@elaine77 I'm LADA and went to the ends of the earth trying to keep from taking insulin - I was so, so desperate not to take it that I ate crazy foods for 18 months and it still wasn't enough - I was convinced I was doing the right thing but looking back I really don't know how I did it.
Once my blood sugars started sitting in the 10's to 15's when all I was eating was nuts and green leaves I knew I had to start insulin - I'd always said I was trying to stay off insulin for the best health - and there was no way I could say what I was doing was still the best.
I'm only two months into taking insulin - and I'm not going to pretend it's all rosy and brilliant - cos it's not. I get very frightened at times because I live alone and I'm terrified of hypos.
BUT
The freedom insulin has given me is such a huge weight off my shoulders; one I hadn't realised I was carrying so much before.
I'm not going mad on what I'm eating now because I still think that lower carb is better for me - but I do allow myself the odd thing with sugar or higher carbs in now - whereas before I knew the price for that would be days of high numbers. I can't tell you what a relief not having to panic about being stuck up in a ten, or higher, is.
Also - re the uncertaintity - I'm not sure if it's cos I left it so late to take insulin - but there's been almost no massive variety in what my numbers are doing... Like you, I was afraid that not knowing if my pancreas would chuck out random amounts of insulin would be a nightmare - but aside from my cycle making two weeks quite different to the other two weeks (but which there's still a definite pattern I can predict) then - touch wood - I kinda know what my numbers are going to do, when... so don't be super frightened of that - just try it and see.
Lastly - re babies - I don't think there's no possibility of having a baby. It's a personal choice, obviously - but its something I've spoken about with my Prof (Professor Dayan if you want to look him up - he's well respected in the t1 community). Anyway - he says that the risks are not high so long as control in pregnancy is good. Which of course, when taking insulin, is easier. During your first pregnancy I'm guessing you weren't on insulin - so your GD was hard to control? I'm just throwing that into the mix to try alleviate your fears - Prof told me that in fact, its better to try for a baby asap, now I'm on insulin - as if y pancreas is still producing some of it's own insulin then blood sugars will be easier to manage. Plus research shows that the longer someone is diabetic, the greater the problems in pregnancy - but even that said, there are LOTS of t1's who've been t1 since children, who have perfectly healthy babies - as I said - the biggest factor is keeping good blood sugars in pregnancy - which of course insulin helps greatly with.
Anyway - just thought I'd share - as I was in pretty much precisely your shoes three months ago too... x
