, does that also happen with t2?
 
The biggest problem we (Mr B and I) had was that he couldn't see any symptoms of D in me.
So he didn't take it seriously, and kept saying things like 'well, it isn't like you really have D, is it?'
or 'of course you can eat that'
or 'go on, have some pudding, I don't want to eat alone'

Admittedly, he didn't actually know what D looked like, but he never saw me being 'ill'.
Tired most of the time? Yes.
Sleepy after meals? Yes.
Ravenously hungry and craving carbs? Yes.
Reluctant to do exercise because of lethargy and body aches? Yes.
Getting up 2-3 times a night to go to the bathroom? Yes.

But none of those actually look ill, do they? They look tired and kind of lazy, but not ILL.

It took me getting a meter and stabbing BOTH of us for comparison testing (him 6.6, me 15+ mmol/l after the same carby meal) before he got his head around it.

Plus of course he saw my transformation into an awake, alert and reasonable energetic dog walker - when I went very low carb. But he would still very much like me to enjoy the bread, cakes and puddings that he loves so much... and I can't.
:)
 
Hugs and reassurance are a great start, plus supporting your partner in whatever he feels he needs to do to get his numbers down.

When my husband was diagnosed T2 16 years ago, I probably wasn't very good - I fussed over him a bit too much until he told me to butt out. Fast forward to August this year, and I was diagnosed T2 as well seemingly out of the blue. It was only when I started feeling better that I realised I'd spent most of the spring and summer feeling chronically tired - and panicky if I was nowhere near a tap or a water cooler! Husband was an absolute rock! He agreed it was a **** thing to find out, acknowledged my anger and upset, and reassured me it wasn't the end of the world and offered to help me in any way he could. He even told me which doctor to avoid at our GP surgery!

Around the time I was diagnosed he was somewhat burnt out and angry, and resigning himself to the fact that he may end up taking insulin. Once I started on LCHF and reading into T2 his interest was piqued and he's now managing his own diabetes far better. His last HbA1C is down and he is cutting down his meds. Ultimately my diagnosis has benefited us both.
 
When we go out for supper my Husband always makes sure that there's something on the menu that I can enjoy before we go.:)
He also never makes any comment when I decide to have something to eat that I know is not great for me.
Over the years when I was so tired I couldn't do much more then work and come home and sit on the couch because I was so tired and my body ached,he just did all the extras to keep our household running with out commenting negatively.
He loves and loved me no matter how much weight I gained and how sad I was.
And now when I keep commenting on how great it is to be feeling energetic and healthy, he never gets tired of hearing about it.;)
 
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Hi,
I was diagnosed only 6 weeks ago, so I'm probably inexperienced at this but when your diagnosed you go through a whole range of emotions; Why me and anger, disbelief that's it has happened, I was and still am struggling to get my head around it all. Theres so much information and its hard to take it all on board. I'd suggest you brush up on the Info yourself so you can help him through it all, give lots of hugs, be sympathetic and if your offered puddings etc in front of him politely decline so he dosen't feel alone in all of this. Also, get him to join the forum the support and advise on here is brilliant, everyone is so friendly and welcoming. If he decides to go on the LCHF diet maybe join in, its a healthy diet anyway and you may get to enjoy it to.
MaggieMagpie
 
All I really want from my hubby is to listen to me. I know it is not his problem but as I learn and figure out what I need to do, I need someone to listen and someone to bounce ideas off of. Seems like a small thing but it is huge.
 
Well my partner really don't do anything for me at the start she said no more crisps or biscuits for you ! It's been 3 years since I was diagnosed and when I was I was 113 my hbA1c and Over 12 months got it down to normal reading of 35/40 and believe me I was strict over Christmas I never had any chocolate/ crisps/ roasters on my xmas dinner sweets absolutely nothing, but I did it all myself I had no help at all , my missus believes now I'm not diabetic and I should eat whatever , even though I still get really tired and I sleep a lot I still drink lots of water go the toilet lots , my latest few readings have been high 9 yesterday and 8.5 day before ! And if you went into our cupboards and fridge you wouldn't believe a diabetic lived in the house as my missus buys so many sweets and crisps junk food and puts it in my view it's always tempting for me to just pick at it !!! I would never tell my missus to not eat anything as she isn't diabetic but I don't like that it's there in my view every time I go into the fridge over the last 6 months I have found it more and more hard to stick to what I should eat and what I shouldn't !! I feel so low I wish I could just give up sometimes
 
I'm lucky, Mr G was hugely supportive and helped me research and even joined in when I went low carb. but mainly he was there, prepared to listen and to encourage me to learn and adapt.
I was constantly tired, just worked, ate and slept before diagnosis and he was concerned about me so he's been there every step of the way and seen both sides.
 
b34 blues said:
Well my partner really don't do anything for me at the start she said no more crisps or biscuits for you ! It's been 3 years since I was diagnosed and when I was I was 113 my hbA1c and Over 12 months got it down to normal reading of 35/40 and believe me I was strict over Christmas I never had any chocolate/ crisps/ roasters on my xmas dinner sweets absolutely nothing, but I did it all myself I had no help at all , my missus believes now I'm not diabetic and I should eat whatever , even though I still get really tired and I sleep a lot I still drink lots of water go the toilet lots , my latest few readings have been high 9 yesterday and 8.5 day before ! And if you went into our cupboards and fridge you wouldn't believe a diabetic lived in the house as my missus buys so many sweets and crisps junk food and puts it in my view it's always tempting for me to just pick at it !!! I would never tell my missus to not eat anything as she isn't diabetic but I don't like that it's there in my view every time I go into the fridge over the last 6 months I have found it more and more hard to stick to what I should eat and what I shouldn't !! I feel so low I wish I could just give up sometimes
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Hi b34 blues, so sorry to read that you're feeling down. Whenever you feel like giving up, just come onto the forum here; you'll find plenty of support and help to give you the encouragement to keep on track. Use the 'scream' thread to let off steam - or take a look through the success stories; they could give you renewed incentive. Might be worth showing her some of the discussions about 'reversing', 'curing', 'controlling' diabetes; to reinforce that once a diabetic, always a diabetic. (put something like "can type 2 diabetes be cured" into the search box and you'll get a whole string of threads to chose from), so you're not cured, and if you go back to eating the way you did, then your BS numbers will climb again.

It would be such a shame for you to waste all that hard work and effort (and superman willpower!) by slipping back to eating stuff that is wrong for you, so just hang on in there.
 
Just listening and understanding. I was diagnosed 2 months ago at 38, not overweight, exercise regularly so shocked was not the word. My husband has been amazing by just being there, letting me rant now and again
 
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