Why me?...

[Michael090382]

Hi everyone,

Probably best to start with the basics, I was diagnosed with T1 when I was 6 years old, I'm now 35 and over the last few years I have been having episodes of 'why me', 'what did I do to deserve this?' Even down to 'what is the point?' This is all surrounded with an overall feeling of low mood and being totally fed up. There have been times when I can't even be bothered to eat, even when I feel hungry (luckily I am on DAFNE so I can adapt to it).

On a normal day I am the one cracking jokes, smiling, laughing and having fun with the kids in school I work with but at times it is pretty difficult when I feel down. Working in a school supporting children with autism and challenging behaviours can be difficult at the best of times!

I'm hoping this makes sense to someone as I often feel like I am the only one to feel this way. I have tried many different things to get through it over the years

Michael

 

[Art Of Flowers]

When your blood glucose level drop the body produces cortisol which can make you cranky. This is one side effect of a high carb diet where glucose levels rise and fall quickly. You may like to tweak your diet so that levels are more stable.

 

[Juicyj]

@Art Of Flowers The OP hasn't even mentioned diet here so it's wrong to make assumptions about diet being the cause of their current mood.

@Michael090382 What you describe is more common than you think, some call it diabetes burnout, but it's living with the daily grind of constant testing and managing insulin, hardly a surprise you are feeling the way you are. Firstly you are not to blame, it's just bad luck, I am only near on 6 years in with my diagnosis and I went through the 'why me', 'what did I do' fairly early on, I am over it now but I know others think exactly the same too. When i've felt similar to you i've had to force myself to do some exercise, however it's helped me, alot, it's like having a coping technique to manage and get by each day, it's also given me comfort to know and realise that when I get low moods that I know they will pass, but I now am a little more cautious in understanding the triggers though, I also talk to those around me and just take one day at a time. If you still find you are struggling them it may well be worth having a catch up with your DSN to see what support is available in your trust.

 

[Michael090382]

@Art Of Flowers The OP hasn't even mentioned diet here so it's wrong to make assumptions about the cause of their current mood.

@Michael090382 What you describe is more common than you think, some call it diabetes burnout, but it's living with the daily grind of constant testing and managing insulin, hardly a surprise you are feeling the way you are. Firstly you are not to blame, it's just bad luck, I am only near on 6 years in with my diagnosis and I went through the 'why me', 'what did I do' fairly early on, I am over it now but I know others think exactly the same too. When i've felt similar to you i've had to force myself to do some exercise, however it's helped me, alot, it's like having a coping technique to manage and get by each day, it's also given me comfort to know and realise that when I get low moods that I know they will pass, but I now am a little more cautious in understanding the triggers though, I also talk to those around me and just take one day at a time. If you still find you are struggling them it may well be worth having a catch up with your DSN to see what support is available in your trust.

Thanks @Juicyj, I do try and get out on my mountain bike when I can as you are right it has helped in the past. I think people often don't realise how much there is to actually think about behind the scenes when controlling diabetes.

What sort of thing do you find are triggers for you? Just I sometimes find it pretty difficult to work them out.

 

[Juicyj]

Hi @Michael090382 To be honest it's stress in general, I just try to be more careful when life get's stressy.

The way it was explained to me recently is that we all have a mental cup, which with t1 is already close to the brim, then add life, relationships, work onto this already brimming cup and it flows over, no wonder we get burnt out, however it's just being mindful of all the other things and getting on your bike, out for a run, meditating, whatever floats your boat to help you cope better with it all

 

[Neoncat]

Oh @Michael090382, I wish I could give you a real hug. You are not the only one to struggle with this, if you look back over the forum you will find lots of posts from people who feel the same. It sounds like you already have a lot going on in your life but how about joining a club? (are there cycling clubs, or a new hobby you have always wanted to try?) something with other people that will give you even just a couple of hours to be able to focus on just something you enjoy and give you a mental break. (if you are looking for a recommendation I suggest climbing as it's hard to think about anything else when you are doing it and it is pretty social). Also consider talking to your doctor about it, just having someone to talk to can really help.

 

[Neoncat]

I had my own bout of this last year, I think the clocks changing didn't help as I went from being busy outdoors in the evenings to suddenly spending a lot more time sitting around.

 

[Michael090382]

I had my own bout of this last year, I think the clocks changing didn't help as I went from being busy outdoors in the evenings to suddenly spending a lot more time sitting around.

Hi @Neoncat, I joined a cycling club last year who I go out with once per week normally but it can often get pushed back with my work and as I am back at university. With family life in the mix too the only time I often have to cycle is too and from work. I agree totally with the clocks going back mind, the dark nights don't do much for my mood!

 

[Chook]

You are definitely NOT the only one to get this. A lot of people do but I think anyone with a chronic ailment gets it worse because we have more to contend with on a daily basis anyway.

I only get the 'why me' syndrome badly in the colder months and I've found that getting out, even just a little bit, in the midday sun helps (when there is some) - as does a daily Vit. D tablet.

 

[yoga and diabetes]

Hi Michael090382, hugs and not to mention you are definitely not alone. I would recommend, try 'different'sports activity & not just stick with one... keep exploring, till the best suited sports activity 'finds' you
In my experience, 4 - 5 acupuncture sessions might help as well, along with some mindfulness based yoga or meditation sessions.

 

[emmacheasty]

Dear Michael

You are not alone at all!!
I have a similar journey diagnosed at 4 years old now 37...... constant exposure to medical appointments made me a Doctor by career.....
That for the record does not make me a great diabetic......just a more compassionate doctor!.... i hope
Over the years i have repeatedly battled with low mood which i combatted with exercise, diet and goal planningthese worked in the short term but the episodes returned and increased in frequency despite my best efforts.

Ultimately i sought help through my GP and mental health team. I was diagnosed with depression and have used a combination of medication and pyschotherapy to navigate the road to recovery. Which is completely achieveable!!

We collectively ( society) need to accept that low mood and depression is common in any chronic illness, diabetes is definitely not exempt from this. It is not a failure to feel this way ( i suffered from this mindset initially) and asking for help shows strength and not weakness.

Please see your GP or diabetes specialist team about this....depending on who you have quickest access to!!

I can put my hand on heart and say once i had sought help for this my low mood/ depression (is well controlled) and my feelings of helplessness a thing of the past!

I hope this helps!

Em

 

[leahkian]

HI Micheal i got diabetes aged 3 so i have grew up with it and many of the people on her including me ask our self why me but we do not no the answer. You did nothing to deserve having diabetes most of us don't but there are people out there asking the same thing about having cancer, diabetes chose you as it chose me. I have asked a lot off time whats the point of going on and my reason for going on is my children i would not want to leave them as they have been through so much with diabetes, transplants and there mother moving away. They are my world and i keep fighting each day as if they can come through this and doing so well at school and are well manred children and i would be lost without them. For what has happened is there short lives and what i have put them through due to diabetes, i love them more than anything else and i am so proud of them. They give me hope to carry on. Then there is my parents who had to inject me twice a day and me giving up would lead to them giving up. Then my friends and family who have been there for me and also everyone who has ever looked after me in hospital. Plus then transplant team who did my SPK transplant for me to give in would be a kick in the teeth for them and the family who allowed me to have the organs of a loved one. We are all the same some good and bad days and yes i do not think we will ever stop thinking why me, the truth is i do not no but i do hope that they can find a cure for diabetes so that people will not have to go through what we have to.

 

[NewTD2]

Hi everyone,

Probably best to start with the basics, I was diagnosed with T1 when I was 6 years old, I'm now 35 and over the last few years I have been having episodes of 'why me', 'what did I do to deserve this?' Even down to 'what is the point?' This is all surrounded with an overall feeling of low mood and being totally fed up. There have been times when I can't even be bothered to eat, even when I feel hungry (luckily I am on DAFNE so I can adapt to it).

On a normal day I am the one cracking jokes, smiling, laughing and having fun with the kids in school I work with but at times it is pretty difficult when I feel down. Working in a school supporting children with autism and challenging behaviours can be difficult at the best of times!

I'm hoping this makes sense to someone as I often feel like I am the only one to feel this way. I have tried many different things to get through it over the years

Michael

I’m a practicing Christian and I find comfort in praying, meditation and attending bible studies.

Believe me it does help.

 

[GIBBO1968]

I am type 2. & I struggle. I imagine type 1 to be a nightmare. and hats off to u people who cope with it.