- Messages
- 378
- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
- Treatment type
- Insulin
- Dislikes
- Football, Rugby, Sweede, Parsnips, Beetroot
It sounds silly but recently I’ve been struggiling with controlling my diabeties as due to previous incidents i keep getting reminded off when I got diagnosed at age 7 along with my dad always hitting me between age 6-10. Even though I don’t live with him, I’m afraid he’s still at it with my half brother in holland and when I get reminded of my childhood or previous incidents i end up saying something stupid or kicking property.
I’ve always got reminded of that and getting diagnosed and other stuff made it worse. Everytime I try to test/inject I seem to get reminded off it.
Before I had to force myself. But I just can’t anymore.
Also doesn’t help that recently I’ve had thoughts of sucide especially as I got banned by security for 3 months which I feel is unfair for saying something stupid and kicking property which I feel is unfair as I couldn’t control it at the time meaning I won’t be able to celebrate my birthday which is on Tuesday and my friends housemate birthdays coming up. I can’t even meet my friends to go to the cinema as that’s included in the ban. Not to mention I got seen by my manager and customer at work so now I’m on my warning at work I’m even struggiling to do my volunteering at the moment.
I just don’t see the point of even living when I cant see my friends, mum, celebrate my birthday, keep getting targeted, my diabeties, not to mention also in trouble with police, this ban from security, warning from work etc...
it seems like no one likes me at the moment and I’ll loose my friends trust etc...
l just feel like I want to go down to river or run in the road.
I’ve always got reminded of that and getting diagnosed and other stuff made it worse. Everytime I try to test/inject I seem to get reminded off it.
Before I had to force myself. But I just can’t anymore.
Also doesn’t help that recently I’ve had thoughts of sucide especially as I got banned by security for 3 months which I feel is unfair for saying something stupid and kicking property which I feel is unfair as I couldn’t control it at the time meaning I won’t be able to celebrate my birthday which is on Tuesday and my friends housemate birthdays coming up. I can’t even meet my friends to go to the cinema as that’s included in the ban. Not to mention I got seen by my manager and customer at work so now I’m on my warning at work I’m even struggiling to do my volunteering at the moment.
I just don’t see the point of even living when I cant see my friends, mum, celebrate my birthday, keep getting targeted, my diabeties, not to mention also in trouble with police, this ban from security, warning from work etc...
it seems like no one likes me at the moment and I’ll loose my friends trust etc...
l just feel like I want to go down to river or run in the road.