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Giving advice

C

carol43

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,198
Location
South Nottinghamshire
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
A woman in our village who has had T2 for quite a long time, eats what she wants and is over-weight has just posted on Facebook that she has had a toe removed. I feel like sending her a message saying 'if you want to address this issue and not lose any more toes, please talk to me about it' What do I do?
 
carol43 said:
A woman in our village who has had T2 for quite a long time, eats what she wants and is over-weight has just posted on Facebook that she has had a toe removed. I feel like sending her a message saying 'if you want to address this issue and not lose any more toes, please talk to me about it' What do I do?
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It’s worth reaching out.
 
It is never too late. Get in touch with the lady, preferably face to face in private and try to impress on her that there is Hope and that she can make small changes that can make a huge difference to her future. Good Luck, to both of you.
 
The fix has got to come from within the broken person. If she doesn’t want to be fixed, it will never happen. If a talk with could provoke the change, okay! Do it! But she has to be a reciever Of information. Not an excuse maker. Or not a victim.

You’re going into a tough situation. It would be nice if you can provoke her to change. You’re a good person for this.
 
carol43 said:
A woman in our village who has had T2 for quite a long time, eats what she wants and is over-weight has just posted on Facebook that she has had a toe removed. I feel like sending her a message saying 'if you want to address this issue and not lose any more toes, please talk to me about it' What do I do?
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Carol, I will admit this made me smile a bit thinking of you saying that exact thing and her face at receiving it. I am sure you would be very diplomatic and I think you should make contact. Maybe by saying you are type 2 and were sorry to hear this etc, and that you would love to meet up with her for coffee? Then you could say that you too were afraid of 'complications' and so you tried...….low carb etc etc, found a wonderful site.....and the rest is history.
 
It seems to me bizzare that someone would post such a thing unless it was to attract sympathy and attention or alternatively to sort of boast. It seems her eating and other habits are well established.
I would express caution in dealing with such a person. This is only an instinct, but if you should approach her , beware that she may only be interested in being helped and becoming dependent on you but not to change her habits for the better.
 
I really understand your instinct to care for this woman. Her plight may have evoked pity in you and perhaps you want to reach out and give her some words of wisdom from your own experience?
But I'd step back and question what I was getting myself into because as kitedoc mentions she has not asked for the advice and testimony that you may be keen to give. She may reject your 'gift' and feel defensive and angry at your intrusion. Or she might be grateful to have someone listen to her woes without judgement or the offering of solutions. Unless you are willing to spend your time just listening and gaining her trust. I'd steer clear. You live in a village so things could get awkward!
 
Carol, can I ask do you know this lady?, I assumed (probably wrongly) that you did know each other considering you know she is diabetic and about her eating habits?
 
carol43 said:
A woman in our village who has had T2 for quite a long time, eats what she wants and is over-weight has just posted on Facebook that she has had a toe removed. I feel like sending her a message saying 'if you want to address this issue and not lose any more toes, please talk to me about it' What do I do?
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I think you are on to a loser here. You say that she "eats what she wants". If she had been trying to control her diabetes by "healthy eating" then it would be worth trying to persuade her that healthy eating for her = low carb and not the Mediterranean diet or the Eatwell Plate. But if she has determinedly paid no attention to the advice she has surely already been given by her GP and other health professionals, why would she make the harder effort to eat low carb on your say-so?
 
Yes I do know the lady well. When I was first diagnosed I mentioned it to her when we were chatting. That's when she told me that she eats what she likes.

I have sent her a PM on Facebook wishing her a speedy recovery and said that if she wants any advice to let me know as I have my HbA1c in remission. So I have left it up to her.
 
Give it a go. There is a chap at my work who makes me despair, he is type 2 and thinks it is ok to eat what he wants because he will be given medication to correct his very high blood sugar levels. I have given up trying to educate him. He has ignored all my advice and is now having to inject insulin which he believes is a licence to eat anything he wants. If he loses a leg I'm sorry to say but it will serve him right.
 
Ian_Laye said:
Give it a go. There is a chap at my work who makes me despair, he is type 2 and thinks it is ok to eat what he wants because he will be given medication to correct his very high blood sugar levels. I have given up trying to educate him. He has ignored all my advice and is now having to inject insulin which he believes is a licence to eat anything he wants. If he loses a leg I'm sorry to say but it will serve him right.
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This is exactly the advice I was given by an NHS dietician.
 
There have been a couple of comments on this thread that strike me as quite self righteous. No one deserves to lose a leg especially if they have followed medical advice that is decades out of date.
 
Guzzler said:
There have been a couple of comments on this thread that strike me as quite self righteous. No one deserves to lose a leg especially if they have followed medical advice that is decades out of date.
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wow have to agree but we all are different and no matter what we do some times it is not enough keep fighting is all i can say and do daily xxx
 
Guzzler said:
There have been a couple of comments on this thread that strike me as quite self righteous. No one deserves to lose a leg especially if they have followed medical advice that is decades out of date.
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I agree no one deserves amputation with the provisio that if a person has been given some information repeatedly by someone with personal experience of that information, albeit a non professional, and choose to not investigate it in the slightest for themselves then it can be hard to have the same degree of sympathy as one would for someone never given that information at all and more than a little frustration.

After all all of us found our way here and evaluated the low carb message for ourselves by being a little (or a lot) self reliant.

I guess older generations particularly have the dr knows best mentality and obedience to authority (the NHS) attitude that resist this autonomy, possibly coupled with a lack of technological ability or experience to com the research. And this may be passed down within families to younger people.
 
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