- Messages
- 4
Hi all,
Sorry to intrude on this forum once more. I am a carer for my wife and would like to gather thoughts on a real dilemma that I am in.
My wife is absolutely convinced that she has T2 diabetes. She has many of the symptoms consisted with this including being thirsty, needing toilet regularly, some hair loss, dry skin, migraines, some redness on hands and soles of feet, diarrhea reflux. plus heart palpitations & hyperventilation at times - esp. after food. She also has a huge fear of diabetes, and feels she needs to counteract her diabetes "putting her diabetes in remission" this with an extreme diet of fasting, often going for days at end without eating at all, and when she does it's usually just one meal of chicken and eggs.
The challenge however is that doctors keep telling her that she doesn't have diabetes. She has been checked by multiple NHS doctors (both GP's and in hospital) who all have said that she doesn't have diabetes, and should just eat a healthy balanced diet. As a result she has lost all faith in the NHS. She shes them as being totally dismissive of her symptoms (they rely mainly on blood tests), and they keep referring her for mental health treatments as opposed to addressing diabetic concerns. They see she has having "confirmation bias" (where the brain will only see evidence that supports what you want to believe, and dismisses everything else).
For reference - her current HBa1C is 33, and FBS is normally around 6 when she eats (less on days when doesn't eat)
Due to her distrust of NHS doctors (she sees the NHS in collaboration with big Pharma) she has also engaged a private Endocrinologist who specialises in reversing diabetes. He advised doing a fasting oral glucose tolerance test, which also came back in non-diabetic range. He also advised she to stop monitoring her blood sugars, since this was probably just fueling her anxiety (she insists on using a CGM, as well as measuring finger pricks with 2 different brands of machine) and making things worse.
He also advised her to eat a more normal diet and gain weight (she is underweight). He has also refused to see her again unless it is done in collaboration with a psychiatrist.
I am now in the completely unenviable position of needing to pick a side between my wife and professionals
My gut feel is I should trust the professionals - and 1) put lots to pressure on her to eat more 2) not buy her any more test strips / CGM sensors 3) pursue mental health treatment for her
She is accusing me however of not being caring for her, and wanting her to reach diagnostic levels. She says
1) all diabetics need monitors (totally ignoring most diabetics are diagnosed by doctors, not themselves), and I'm putting her health at jeopardy if I don't
2) the partners of other people on this forum are supporting them though their diabetes - I'm being obstructive and non-supportive
Am I a bad husband if I trust the professionals over my wife instincts?
Am I being unreasonable? What you would you do if you were in this situation? (I just feel so lonely - its a truly awful position to be in )
Sorry to intrude on this forum once more. I am a carer for my wife and would like to gather thoughts on a real dilemma that I am in.
My wife is absolutely convinced that she has T2 diabetes. She has many of the symptoms consisted with this including being thirsty, needing toilet regularly, some hair loss, dry skin, migraines, some redness on hands and soles of feet, diarrhea reflux. plus heart palpitations & hyperventilation at times - esp. after food. She also has a huge fear of diabetes, and feels she needs to counteract her diabetes "putting her diabetes in remission" this with an extreme diet of fasting, often going for days at end without eating at all, and when she does it's usually just one meal of chicken and eggs.
The challenge however is that doctors keep telling her that she doesn't have diabetes. She has been checked by multiple NHS doctors (both GP's and in hospital) who all have said that she doesn't have diabetes, and should just eat a healthy balanced diet. As a result she has lost all faith in the NHS. She shes them as being totally dismissive of her symptoms (they rely mainly on blood tests), and they keep referring her for mental health treatments as opposed to addressing diabetic concerns. They see she has having "confirmation bias" (where the brain will only see evidence that supports what you want to believe, and dismisses everything else).
For reference - her current HBa1C is 33, and FBS is normally around 6 when she eats (less on days when doesn't eat)
Due to her distrust of NHS doctors (she sees the NHS in collaboration with big Pharma) she has also engaged a private Endocrinologist who specialises in reversing diabetes. He advised doing a fasting oral glucose tolerance test, which also came back in non-diabetic range. He also advised she to stop monitoring her blood sugars, since this was probably just fueling her anxiety (she insists on using a CGM, as well as measuring finger pricks with 2 different brands of machine) and making things worse.
He also advised her to eat a more normal diet and gain weight (she is underweight). He has also refused to see her again unless it is done in collaboration with a psychiatrist.
I am now in the completely unenviable position of needing to pick a side between my wife and professionals
My gut feel is I should trust the professionals - and 1) put lots to pressure on her to eat more 2) not buy her any more test strips / CGM sensors 3) pursue mental health treatment for her
She is accusing me however of not being caring for her, and wanting her to reach diagnostic levels. She says
1) all diabetics need monitors (totally ignoring most diabetics are diagnosed by doctors, not themselves), and I'm putting her health at jeopardy if I don't
2) the partners of other people on this forum are supporting them though their diabetes - I'm being obstructive and non-supportive
Am I a bad husband if I trust the professionals over my wife instincts?
Am I being unreasonable? What you would you do if you were in this situation? (I just feel so lonely - its a truly awful position to be in )