- Messages
- 4
- Type of diabetes
- Family member
- Treatment type
- I do not have diabetes
Hi there,
I don't usually post things but I am lost.
My dad was a stay at home dad, my best friend and has always been the handyman of the family. In the last few years his knees has gotten worse and his physical ability has declined. Early this year him and my mother split up, biggest reason was my dad's drug addiction to cocaine. Cocaine has always been around in my life in a recreational way, but my dad took it a bit too extreme. He has gone to treatment for a year but quickly relapsed as soon as he came back.
On top of all of this, my dad has severe depression and is currently unable to work because he is waiting for a double knee replacement (which he won't even get considered if he's using or not managing his diabetes). And his diabetes... Is very poorly managed. When my mom and him were together she would make sure he would take his medications everyday.. she would literally have to bring him a glass of water and his pills and watch him do it or else he wouldn't. When they split up, the first thing I worried about was how my dad was going to cope with it all. I knew he couldnt manage on his own so my husband, my dad and I found a house with a basement suite to live in. I'm only 26 and Carly for my dad fell onto me. My mom would tell me everyday "you have no idea what you're up for" and "you know you're going to have to take care of him now" and I knew... But not to this extent.
His mental and physical health is so out of hand, I don't know what to do anymore. And trust me, I've tried so hard to offer him so much support, and have researched so many support groups for him to look into and done so much for him but I am not a full time nurse. He literally needs 24hr care I swear but he refuses to do so.. and he's only 57 so I can't really force him to do anything. He doesn't take his diabetes medications, or his pain medications, or his antidepressants. He doesn't clean his place... Or himself. I have literally tried dragging him upstairs into the bathroom to shower and he will refuse and tell me to go away and that he's "not ready" .. it's been almost 6 months. He has lost so much weight, I've never seen him so skinny (he was always the big teddy bear kind of guy). He tries to drink water but says it makes him cough... Yet coca Cola is fine? Makes sense hey .. he also barely eats, is so dehydrated and rarely moves because he's been laying down 90% of his days for the past year so he's extremely sore. He was hospitalized a couple of months ago because he went into a diabetic coma with blood sugars over 50, when he came home.. he said he would change but it quickly turned back into the same thing. I've tried so hard to be there for him, clean up for him, make him food, scheduled phone appointments with his doctor (who just tells my dad that he can't help him if he decides not to help himself), feed him his pills, check his blood sugars, go grocery shopping for him... But I can only do so much. He won't allow help from anyone else though. I also have my household to look after too, which includes 2 step kids half time ages 4 and 6, a very long hour hard-working husband and a very energetic dog. I also struggle mentally and have for years, I see a counsellor but she wants me to focus on myself. I can't do that if my dad isn't okay though. My dad has been, and always will be, a huge part of who I am.
I also just found out I am pregnant(10 weeks).. after 2 years of trying with my husband. I never imagined not having my dad around throughout this process, especially once baby comes ... but it's just all too much. I can't leave my dad on his own though, he'd have no where to go and no one left to support him without me.
I don't even know why I'm posting this, I guess maybe for some other people who have maybe gone through something similar? Or I guess any advice at all would help... I love my dad so much, he is my world and it breaks my heart to watch him do this to himself.
I don't usually post things but I am lost.
My dad was a stay at home dad, my best friend and has always been the handyman of the family. In the last few years his knees has gotten worse and his physical ability has declined. Early this year him and my mother split up, biggest reason was my dad's drug addiction to cocaine. Cocaine has always been around in my life in a recreational way, but my dad took it a bit too extreme. He has gone to treatment for a year but quickly relapsed as soon as he came back.
On top of all of this, my dad has severe depression and is currently unable to work because he is waiting for a double knee replacement (which he won't even get considered if he's using or not managing his diabetes). And his diabetes... Is very poorly managed. When my mom and him were together she would make sure he would take his medications everyday.. she would literally have to bring him a glass of water and his pills and watch him do it or else he wouldn't. When they split up, the first thing I worried about was how my dad was going to cope with it all. I knew he couldnt manage on his own so my husband, my dad and I found a house with a basement suite to live in. I'm only 26 and Carly for my dad fell onto me. My mom would tell me everyday "you have no idea what you're up for" and "you know you're going to have to take care of him now" and I knew... But not to this extent.
His mental and physical health is so out of hand, I don't know what to do anymore. And trust me, I've tried so hard to offer him so much support, and have researched so many support groups for him to look into and done so much for him but I am not a full time nurse. He literally needs 24hr care I swear but he refuses to do so.. and he's only 57 so I can't really force him to do anything. He doesn't take his diabetes medications, or his pain medications, or his antidepressants. He doesn't clean his place... Or himself. I have literally tried dragging him upstairs into the bathroom to shower and he will refuse and tell me to go away and that he's "not ready" .. it's been almost 6 months. He has lost so much weight, I've never seen him so skinny (he was always the big teddy bear kind of guy). He tries to drink water but says it makes him cough... Yet coca Cola is fine? Makes sense hey .. he also barely eats, is so dehydrated and rarely moves because he's been laying down 90% of his days for the past year so he's extremely sore. He was hospitalized a couple of months ago because he went into a diabetic coma with blood sugars over 50, when he came home.. he said he would change but it quickly turned back into the same thing. I've tried so hard to be there for him, clean up for him, make him food, scheduled phone appointments with his doctor (who just tells my dad that he can't help him if he decides not to help himself), feed him his pills, check his blood sugars, go grocery shopping for him... But I can only do so much. He won't allow help from anyone else though. I also have my household to look after too, which includes 2 step kids half time ages 4 and 6, a very long hour hard-working husband and a very energetic dog. I also struggle mentally and have for years, I see a counsellor but she wants me to focus on myself. I can't do that if my dad isn't okay though. My dad has been, and always will be, a huge part of who I am.
I also just found out I am pregnant(10 weeks).. after 2 years of trying with my husband. I never imagined not having my dad around throughout this process, especially once baby comes ... but it's just all too much. I can't leave my dad on his own though, he'd have no where to go and no one left to support him without me.
I don't even know why I'm posting this, I guess maybe for some other people who have maybe gone through something similar? Or I guess any advice at all would help... I love my dad so much, he is my world and it breaks my heart to watch him do this to himself.