Why do friends/family always have to ask?

[donnellysdogs]

Hi everyone,

I would just like to ask any parents of t1 diabetics that have their children married and living away to remember that when parents visit, and their children do a blood test-don't ask them what the result is......

My parents visit me 4-5 times a year. I am 46 and married, and lived away from home since I was 16. I was diagnosed at 23. However, whenever my parents visit, if I do a blood test, they always have to ask what the result is, and boy oh boy it annoys me.......it really irritates me when I do a blood test, and my friends or family ask if it is ok.....I feel that I do 5+ tests a day, and if I can do this every day of the rest of my life why do people have to ask when they are around me, when they don't ask the rest of the time........

I know people will say they got an interest, but I wish friends and family would realise that we cope the rest of the time without relaying our blood tests results to them 5 times a day, so on the odd few occasions they are around......DON'T ASK.......it makes me feel so different to 'non-diabetics'.

Moan over....is there anything else that irritates others?

 

[acron^]

At least they care enough to ask! Wouldn't it bother you if they never ever inquired how you were getting on with it?

 

[Spiral]

I understand how you feel :?

However, I have recently got to grips with my blood sugar readings and when I have gotten a reading under 5 it has been a cause of great celebration, as have readings under 6 an hour after I have eaten. I don't want to keep it to myself :roll: although I am selective about who I share this information with.

 

[Handyníall]

Heh, my parents used to ask so I'd give them stupid answers... My mam once asked when I first moved away, and I said -10... And she then asked 'That's good isn't it?'

 

[hanadr]

Don't test in front of them. It's not surprising they ask if they see you do it.
Hana

 

[Annabeth13]

My friends always ask me what my blood glucose is when I test in front of them too. So I eventually made it into a game. The first person to see me testing shouts out a number and the others follow suit. Most of the time they are fairly accurate. It is a fun game and the winner always gets a sweet from my emergency stash of candy I always have on me.

It has been good for them because some times they will ask what I have eaten and quantities. Also how long ago I ate last and what medications I have taken and when. Then they will make more informed guess as to my levels.

They also enjoy guessing the amount of carbohydrates in the food I am eating and guessing how much insulin I will have to give myself.

All in all it has made me more conscious of my food choices. It has also given my amazing group of friends some basic knowledge of diabetes. And now I know no matter what happens they will be able to get me sorted.

 

[Talos]

Don't test in front of them. It's not surprising they ask if they see you do it.
Hana

I agree with hanadr, Why do you test in front of them if you don't want to tell them?
Are you an exhibitionist?

 

[Dippy3103]

Perhaps seeing you testing makes them feel the topic is "open" rather than just dropping it into general conversation.

 

[sugar2]

Sorry, that made me smile....as it is a familiar situation for me too...and it did get slightly irritating!

However, thsi is no longer the case, as my dad was diagnosed T2 a few years back now....and now doesn't ask me, as I will ask him...and that really isn't somehwere either of us want to go.

The thing about not testing in front of them is an odd one though. A their place, fair enogh, I am not on home ground, and would therefore probably leave the room to do the test, but in my own home, I have my routine...blood testing being one of them...aand wouldn't really want to leave the room. My parents did look after me from teh ages of 4 until i left home at 18, so I guess they are allowed to ask, but it is annoying!

 

[copepod]

Never really had the problem of unwanted attention from family, friends, partner. I just say "I need to sort myself out" and they ignore me, unless followed by "I need to eat now" or "I'll need to eat soon". If you don't want them to ask, don't let them know you're testing / injecting. Also, having testing kit and insulin each in 2 places in my own home (kitchen / bedroom / bag that I take out & about) helps to be able to go somewhere private.

My lack of problems is because I was diagnosed aged 30 years, when unfortunately living with parents and semi-house-trained 19 year old cousin, having just returned from overseas, nearest friends 100 miles away, and as this was 1996, no internet nor mobile phone. So, I made it clear to my Mum that I would sort things myself and eat whatever I was provided with (fussy Dad and cousin made this very frustrating, although once an Indian doctor friend brought me home cooked curry). This became much easier when, after a few months of bimodal insulin, I changed to MDI, because the pharmacist mother of a friend of mine (we'd gone on holiday to Belgium and she'd seen that injecting 30 mins before breakfast & evening meal was somewhat inconvenient) sent me a photocopied article about MDI / basal bolus regime, and I asked clinic to change.
My partner (met in 1999, some 3 years after diagnosis) knows that I adjust my basal insulin dose according to general activity / weather, and bolus insulin dose according to meal contents. But he has no idea of my typical doses - why the heck does he need to know, if I always do my own injections? He is good at causing a diversion if appropriate. If he cooks, he usually tells me / shows me plate before I inject. However, had a bit of a hiccup last night when he cooked roast duck, showed me pototos, but forgot to mention there was blackberry crumble in oven, so I decided not to have another injection for pudding, but to eat some tonight.
Most friend and colleagues don't know about my diagnosis, although I don't mind them knowing once they've known me for several months. It's particularly fun to surprise medical / nursing colleagues and friends, as most have noticed my adventure racing / navigation skills or nordic skiing to work, rather than having any inkling about type 1 diabetes.

 

[Talos]

I just don't understand why anybody would want to test in front of others, and then complain if they are interested in the result. I prefer to keep my meter etc in the bathroom and do my testing there, its handy for washing my hands both pre and post test, with the added bonus of always knowing where my kit is to be found. I don't find it embarrassing to do a check in front of others, and if they ask, I tell them, at least they are interested and it also reminds them not to get the cakes and sweets out in front of me ( because I am easily tempted).

 

[Dollyrocker]

I don't think anyone's ever asked me but I too don't do it in front of people.

Be grateful that people show an interest, you could educate them

 

[janabelle]

Having had a mother and father who didn't show a blind bit of interest in my health when I was diagnosed at age 19, I would have felt more supported and cared for if they had mentioned it or enquired about it occasionally. My mother's only ever comment was "oh well, millions of people have it".
As the mother of a cancer survivor, I can totally relate to any parent having concerns about their child's health, no matter what age.
So in answer to the original question- because they care, and I think you should be grateful and thankful that they do! After all they're probably just looking for reassurance that all is well with your health, what can be wrong with that?
Jus

 

[viv1969]

Sorry, but I can think of at least 100 things which annoy me / concern me more than a simple question like that.

If you stress so over this, what on earth would you be like over something that actually matters?

 

[lostsoul]

Treat your diabetes with the respect it deserves-test in private and keep the results to yourself. If anyone asks, tell them nothing. They are not the T1. When outsiders ask for readings (friends and family), they turn into a pack of wolves and start telling you what not to eat and what to do with your insulin. Screw them! They have no idea what it is like to live as a T1 on a daily basis. It is forever! So, test in private, collect your own prescriptions, if possible and manage your readings between yourself and your diabetes specialist nurse. Non T1's can walk away without a care in the world, but T1's cannot.If they ask...say what is it to do with you? Testing in private, on the positive side, lets people know that you are in control and managing without there interference and added pressures to what you have to deal with daily.
Lost soul signing out

 

[cjw]

Gosh I can't believe people are being upset at being asked how they're doing - it shows an interest. I test wherever I am when I need to test I wouldn't dream of going to somewhere private. I have to test so I do it. My friends also try and guess at times when we are out though I don't give them sweets as a reward!

 

[sugar2]

Sorry, but I can think of at least 100 things which annoy me / concern me more than a simple question like that.

If you stress so over this, what on earth would you be like over something that actually matters?

Viv...I am sure you could be a bit more patronising if you really tried...go on, you know you want to!

 

[Dollyrocker]

Viv wasn't being patronising Sugar but I think you were! :lol:

 

[jopar]

I must admit I'm quite bemused by those who get so hecked up over whether somebody asks what there result was or find the need to hide to test, WHY?

If somebody see me testing and asks I tell them the result it's generally followed by several more questions like what should blood sugar levels be etc.. But hey they haven't got a glue they ani't diabetic are they! So they learning which is a good thing...

As to it making me feel different to non-daibetics in some ways don't take any notice of it, diabetes is just part of me just like my brown hair and eyes.. Don't make an issue over those when I'm sat with a group of people who are mainly blond or fair haired... So is diabetes so different?

 

[Debloubed]

Heavens above. I am pretty gobsmacked that people are a) moaning about others showing an interest in their diabetes and b) people suggesting that anyone go and test in private! Spread the word people! No wonder the general public think that diabetes is a disease that only overweight and unhealthy people get, we need to keep it out of the closet not shove it back in!

Obviously, each to their own and if you would prefer to test in the privacy of your own bathroom or wherever then that's your choice. I like the poster who said that family/friends make it a game and guess the result, my family do that too! and my BF is almost nearly always spot on. Dammit :lol:

Having said all of that, I do feel the OP's pain. My parents still ask me and to be fair, I could pluck numbers out of the air and tell them, they wouldn't really know what to do if I said 'actually Mum, I'm 28.5!' :lol: although in their defence, if I said I was 2.1 they would reach for the kits kats or mars bars (yes, they are old school, no matter how many packets of jelly babies I buy them :lol: ). Wouldn't have them any other way though