Why ashamed ?

Although I have never felt ashamed it can be a little bit uncomfortable sometimes... for instance doing blood glucose tests or injecting in public you can get a negative reaction..

Also diabetes can be seen as a disease of 'fat' people... I have herd the term fattybetic used on more than a few occasions.. and although weight gain is often a symptom of diabetes and not necessarily the cause the general public are not always so well informed.

Also I guess being different can generally be uncomfortable.. a lot of people these days spend a lot of money trying to conform to social norms... I can imagine that if you are one of these people then being different can be quite awkward.

As a Type 2, I was reluctant to let people know that I am a diabetic at the beginning. It is all to do with comments in the media about how fat and stupid we are and that we brought it on ourselves ....

Remember, although 80% of T2s are overweight at diagnosis, 80% of overweight people AREN'T diabetic.

The overweight thing has been firmly entrenched for some years now hasn't it? I remember when I was diagnosed 5 years ago everyoneI told ,without exception, exclaimed "But you're not overweight"!

I almost felt as though I should apologise for not living up to the stereotype. I someimes think it is all part of a cunning plan for downgrading the condition by makig it appear to be the result of life style choices.

"Let them NOT eat cake"

Even if you are overweight and feel ashamed of your diabetes you can do something about it, make yourself proud of overcoming it. Those who belittle sufferers are unlikely to be able to do anything about their ignorance and lack of common decency-come on overcome this we're better than those idiots!

I wasn't ashamed when I was diagnosed, but I was exceedingly cross with myself for letting myself get so overweight and unhealthy to the point where I had endangered my own life. Then I was relieved because it was a condition that I could take control of myself. My thought was 'You've got yourself into this mess and now you've got to get yourself out of it'.

The way it was explained to me is that we are all born with a certain amount of insulin in our bodies. Once we use that insulin up we become diabetic and it does not matter if we are thin or fat, once that insulin has been used, it has been used.

I am now finding that several of my friends have also become diabetic and seem to have a greater understanding of it. The older I get the more diabetic people I seem to encounter. I just wished mine had been picked up far earlier than it had been, because I might not have the complications I now have.

I am not ashamed about being diabetic but I think when you tell people they then see you in a different light. As other posts confirm that eg, the gym post about not being able to join because they were diabetic. I'm sorry but I wouldn't be having someone tell me I couldn't do it just because I'm diabetic. I wouldn't tell my employer or at an interview because then I think you will have zero chance of getting the job. I used to work in a department store and another assistant accidentally found out I was diabetic. If I was ill she would put it down to diabetes obviously it wasn't. She used to ask if I need a drink, snack or a break. It was frustratingly annoying so I thought then I would never tell another person.

mistee71 said:

I've read on hear a few times that people feel ashamed about being diabetic and hide it from others. WHY ? What is it that you think others could posibly think? It's not a dirty disease or anything like that and you cant catch it so can somebody explain this to me. In my opinion it's no different than having to wear glasses or an hearing aid. It's just part of your life. I dont mean to speak lightly of it. It can be a killer but it shouldn't stop anybody doing anything they know they can do. Your in controll not the other way round ( in most cases ) life is for living.

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It all depends.............

If people told you that you drove too fast, you really knew that you drove too fast, then you crashed your car you might well be ashamed to admit that you had done so.
You knew you had been irresponsible, and it is embarrasing to admit it.

Equally, if you knew you were abusing your health and were at risk of developing diabetes but didn't modify your behaviour you might justifiably feel embarrased that you had done something silly.

However, after a while you accept it and move on.
"Wrote my car off last year, I was a pillock. Now my insurance is costing me an arm and a leg."
No longer hiding it, it is just something that happened and you are now dealing with.

So you can be ashamed and embarrased if you know you are doing something stupid that you could stop if you really tried, but having a chronic disease is no a reason to hide it.
Nobody should use it as an excuse not to do something positive - oh, I can't walk that far because I'm diabetic.
Nobody should conceal it if it prevents them doing something negative - sorry, I can't eat that because I am diabetic. Thanks for offering though.

I agree the main issue is that there is an assumption that if you have diabetes it is your fault because you have been bad and are a stupid fat person.
However if people speak out and aren't ashamed then I do not think that they will be picked on.
If you can talk about the positive things you are doing people will be interested (then eventually bored :lolno: ) and you will wonder why you worried.

Bottom line - accept it, deal with it, move on and don't hide it.
There are an awful lot of us out there!

Wouldn't it be bizzarre if people were comfortable admiting they were gay, but not that they were diabetic?

Cheers

LGC

I completely own my diabetes. I love it for its anecdote value. I'll bore the ears off anyone who will listen to me about "the evil of carbohydrates".

I couldn't give a monkey's if anyone else thinks that I did it to myself, in fact I often tell people that I broke my pancreas through abusing Red Bull and Relentless (which probably isn't true, but it adds to the magic of the story).

I'd never be defined by anyone else. If anyone judges me, then I make sure that they do so on the dedication with which I've tackled my condition with low-carbing and running.

In my opinion you should stop worrying about what other people think of you, and concentrate on becoming the person that you want to be.

LittleGreyCat said:

Wouldn't it be bizzarre if people were comfortable admiting they were gay, but not that they were diabetic?

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Ummm. I don't think that anyone should be ashamed of diabetes, but I am absolutely certain that no-one should be ashamed of their sexuality.

I've heard the term S.I.D (Self Inflicted Diabetes) used by some to describe type 2. Suggest to these same people that it might be an underlying metabolic condition which leads to the lack of energy, hunger and weight gain, and they just look at you blankly.

I guess it just highlights the difference between knowing about something, and actually understanding it (or at least trying to).

"Fattybetic"? "Self Inflicted Diabetes"? Wow, there are some HARSH people out there. :***:

Mind you, I'm angry with myself that after losing a lot of weight I let it pile back on and forgot about all the pre-diabetic warnings I've had over the years... But, yanno, it's my job to kick my own bum, not somebody else's.

I've told everyone I'm diabetic. I've got such a big gob and poor self control that if you met me at a bus stop you'd know all about every aspect of my private life before the bus came. So... No guilty secrets for me.

mistee71 said:

I've read on hear a few times that people feel ashamed about being diabetic and hide it from others. WHY ? What is it that you think others could posibly think?

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My attitude too mistee, like Glados I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and will bore anyone who will listen to my life history given half a chance, I would never get embarrassed by telling anyone anything about me nor would I judge anyone else for any confidence they chose to share with me.

I'm diabetic and have degenerative arthritis and lung disease, get over it - I have :thumbup: Apart from a bit of a limp I look completely normal what ever normal is :lol:

borofergie said:

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LittleGreyCat said:

Wouldn't it be bizzarre if people were comfortable admiting they were gay, but not that they were diabetic?

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Ummm. I don't think that anyone should be ashamed of diabetes, but I am absolutely certain that no-one should be ashamed of their sexuality.

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Please note that I was not saying that people should be ashamed at their sexuality.
Just trying to point out that if something which was criminalised as recently as the 1960s and has been the subject of enormous battles to gain acceptability and lack of guilt is now seen as more 'acceptable' than diabetes this would be truly bizzarre.

Sort of:

"Mum, Dad - I'm gay."
"Son, we already know - and we still love you."

"Mum, Dad - I'm diabetic."
"You stupid fat bloater this is all your fault! Haven't I been telling you for years that you'll end up diabetic? How could you do this to us????"

Which sadly (having seen some of the distressed posts from newbies on the site over the years) may be remarkably close to the truth in some cases.

We should not be ashamed to be diabetic, nor conceal that we are.

Some opinion formers should think a bit more before they stigmatize.

Will we one day be taking part is a "Diabetes Pride" march?
Thinking about it, that might not be a bad idea. 8)
Other pressure groups have established themselves as a political force e.g. the 'grey' vote.
My feeling is that diabetics are generally ignored because they aren't seen as a cohesive group able to apply political pressure, but instead just as a growing threat to the NHS finances as more and more are diagnosed.

Brothers and Sisters!
To the barricades!!

Cheers

LGC

I'm never bothered by what people think of me now, and always go along the lines that if someone has a problem with me then it is their problem and to keep away. So, I don't care who I tell I have diabetes, but, I've found on several occasions I've had mixed responses from them.

Some seem to look uncomfortable, and act abit uneasy. Others react by looking at me as if to say: 'So what?? Want a medal?'

It doesn't bother me, but I do wonder why some people react in a negative way.

Helena

This is an earlier topic that I wrote,
Don't get involved in the blame game. ( More relevant to Type 2's)
viewtopic.php?f=25&t=21894