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Why should I be bothered anymore....

Today he asked me why I refused to go out in his car with him if he was driving.....so I told him about the not testing / invalid insurance / not going to opticians / cataracts....not sure if it will make any difference but I am adamant I will not be going out in car with him....just means that on a matter of principle we will never go out anywhere together unless he wants to come in my car and I drive....no great loss to me...I have plenty of things of my own to keep me occupied...

...am also a bit disillusioned at the moment by attitude of diabetic nurse who appears to be telling him he is doing well and to keep doing what he is doing in terms of insulin etc....he saw her today to have ears syringed.......just don't feel she is taking a hard enough line but then she doesn't have the true picture as to what is really going on....she seems to agree that it is ok for him to test (or not as the case may be) / take insulin / eat banana before going out in car...guess perhaps banana is probably not the best food choice for a diabetic..(unless you are following NHS guidelines on carbs!....and he eats a number of bananas per day).....nor I guess is the evening bowl of porridge but hey ho..

..also got similar message back from when I recently spoke to my GP that it was considered that he is much improved from where he was.(which in some ways he is with HbA1c now lower than starting point)....sometimes think it is a box ticking exercise for them ....if he appears to have improved they tick the box regardless of any other issues ...hence my sense of disillusion / feeling that whatever I say won't make any difference anyway....I am probably earmarked as a 'worrier and fusspot'.....does anyone else get this impression about their healthcare team or is it just me....

On a slightly sobering note I came across another person during the course of my work this week ....not medical related I hasten to add....was evident though that diabetes was taking its toll...background retinopathy had advanced to the point where they are needing surgery and they were losing their sight so unable to see what I was showing them and asking them to complete....also almost lost their leg (whole leg) last year due to a foot infection....was really touch and go at one point but thankfully things took a positive turn and the leg was saved....just brings home to me what the potential consequences are of not getting on top of this condition.....is the second person I have come across in the last four months....the other guy was not so lucky ending up losing his leg below the knee and being on dialysis..
......just makes me stop and think sometimes how devastating this would be if it happened here........nothing I can do though to stop it if it did so just concentrating on getting on with my life....

@Fayefaye1429 @Robinredbreast ....thank you for your lovely messages...
 
Hello Molly, just read your reply, and wow the answers were showing how far you have come a long way,,,, you are showing you are not going to be brought down by HiD, glad you have handed over the reins of control to him and he falls or prospers by his own hand,,,,,,you opening title was a downer and mad us think you had major problems that you needed help to resolve, but you are showing promise,,,,,,,,so where are you going for your crimble lunch with your boys???,,,,,,, don't get volunteered for the cooking that huge dinner,, what about a restaurant?,,,,what luxury.

So tell us who, where,what, when, why and how you will be spending the day, and maybe pictures from all on the site,,,,,I have been asked for a picture of the dog, Blade,,,, the search does on for them,,,,,

SO when you write your crimble lists out make sure there is plenty on them for you,,,,and maybe put up opening times for doctors, chemists and the supermarket on the fridge,,,,,then you have covered everything,,,,,, so between now and then let us hear about your sons and where you are going with them,,,and no cooking,,,,,even get the ex,,to cook and you be the guest,,,,, humm think about that one then,,,,,ttfn from Karen.
 
If he has lowered his HbA1c from 90 down to 60 then he has significantly improved his control, and has made great progress.

I would be congratulating him.

But I would still report him for driving without insurance.
 

With the greatest respect Scouser (and to Molly), has this thread not now run its course? To be honest, discussions about plans for Christmas, detailed ones, that aren't specifically about diabetes don't really belong here, in this thread. We have all given our advice and opinions, Molly is moving on with her life, which is what has been suggested many times over. As for the driving - I'm with Brunneria.
 
@ladybird64 ....I agree with you that detailed plans about my Christmas do not belong here and if I did answer @Scouser58 s questions I would do so by private message....something I seem to remember you declined to engage in, hence my answering your point here.......my original reply to the question was to say that amongst other things I am making plans to get on with what I want to do (including Christmas) and that what he chooses to do is up to him.....I believe this is still relevant to the original post...
 
 
ladybird64 said:
With the greatest respect Scouser (and to Molly
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I beg to differ. You raised the issue in this thread that your OH was driving dangerously, you pointed it out publicly. I responded by asking you, as you were obviously worried, why you weren't doing anything to get him stopped, then you said you would respond to my questions by PM. As this was an issue that you raised publicly Molly, I felt the responses should stay on the tbread you created - makes it coherent and transparent, wouldn't you agree?

You have said you're making your own individual plans for Christmas, I'm glad to hear it. But given the usual requests that are given by mods to stay on topic, I cannot honestly see that discussing these plans in detail, restaurants, other family members, have any connection with your original thread title. Is there any more to add to the question "Why do I bother?". If answers need to be taken to PM, then surely it has run its course?
 
@Molly56 , If you wish to PM me on any subject, or just a chat you can do if you wish, you did say you would do at one time. I also think we have finished this post,,ttfn from Karen.
 
Brunneria said:
If he has lowered his HbA1c from 90 down to 60 then he has significantly improved his control, and has made great progress.

I would be congratulating him.

But I would still report him for driving without insurance.
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I completely agree with what you say, @Brunneria .

@Molly56 - If his HbA1c has changed from 90 to 60, that is a 33% reduction, and actually very significant. In the HCP's shoes, they are now on a hiding to nothing (to use a great Scottishism) in that if they don't acknowledge a 33% reduction, what on earth will they recognise? Perhaps they feel that praise may encourage him to keep up the good work and do more of what he knows to have helped?

Looking at the new NICE Guidelines, published yesterday, this is a direct lift, relating to HbA1c targets for those with T2:



The full document can be accessed here: http://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng28

The driving and fibbing about the test scores continue to be issues, and I would have problems with my personal moral compass if I didn't do more than just ensure I was never driven by him, but only you can decide where you set your own dials. He has quite plainly decided where he has set his.
 
Hello, I have just read your post on the new guidelines for the HbA1c test, especially the point you have raised, I did not get my last reading as I was not there when the result came back,,,,,another thing to remember when I next go gp,,,,,it will likely make interesting reading,,,,print out time,,,ttfn ftom Karen.
 
@AndBreathe ...thank you for the link ....it will be useful to keep for future reference to understand the recommended course of action so I will definitely have a read...

Am wondering what his next HbA1c will show as I would suggest his diet has become slightly worse over recent weeks....back in the summer he was eating a lot of salads and had reduced the carbs to a certain extent by what he was choosing to put with the salad....now moving into the winter months his diet seems to be reverting back to as it was before with substantially more carbs. (porridge, bananas and milk feature heavily)...will have to see if this is reflected in next HbA1c test whenever the nurse decides that should be...

...will also be interesting to see what the hospital has to say...he has an appointment next week for discussing the rebooking of a medical procedure / operation that was cancelled at the pre-op stage earlier in the year..will have to wait and see what the verdict is at the consultation and if he gets as far as or beyond the pre-op this time......as I will not be going to the appointment with him it will be down to him to remember what is said and to follow any instructions given...on past performance this may be difficult as he tends to only remember parts of what he is told...or perhaps what he wants to hear....
....in the meantime just getting on with my life....
 
Hello Molly56, still a bit over concerned, for your distance to be kept,,,,,,but keep up the good work and the distance markers,,,,,,ttfn from Karen.
 
I know that I shouldn't let it bother me but should I be worried that his latest blood sugar reading this evening was 22.2....at times this doesn't get any easier even though I am trying to take a backward step....just posting this as an observation to get the thought out of my head before trying to go to sleep....at least there is no danger of a night time hypo...
 
Hello Molly,,,,,,yes I can see you are trying,,,but you are still worried by hypo's,,,,,with a bs reading of 22.2 that won't be a problem it is the hyper's he will have to watch for,,,,,nite nite ttfn from Karen.
 
Have just discovered the reason for the 22.2.....a bag of Cadburys twirl bites PLUS a bag of Cadbury crunchie rocks both bought and completely consumed yesterday afternoon....plus a small bag of granulated sugar hidden behind a box in the cupboard (also purchased yesterday) and now about half full.....probably shouldn't but have now thrown the rest of the packet of sugar in the bin!.....
....am so disappointed as thought things were improving.....clearly they are not....seems he is in self destruct mode....
 
Stand well back .............
 

Mmmmm. You're familiar with that old adage when someone "goes out" with a possessive indevidual & is questioned & suspected of infidelity...? Eventually they can be driven to the very thing they are accused of..

I see a fair bit of critique regarding this chap. Inspite of his HbA1c improvement & the fact he appears to eat before getting behind the wheel, keeping his blood above five to drive.. (Not exactly how I would personally manage it.) but still some positives there!
 
Hello Molly56, Clivethe drive and Jaylee, I think the expression, "tis the season to be silly" is quite true
when it comes to stuffing your face with all the stuff you are not supposed too, so if it was me in your place Molly, I would not even mention to him anymore, the stupid things he is doing, by eating all that stuff,,,,as A bystander that is all a person can do,,,,,when a body presses their self destruct button,,,as Clive said,,,stand back,,,,, Jaylee as you say,,,eating so much stuff before driving,,,,well that is down right ridiculous,,,,,,hyper's can sneak up slowly,,,,and when they do,,,roll your eyes and walk away.
So Molly you have caught him out big style and have seen what he is getting up to when he thinks you won't find out,,,,,,that stepping back,,needs to be far away,,,,,and shield yourself,,,,,,biting the tongue hurts but it is something you are going to have to do,,,,,It does not matter what time of year it is,,,,,,people do stupid things,,and what ever you do,you have to let them do it ,,god knows you have tried, so many times,,,,,,now let it go,,,you can do no more,,,he has made his plan, now let him use it, it is what he wants,,,,,stand back,,,,,,ttfn from Karen.
 
Not feeling well myself at the moment........is as much as I can do to look after myself at the moment....
 
Molly56 said:
Not feeling well myself at the moment........is as much as I can do to look after myself at the moment....
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It's easy to say "cheer up" but from experience our problems and feelings are all to real,so book yourself a spa and chill out ,learning to enjoy ourselves,and just getting away for awhile is whats required Molly56
 
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