Why should I be bothered anymore....

[Tykess]

.....the title says it all.....just how I am feeling at the moment.....

I have been following this thread and as far as I can see there are only two things you can do if you really want to help him and save his, and probably someone else's life.
(1) Report him to the DVLA
(2) Report him to his diabetic team
Going round and round in advice circles is only putting off the inevitable

 

[catherinecherub]

@Molly56,
You ask why you should be bothered anymore. That is a decision that you have to make.

There is a more pressing problem that needs to be addressed and that is him driving illegally. The motorist or pedestrian that he may injure or kill has no choice. It seems that your partner's only priority is to get from A to B without any thought about possible consequences.

 

[iHs]

I think Molly56, its time for you to stop posting msgs to this forum like you do, as I think you are experiencing a classic case of DiaForumitus so leave the internet alone for a while and stop worrying

 

[Robinredbreast]

Dear Molly, not only is he bringing himself down, he is bringing you down, day by day, month by month. Don't do this to yourself, it's time to say *^!* him and get on enjoying your life, some things got to give. I think so many of us are appalled by his behaviour, it really is a waste of your precious time and your life to keep battling with this man.
As for him not testing before driving, is could be, quite frankly, a death sentence waiting to happen..................... and not just him.
Take care Molly x

 

[SuzanJ]

.....the title says it all.....just how I am feeling at the moment.....

I'm glad to see that you are bothered enough to post in here and you are obviously bothered, so keep on being supportive and nag about bs levels and go to doc appointments with your other half. Yes he is taking a dangerous course of action but he also may be feeling and thinking "why bother"

 

[Buxton1998]

Would his hba1c not show he has falsified his readings and that the book is not accurate?

 

[Scouser58]

@Molly56, @Robinredbreast,and other members, I have followed Molly's posts for a while, and have tried to keep in touch with her, but she disappears. So Molly let us look at this problem from another place.
Him in doors is still being a stubborn selfish so and so, still doing the things he wants and not doing the things he should be doing, which we all know are important.
Now he has foot/toe trouble, well the first thing is, say this to him, " I don't want to know, it's your toe/foot, and don't think I will run round after you if they cut it off, it's your own fault deal with it".

Now with regard to the driving, and as all the other members have pointed out, is dangerous, stupid and should be stopped, So the doctor and the dsn, can be informed of what he is up to with the readings etc, so write to them giving the facts, and then step back, it is his condition.
As we all know the dr, can inform the DVLA and the driving licence will be withdrawn, he will get a letter, and told to return it, will he do it?

The fastest way to get him brought to book is to pass his reg number to the police with a note telling them of his poor eye sight conditions, they will "look into" the matter and inform the road cars, and he will be stopped and then he will have to deal with them, it is Their job to police road safety after all.
You could also give them the dates when he will be driving so they could 'catch him' and then he is in the system, so to speak.

This is old Tough Love route, and I think you have to step right back and let him get on with it, after all we were here before with the readings and worry about hypo's, when hyper's were the real possibility.

You are taking yourself into the region of stressed out to a big extent, it is not the right thing for you to do. Molly you have been through enough, and now it is time to stand back, he is reaching the point of full medical intervention, you can also tell him "If you end up in hospital I will not be wasting my time visiting you, it is your own fault".

Molly 56 step back, how are you getting on with your sanity bags?, have you been to see and speak your friend while he is being so stubborn?
Please don't get yourself wound up any further, nothing will stop him from being so selfish, and self centered, feeling sorry for himself is how he wants to be behave, so let him.
So for now Molly, ttfn from Karen.

 

[Molly56]

Have booked doctors appointment this morning for myself.....will bring this up in our conversation....

 

[Robinredbreast]

Have booked doctors appointment this morning for myself.....will bring this up in our conversation....

Let it all out Molly, for your own sanity and well being.

RRB x

 

[Scouser58]

@ Molly56, Hello I have just read you very simple reply, and this is the totally right thing to do.
Tell the doctor about what you have to tell him about him in doors, or write down the points that need to be highlighted, just what is important.

Then sit and tell the gp, how you are feeling and ask for help, even something for the stress you are going through, are you having high blood pressure? thumping noise in the ears, headaches,cannot sleep properly? Are you tired all the time? Tears? all signs of stress and anxiety.
Galloping up rapidly is the season of the guy in the red suit, cannot be bothered with it, dreading it?

Molly step back and rest, you need to stop worrying about the situation and wanting to help is one thing, but being ignored is stressful to your well being, still here for you Molly, ttfn from Karen.

 

[Jaylee]

Should I be bothered by the fact that he has not tested bs levels for the last two days....despite still injecting his insulin and driving...am wondering what readings he will be showing the diabetic nurse on Monday or whether he will just complete his book with false readings as he has done in the past....whatever I say (or don't say) won't make a blind bit of difference so why waste my breath......

This song says it all...

Crank it up to 11 & rip the knob off..!

 

[Molly56]

Have booked doctors appointment this morning for myself.....will bring this up in our conversation....

@Robinredbreast @Scouser58 ....just to update on earlier message ....did attend appointment and bring up points raised in earlier posts....my main premise for the appointment was to discuss a skin condition I have that I think is made worse by stress but allowed me to discuss my causes of stress...

....to be honest am not sure what outcome will be of me raising concerns but at least I have done it so is now down to GP to decide what action (if any) needs to be taken....notes were made on my partners record to let diabetic nurse know about false readings and also to reinforce need to test before driving ....plus note to the effect that I do not want him to know that I have spoken with GP....am hoping that confidentiality and tact will prevail on any further discussions...
...got the impression though that GP is pleased with progress he is making with diabetic control (partner went to appointment this afternoon and HbA1c is now down to 60 / blood pressure ok / weight down a few pounds but still over 122kg...he / partner said nurse was pleased with his progress)....am guessing this (HbA1c) is heading towards target acceptable by NHS....sometimes get the impression that my worries / concerns are not taken that seriously and it is thought I am worrying over nothing.....

....anyway, bottom line is that I have raised my concerns and it is on the record.....regarding my skin problem he has asked to see me again in a few weeks to see if any improvement so will allow me another opportunity to raise points if still concerned...
thank you both for your earlier messages...

Have noticed that bs readings over recent days have been substantially lower than previously for him (between 5 and 8) but just stepping back and leaving him to get on with it.....still a little concerned he will not recognise or deal with a hypo should one occur but is his problem....

@Scouser58 ....have not been doing bags recently but getting more into knitting and cross stitch and other crafts....will return to bag making project sometime in the future....saying that have knitted some nice bags recently...will private message some pictures sometime....

 

[Molly56]

This song says it all...

Crank it up to 11 & rip the knob off..!

@Jaylee ....thank you for the musical interlude.....

 

[Jaylee]

Would his hba1c not show he has falsified his readings and that the book is not accurate?

Hi,

I'll stick my neck out & say it don't quite work like that..
I have all my accurate results on an app. This app also works out statistics on insulin,carbs & even works out Hba1c.
But the A1c results I get on this app (though good.) are always about 5% higher than the Hba1c figuresI get back from the surgery..

There are math heads that can explain it in more detail better than I can!

 

[skunks12]

Should I be bothered by the fact that he has not tested bs levels for the last two days....despite still injecting his insulin and driving...am wondering what readings he will be showing the diabetic nurse on Monday or whether he will just complete his book with false readings as he has done in the past....whatever I say (or don't say) won't make a blind bit of difference so why waste my breath......

Hi I've been diabetic for over 10 years and I went thru this phase no bs reading and doing insulin as normal even skipping it sum times now I'm only 24 and have had more lazer surgery for macula degeneration and retinopathy and cataracts than I can count due to not monitoring my bs and insulin for a few months so you say a BLIND bit of difference if not carefull he could damage his sight badly it's most affected area with unmonitored or high sugars believe me not looking after yourself hits back a few years down the line I've bin told I'll be blind if I'm not carefull by the time I'm 35 and I'm also prevented from having a driving license due to ever changing of my eye condition tell him what he's doing is messing with his future of driving, living as normal as a diabetic can and all his health because when the damage starts it's hard to stop as diabetes make its difficult to control damage rate plz show him this to read hope it helps

 

[CollieBoy]

Hi,

I'll stick my neck out & say it don't quite work like that..
I have all my accurate results on an app. This app also works out statistics on insulin,carbs & even works out Hba1c.
But the A1c results I get on this app (though good.) are always about 5% higher than the Hba1c figuresI get back from the surgery..

There are math heads that can explain it in more detail better than I can!

@Jaylee, @Molly56
sorry to take this off topic, but couldn't the new CGM type BG recording systems be used to help formulate a more accurate HbA1c algorithm (bound to be a PhD thesis in there lads/girls <G>)

@Molly56 , hope this saga gets resolved soon (with no casualties)

 

[Molly56]

@Jaylee, @Molly56
sorry to take this off topic, but couldn't the new CGM type BG recording systems be used to help formulate a more accurate HbA1c algorithm (bound to be a PhD thesis in there lads/girls <G>)

@Molly56 , hope this saga gets resolved soon (with no casualties)

@CollieBoy ....no problem in opening the topic up to further discussion, after all that is why the forum is here....thank you for your other comments....my sentiments too....

 

[niccolino]

.....the title says it all.....just how I am feeling at the moment.....

Is it possible he is suffering from depression and so needs help with that?

 

[Molly56]

Is it possible he is suffering from depression and so needs help with that?

@niccolino ...I guess he could be .....but even then he does have to do something to help himself.....or at least admit to himself that he needs to do something about it...which he won't...

....he was at one point on an antidepressant (sertraline) but stopped taking it / forgot to take it (long story...)...in fact I noticed that he was a lot worse in terms of mood when on the antidepressant and seemed marginally better when he stopped taking it.....in my book antidepressants are not always the answer....I would always look for alternatives first before resorting to these.

...so to answer your question depression could be a part of his problem but there is much more to it than that....

 

[Fayefaye1429]

Is it possible he just wants to keep hurting himself? I agree he needs to consider other or driving and awesome stuff you have done Molly re gps
It's horrible to see a love one harm themselves like an alcoholic killing themselves through drink. I guess maybe there is no solution or answer for Molly sorry to say it's in his hands and all you can do is whatever the power you have. I too have followed Molly and change can be hard especially when you love someone and you do deserve Molly to look after you as you matter so much to