Terminal and Scared

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kman

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Knowing others Won't learn from my mistakes, Being TERMINALLY ILL !
I am going to the Tabloids with a kiss and tell story-unless Kevin pays me off! He squeezed my melon then dumped me!

FB

Not True. FB Sqeezed my Melon ... then left me to Sqeeze my own. And MID died of shock
 
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kman

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To show you I'm no hero, and the reality of what such badly controlled Diabetes leads too, between my previous two posts the pain got out of control, and I got grumpy and snappy and morbid, Daynes away for the weekend, so just Wendie and me, she took the brunt of my inability to cope, and I took it all out on her,

I'm not proud of it, I'm not happy about it, I just can't control myself, even now it's 1:43 am. And I still can't sleep, 60% pain, 40% guilt, But that is NEVER Ever an excuse, or Forgivable,

Wendie always forgives me, She LOVES Me ! How she can put up with me I don't understand, DON'T Forgive me, Don't let me off or put it down to the pain, Don't make a hero of me, Wendie does that enough already, just know it's not just the physical pain and the dying, it's not just the Body, that out of control diabetes destroys, it's the soul, it's who you are, it's the beauty in your life,,

I pray I Die before I kill my marriage, before I hurt Wendie more than she can just brush off, I may never ever have been violent, but my words cut my Angel every time the pain takes over, I have to fight to keep my self in control, I have to love back like Wendie always does,

DON'T Do this to your Family, DON'T Be me, DON'T Go down my road, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UNDERSTAND.
 
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Mud Island Dweller

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Wendie is also the looser she will loose you so if she gets pleasure in forgiving you take that to help take your guilt away remember she doesn't have long to do that to your face, it isn't your pain moods she loves but your heart,

To make your problem worse and is to late to change.... it grew by every reader we love you in our own way because every post you put you try to change a life by making someone look at themselves. That is some big heart... while you are dying, scared and in pain, you care enough about people you never met to say "hey l am here don't join me", After you are gone your words will stay....lets see what isnt for any of us to love.
 
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CollieBoy

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To show you I'm no hero,
kman,
sorry youre wrong. Heroes don't live gold plated , jewel encrusted lives. they have faults, realise them and work their b*llocks off to try to do the best for everyone despite their faults. You are closer to a hero than you realise. Hope i could be as good in your situation.
 
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kman

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Wendie is also the looser she will loose you so if she gets pleasure in forgiving you take that to help take your guilt away remember she doesn't have long to do that to your face, it isn't your pain moods she loves but your heart,

To make your problem worse and is to late to change.... it grew by every reader we love you in our own way because every post you put you try to change a life by making someone look at themselves. That is some big heart... while you are dying, scared and in pain, you care enough about people you never met to say "hey l am here don't join me", After you are gone your words will stay....lets see what isnt for any of us to love.

Has anyone ever told you your an ANGEL, I still don't believe i should be forgiven, but you put my soul in a better place, Thank You Dear Friend !
 
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kman

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Fergus, i don't know how I can thank you properly, but your reality check helped more than you can know, I am still far from a hero, but I can only hope I'm no monster either, Thank You again my freind,
 
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CollieBoy

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Has anyone ever told you your an ANGEL, I still don't believe i should be forgiven, but you put my soul in a better place, Thank You Dear Friend !
whether you believe it or not that you should be forgiven, others whether it be "the big man" or your family, or friends can (and will) see your redeeming features and celebrate them.
 
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kman

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whether you believe it or not that you should be forgiven, others whether it be "the big man" or your family, or friends can (and will) see your redeeming features and celebrate them.

Thanks Fergus, Whatever I believe, it's nice that people are still out there reading the thread,
 

richard256

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Oh my goodness, what a terribly tragic story, I am so sorry.
I am shocked, I am crying, but my first thoughts are that you are still here, you are still breathing, there has to be some hope. so ok, never be perfect again, but surely its never too late to try and make things better, you need to fight back best as you can, giving up is cheating. Have you read Bernstein Diabetes Solution, read up about managing complications.

http://www.diabetes-book.com/readit.shtml

Kevin, m heart goes out to you, am thinking of you x
HEY EVERYONE IS DIEING
 
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kman

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Morning All, have a rotten headache, but other pain only moderate
 
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Mud Island Dweller

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Sounds a good move given your recent "exploits" see ..... Take this forum 3 times a day on fire and your pain will improve :happy:
 
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kman

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Mud Island Dweller

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Out of hand not a chance... should see me out of hand no on second thoughts don't see me out of hand l am embarrassing giggling out of control then fall asleep..

Brian always said I am a cheap date......about half a glass of wine and l fall over giggling... then fall asleep
 

kman

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Hehehe.. ..... I'm a cheep date too LOL. ... I only ever have 1. drink a year at Christmas !
 

BramHall456

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Kman Im 75 and have terrible neuropathy.read your thread and know how you feel. Trouble is no body in the medical proffesion cares.note you are plyed with drugs which no doubt have horrible side effects.just where do we go from here. Food manufacturers shove suger in everything. Wish they suffered like we do. Inparticulare the kids are having it shoveled down their throats. Tony

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
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