Worried sick

[April_K]

Well no, she must be NOT using the insulin to be eating so much and losing weight. Without insulin your body can't get energy into the cells, your body basically thinks your starving even when you are eating like it's going out of fashion (increased appetite is a symptom of high blood sugar because your body isn't able to get energy from what you are eating, so it sends you messages to say eat something) so your body starts burning through your fat and eventually in will burn through muscle and other tissues.

And yes, realistically you could lose her if she continues with omitting insulin. When the body doesn't have insulin and starts breaking down fat that releases ketones, this turns the blood acidic. That's diabetic ketoacidosis and it is potentially fatal.

So your daughter wants money? Can you use this to bribe her to test blood sugar, to test for ketones?

Or your daughter wants rubbish food? Great, get a takeaway - Offer a McDonald's or whatever if she tests blood sugar and you see her bolus for it.

I mean bribery is probably not going to be psychologically endorsed as any kind of solution. But if all other options are exhausted if it opens the door to your daughter considering the position she is putting herself in it might be worth a try.

Does your daughter understand what your bereavement means for you? At 17 I would doubt it but she may be empathetic enough to have a discussion about it and that may lead the way to a discussion about how worried you are for her. Does she understand the risk she is at? Were the previous hospital admissions for DKA? Did she get advice on how serious that is?

Hi ya,
Yes she understands it all and so do I, Sorry when I said insulin to loose weight, that's what I meant, not injecting.
The bribery thing is what I've resorted to right now so funny you should say that, But then I had her father on at me about giving her money when she isn't doing as she is supposed to be. I can't win.
So yep, this is what makes it all so much more frustraiting , she isn't a young 17 she is pretty grown up and intelligent, she knows what DKA is and she knows that it's affecting her, her answer is, if everybody just got off her back & left her alone she would be fine. But she isn't.
Thanks for you reply Hun x

 

[April_K]

Some times rebellion comes from the feeling of not being allowed to control ones own destiny. Your daughter must feel that just about everyone is on her back .. We understand this is for her own good .. but in her eyes she could be seeing it as everyone pushing her to do things she is not willing to do. I understand how your feeling, but it must be putting a huge strain on your daughter. There is a saying .. if you love them you must let them go.. You are in a loop with your pushing and your daughter pushing back ..
Could I ask you to sit down and talk to your daughter .. talk to her about what she hopes for the future, where she wants to be in five years time .. Ask her if she is having any problems you can help with .. in fact talk to her about anything other than her diabetes .. If she wants to talk about how she is managing her diabetes thats good .. if not then leave the subject alone.
This is her diabetes .. she has access to help when she decides she needs it. Hopefully if she is allowed to find her own way of managing her diabetes she will turn things around herself. But she will need you for support not control ..
If you feel your daughter is needing to be sectioned for mental health problems, self harming by not controlling her diabetes, then thats your call.

Hi.
Thanks for your reply, I understand what you are saying and have to say I have also tried the laid back approach , I also talk to her, we do talk about all sorts of things, at one time we was really close and I believe in being honest and open with my children, we used to sit for hours chatting or just watching TV together, what ever. But now her friends of course are more important to her, so she is with them more now days, I've given her freedom to take control herself and she ended up back in the hospital.
I didn't ask social services to become involved, the hospital has called them in as the team do know all that I've tried so they are not coming marching in blaming me, they are coming in to try and help her gain control, if she will let them.
I do keep praying that she will get through this stage in her life and gain control as she gets older, I'm just worried she won't give herself that chance.
April x

 

[Snapsy]

Oh @April_K - sending my very best your way.
xxxxxxx

 

[type1 taylin]

Hi this is probably late but I am 14 and I have just got out of hospital for the 3rd time this year
Being diagnosed with diabetes at that age is traumatic when I was diagnosed in 2014 I felt as though I was going to be the odd one out and I have always believed that by not injecting then I would get my life back and that I would feel normal and myself again unfortunately what I didn't realise was the damage I was doing to myself you should try and and get her to talk to someone her age who is diabetic because that really helped me I now realise that I am not alone and I am not saying that this will defiantly work but at least by doing this she can make a diabetic friend who will be there for her
Hope this helps but if not I wish you all the best and I hope you figure everything out

 

[NaomiJC]

Has there been any positive change April? Am still thinking of your daughter.

 

[Fi1977]

Hi,
I've joined to see if I can maybe get some help with my just turned 17 year old daughter, we are in real trouble here
My daughter was diagnosed with T1D at 14 after having lots of time off school and me being told there was nothing wrong with her, it just so happened one day I was at my Dad house and he ( I just lost my lovely dad far to young just weeks ago ) was diabetic and he recognised symptoms and he tested her blood which was 27.2
I took her into A&E and that's when and how she was diagnosed.
At first she seemed to accept it all quite well and was injecting herself and carb counting in no time, everybody was very pleased and surprised how well she coped.
How things have changed..
I now have a just turned 17 year old daughter that has lost over 8 stone in weight, refuses to go to any appointments at all, refuses to speak to the diabetic team, they have tried everything, going into college she refuses to see them, she will not pick up if they call her, she ignores texts and emails from them all, She is not injecting as she should be and never tests her blood at all, she has been admitted to hospital 3 time in the last year and really I think has come very close to a lot more than that. I am disabled myself and I do not drive and I have no way of making my daughter go to any appointments and she refuses to come with me by taxi or if I arrange for family to take us, she just leaves the house, if the diabetic nurses come to the house she walks out. So she is refusing anything to do with doctors, hospitals or any mention of diabeties, if I try to ask her about any of it she either flies into a rage, cries and cries and won't speak to me or just walks out, I've tried everything to try and get through to her and so have all family members, she also has cut up her arms a few times saying she can't stand them all keep trying to ruin her life.
I'm at my wits end, her father ( ex husband ) is so busy shouting at me for moving 20 miles up the road two years ago and trying to blame me saying I'm not strict enough that he is no help at all because my daughter blames him for a lot of how depressed and down she feels. She has never forgiven him for walking out on us with another woman even though that's 10 years ago.
I've begged at the hospital one time for them to keep her in longer and make her inject, or to help, to do something because I can't make her do any of it, they just said neither could they and discharged her, So now after this last admitting which I still do not believe she should have been discharged from, she still looks I'll and even though they changed her insuline to one she doesn't have to inject so often, I can see by looking at her that she isn't using it properly, the diabetic team have involved social services, I am actually relieved, I already lost one child to cot death and I am so terrified I am going to find my daughter that way also, I am actually scared for her life, she is now stick thin and pale looking, has pains in her chest a lot and real bad pains in her legs, I relieved that I just had a call from a social worker, I pray that they can help me, I don't know how they will make a 17 year old do as they say anymore than I or the rest of the family can, but I just pray they have a way, I love my daughter, I am scared I am going to loose her and I try but I do not understand why she is behaving this way, she understands exactly what she is doing to herself and I've tried to tell her what this is doing to me, although apparently she thinks I'm not supposed to say that because it's not about me! I'm her mother and I love her and I want her to go on to live a long happy life and so I am letting social services into our life's , I never in my life thought I'd ever have to do something like that, but it's my daughters life I have to think about.
Anybody here have any advice at all?
Anybody having the same kind of problems?
If you got this far, thank you for reading.
April X

 

[Fi1977]

Hi April_K. I am so sorry to read of your understandable worries and I hope you might be a little further forward in the 4 weeks since you posted. Diabulimia is becoming a much more recognised condition and there is good research coming out of America at the moment, indicating that talking therapies help with this. My own experience, as a trainee family therapist working with eating disorder in-patients (and living with type 1 for 40 years) is that help can make a difference and there is help available, but you will need to access it through the GP and it may involve in-patient treatment. Your daughter is not yet an adult which gives you more power to be involved - once she reaches 18, you have less power, if she does not consent to you being included. Most important for you to hear right now though, is that this is not at all your fault. Eating disorders develop for a variety of reasons and are generally about control - taking control of what you eat and how you look can offer people the chance to numb difficult emotions or feel they have something they can be good at when the rest of life seems chaotic. Of course diabetes is all about control too and involving food, so it is a tricky balance. I hope you update us on how things are going.