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worried grandma

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Kinsley01

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6
Hello,
I am a grandmother of a 11 year old boy with type 1, he is now into his 4th year he is very responsible and very smart he does his own shots, calibration, counts for carbs, everything on his own, His parents are very supportive and are doing amazing job raising him with his diabetes, with that being said ,my grandson knows how to cheat and give himself corrections, so the other night his numbers spiked and was so scary! but because he is so smart he feels he can make corrections fix it till next cheating. The parents now are using discipline to punish him because they have done all the forgiving the correcting understanding and everyone is all in the fed up stage, the parents will never give up that is just there mental state at this time. I don't agree with the discipline to take things away from him that he likes to do is an answer. I am not the parent so I cant make that choice. Can anyone out there please help me on how I can suggest what to do or where is there a support group to take my family so we can all go for advise? please help. Thank you
 
Hi @Kinsley01 ,

Welcome to the forum.

I took the liberty of lifting your post from another thread which may help elabourate on the query regarding your grandson.


From a personal perspective. The boy might be comming to an age where he wishes to take more control for himself?
Of course, this conflicts with the regime his parents have put in place to manage his diabetes..

The issue is honesty. If the lad has corrected his highs on his own initiative? He should let his folks know, either by logging the test result in his book/app along with the correction dose of insulin time. A sense of comunication needs to be evoked between your grandson & his parents or they all could find serious problems with stuff like "insulin stacking?"

I empathise with the boy.. But I can also understand the parents..

The practically regarding health (especially where diabetes is concerned.) is things go wrong when one hand doesn't know what the other is doing..

That's my take on it!
 
 
Thank you I will suggest to his parents the monitoring and tracking on his own.. I only hope there is no spikes that he takes a chance on doing it is not a lesson I want to risk.. another worry is he carries around his insulin and uses his phone and receiver to track numbers and he has made comments he is tired of it I just hope this isn't one more thing he has to do..
Thank you again.
 
yes he does eat outside his parents knowledge then makes a correction with insulin. He is very smart kid beyond smart and is very knowledgeable of what he can and cant have by counting his carbs, my worry is he may spike if he does something wrong he is only 11! So I want to give suggestions to the parents but I cant interfere to much (meaning stepping on toes) I am just the grandma, so looking for suggestions.
 

Hi again,

Does your grandson use an insulin pump? Or do you mean a CGM for blood monitoring?
 

As long as he is correcting and his levels are in range before mealtimes and bedtime then there is no issue, Disciplining his behaviour will encourage him to hide things from you, he is a young boy dealing with a consuming condition, he sounds like he's doing an incredible job so should be praised and encouraged. Please try to encourage his parents to approach this positively as you need him to maintain communication and to keep a positive mind set as he grows into adolescence.
 
I'm guessing by cheating you mean he sneaks some extra carbs (of the confectionery type?) and then has insulin to counteract it? Having said that, sometimes blood sugar spikes and you never know why so I'd be very cautious about playing a "blame game" here, as he may end up never telling them when he has an issue for fear of being accused of "cheating". Plus, quite frankly, he's got a raw enough deal with having childhood diabetes without being "punished" for it as well.

I'd also be aware that while spikes are not ideal they're not usually life threatening, whereas hypos can be. So you really don't want him over correcting in order to avoid a spike and then having a major hypo.

11 is an awkward age, as he's still quite young so that it's understandable that his parents want to keep control of his diabetes, BUT, in practice it's going to be his responsibility long term and at some point they're going to have to let him take control and make his own mistakes. An issue is that he probably already knows better than his parents about controlling his blood sugars,but probably isn't old enough to appreciate that poor control now may give him long term health problems later.
(Sometimes I think that it's worse for T1 children now than it was when I was a child, when there weren't any blood sugar meters. I just went along to the doctor every 6 months, they looked at my weight and height, (presumably) checked my hbA1C, and then recommended some insulin changes. I did some pretty awful things in my teens, (think doughnut and milkshake after school!)

Good luck to you all.


The above is really good advice.
 
As a T1D I can fully understand your grandsons desire for independence - and from your brief description he sounds like a very capable lad. But as a parent I can understand the parents anxiety as insulin is lethal... Even knowing what it's like first hand, I really don't know if I could give my 11 year old son control as it's a really big step.

Could you suggest that, as he's getting older, it's time to start allowing your grandson to 'start learning' these skills under parental supervision? As parental confidence grows, it could be suggested that he should have the odd unplanned teenage treat with his friends... when he demonstrates he can do this safely then hopefully further freedom will be forthcoming?
 
It is all part and parcel of growing up. Diabetic or not, it is normal. The diabetes just complicates the pushing of those borders. As he either is, or will be going to high school, parental control becomes more difficult. You mention he is a bright lad. It is time for the parents to sit round a table and talk with him, laying out their fears, showing acceptance that it is his condition and that they are willing to give him more control in managing it. But, that he must acknowledge that secret eating is not the way forward. Treats and correction are fine, but should be done openly (without censure) so that they don’t become illicit.
 
Having 2 teenage boys who have been at the age of 11 once dont underestimate how HUNGRY 11y olds can get. Maybe he is needing snacks as he is ravenous and its a case of directing towards more healthy things - sounds as tho he is giving insulin for them
 
That is a very good point, (I was wondering it myself but thinking maybe he hadn't reached that stage yet?). Growing boys can get through a huge amount of food during their growth spurts, and if his diet is being controlled by his previous needs rather than his future needs he may need to be allowed to eat more and inject more...
 
I was diagnosed at 12. I'm now 31. My parents left it all to me. Everything. It was the best thing that could have happened.

This boys parents are creating a future where this boy will have a horrible relationship with his diabetes.

Even use of the word cheating... I really feel for him. When I was 12 I was eating CONSTANTLY. I was growing and eating and playing sports. I have a 4 year old and he eats more than I do now!

I see lots of parents with young teens who constantly monitor their kids. I don't see how this can good for the kids at all.
 
Not sure I understand why he needs to be disciplined. Its not ideal to eat the wrong types of things but at least he is adjusting because of it. You read lots of posts on here and social media of adults who are just not taking insulin because they can't be bothered. I think the parents need to understand what their son is going through and help him adjust as necessary. Diabetes is hard enough as it is without being punished by people who are non diabetic and after all none of us are perfect.
 
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