• Guest - w'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the 2025 Survey »

Really Annoyed...And more than a little scared.

XIX

XIX

Active Member
Messages
30
Location
London
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
So I got diagnosed with T1 a couple of weeks ago, and at first I was surprisingly OK with it. Obviously I was shocked as it's a pretty rare disease, and I thought I was past the most common age for diagnosis, but at the time I just wanted to get out of hospital. I went back to uni the Monday after I was discharged and normality resumed.

However, lately I've just been so angry at everything. I know I shouldn't be as everyone around me has been really supportive and there are worst things that could have happened. It's just that it's all so unfair. I know that's how life is but seriously, the chances of me getting this were 17 in 100,000 - that's 0.017%. Yeah, maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket.

People keep telling me that it will get easier, and I believe them. But easier is a comparative....it's never going to be easy, and Iife's already hard enough as it is without this thrown in the mix. It dawned on me the other day that I will never "get better", there won't be a recovery, I'm just going to have to deal with this every single day for the rest of my life. It's rather sad when you realise that you can literally die by eating.

I'm scared because it's a chronic condition with the cure still a good ten years away (at least), I'm scared because I'm a recovered anorexic who used to suffer from anxiety/depression and this is going to make everything bad again. I'm stressed because it's March already and my end of year exams are less than two months away and I don't have the time to go to endless GP appointments and clinics even though I know they're necessary.

It annoys me that there are so many foods out there that I haven't tried and now I probably can't. It really irks me that my stomach is now a plateau of small bruises (yes, I'm very vain :D). I'm just so sick of everything and I would sell my soul to have a normal functioning pancreas that produces insulin.

The worst thing is I'm a biomed student so I know exactly what's going to happen if I don't manage my diabetes properly. I also know that even with proper management I might still get complications. Because even if it's a small percentage, I'm part of the 0.017%.

(Sorry that this is basically a reeeeally long rant)

XIX
 
Get it off your chest, its hard when you are young to realise this is for life. But its not the end of your life, there are loads and loads of old diabetics walking around. A good book to read is Dr Bernstein' s diabetes solution. He's a type 1 doctor, and has lots of good info in his book.
Good luck.
 
Hi,
Have a rant whenever u need to,
i was pretty peeved when i got type 1 as i was the only diabetic i knew, no family members had it etc, anyway ive since got many more illnesses and none of them diabetic related and tbh diabetes is the one i least worry about, i think its because im the one in charge and can do things about whereas my other illnesses i cant,
look forward to hearing more from you:)
 
We all felt like this at some stage honey, you're not on your own.

Indiana x


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Hi and welcome to the party !!

What your going through is completely normal, I was 38 when diagnosed, you can imagine how hacked off I was !!

Let's look at the positives as to be honest it's not worth looking at the negatives..

You sound a very intelliegent person, which is very useful in becoming an expert of this.
You already have a good understanding of the condition so you know taking insulin is key to managing your condition.
Unless you wear cropped tops a lot - where you inject no one needs to know.
You are special, everyone I meet with this has an amazing inner quality, so let it shine.

My only advice is that you find some where to practice meditation, as you have said you have suffered anxiety and with exams looming either find a class or buy a cd, it will really help I promise.

Good luck, stay strong and keep in touch ;)
 
It is normal to go through a grieving process when newly diagnosed with T1 diabetes, you will have a lot of adjustments to make in your life about things which none diabetics take for granted, for instance balancing food with insulin doses, blood sugar results etc etc. I always percieve diabetes as a mountain we have to climb within ourselves, we reach the summit when we achieve good blood sugar control and we start to feel good about ourselves and life in general.

It does get better, just hang in there and stay positive I'm sure you will be fine.
 
XIX said:
So I got diagnosed with T1 a couple of weeks ago, and at first I was surprisingly OK with it. Obviously I was shocked as it's a pretty rare disease, and I thought I was past the most common age for diagnosis, but at the time I just wanted to get out of hospital. I went back to uni the Monday after I was discharged and normality resumed.

However, lately I've just been so angry at everything. I know I shouldn't be as everyone around me has been really supportive and there are worst things that could have happened. It's just that it's all so unfair. I know that's how life is but seriously, the chances of me getting this were 17 in 100,000 - that's 0.017%. Yeah, maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket.

People keep telling me that it will get easier, and I believe them. But easier is a comparative....it's never going to be easy, and Iife's already hard enough as it is without this thrown in the mix. It dawned on me the other day that I will never "get better", there won't be a recovery, I'm just going to have to deal with this every single day for the rest of my life. It's rather sad when you realise that you can literally die by eating.

I'm scared because it's a chronic condition with the cure still a good ten years away (at least), I'm scared because I'm a recovered anorexic who used to suffer from anxiety/depression and this is going to make everything bad again. I'm stressed because it's March already and my end of year exams are less than two months away and I don't have the time to go to endless GP appointments and clinics even though I know they're necessary.

It annoys me that there are so many foods out there that I haven't tried and now I probably can't. It really irks me that my stomach is now a plateau of small bruises (yes, I'm very vain :D). I'm just so sick of everything and I would sell my soul to have a normal functioning pancreas that produces insulin.

The worst thing is I'm a biomed student so I know exactly what's going to happen if I don't manage my diabetes properly. I also know that even with proper management I might still get complications. Because even if it's a small percentage, I'm part of the 0.017%.

(Sorry that this is basically a reeeeally long rant)

XIX
Click to expand...
sorry, not sure what happened above - regarding your anger - i found that the most difficult thing was realising that i was no longer 'free', in the sense that i was not independently alive any more, and probably never would be. The shock fades, but it is something that is not easy to explain to others. The positives are that you are in much better position now than someone who became type one 35 or so years ago . You have probably been diagnosed quite early, and not in a coma, as i was, so you may still have some of your own insulin, and there are a lot more management tools out there and a lot more help to make life more like normality. And there is a real chance of a cure while you are still young. Certainly there is better treatment for any complications, and these treatments will go on improving.
 
Hi there, I too have been recently diagnosed (January) and feel very much the same as you do.

Just taking it one day at a time really.
 
Thank you for your replies everyone, I genuinely wasn't expecting to get so many so quickly. :) I think I'm just struggling with having to suddenly adapt to a new way of life, but maybe that's not such a terrible thing in the long run (my eating habits before diagnosis weren't exactly the definition of health). It's just a relief to finally get it all out, and to see that I'm not the only person to have felt this way.
 
Hello XIX,

You write that you're a biomed student. And naturally, you now have a personal interest in diabetes. But especially since you perhaps didn't have any particular interest in diabetes before, I would be very interested in what you have to say about something that puzzles me.

I'm not at all puzzled by the difficulty I've had hitherto in getting an answer that makes good sense to me, not least because what I'm about to write is a bit controversial.

I have needed to take insulin for thirty years. Most of the time, I believe my management has been fairly good. But a few years ago, whilst I was making a particular effort to keep my blood sugar fairly near normal, I discovered that simply by eating rye bread steadily throughout the day I became far less vulnerable to hypos.

I keep my blood sugar near normal throughout the waking hours. Sure, I very often get low blood sugar readings during those waking hours. (I test my blood sugar a lot, mostly using the highly economical visually read testing strips.) But this is not a problem because I find that the onset of hypoglycaemic symptoms is far less immediate, and far less immediately overcoming, than it used to be. (Believe it or not, what I've written in this paragraph is the controversial bit.)

That's not to say I don't have to be careful. But before, having a hypo was a bit like falling off a cliff. (I retain a good memory of the waking hypos I've had.) Now it's very different: now it's more like stepping over the crest of a windswept sand dune - I get a chance to climb back up.

So, what do you think it might be about steadily eating rye bread during the day that brings about this highly moderating effect on my blood sugar? And why might it be that I can fairly relaxedly tolerate low blood sugar readings which, before, would have seen me crash to the floor before I could reach the fridge for some fruit juice?
 
Diabetes is a life saver actually.

I been t1 for nigh on 30 years. Would I have looked after myselfand all the gp blood tests if I hadnt been-no.....I know personally I am a lot healthier and wiser for having diabetes....




Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
Probably because your levels on a long term basis have fewer swing ranges in them due to ryebread or better monitoring or other different lifestyle change etc.
Hypo's do change according to whether your levels are fluctuating or whether they are staying within the 5-8 ranges consistently. Rye bread may well be the stabilising factor in your levels, which then improving your hypo awareness.




Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
XIX - I just got diagnosed 3 months ago, and i was seriously ****** off - just the feeling of no longer being free, and having to check yourself etc, i am still coming to terms with it. But in the last 3 months i am trying to put things into perspective - It could be worse we, could have been told we have MS or cancer - a real death sentence. At least we can still enjoy our lives. I have done alot of research like i am sure you have - there are things on the market that make life easier like CGM's (Dexcom) and pumps. The sooner we can get these (i already have the CGM and it is great peice of mind ) the easier things will become over time - At the end of the day we have to deal with it, if we dont we are dead, so its a bit like.............i dont know what - a pain in the **** - and i get annoyed when out etc, but i think the main thing is to remain positive - i go to a diabetes suport group once a month, and it is interesting to talk to others and here from their experiences.
 
Hi, apologies if I'm going over covered ground as I didn't read all the replies. I don't know what age you are so not sure what exams you're doing, but schools/colleges are OBLIGED to give extenuating circumstances for medial conditions such as diabetes, especially when newly diagnosed.

I know what you mean. I get depression a lot (mainly for other reasons) but sometimes I just go through "That's it, I'm done with this ****" phases with diabetes. You do pick up and plod on though, and as cheesy as it sounds, injecting now really is just like brushing my teeth. Just part of my routine. Hope you feel better :)
 
XIX said:
Thank you for your replies everyone, I genuinely wasn't expecting to get so many so quickly. :) I think I'm just struggling with having to suddenly adapt to a new way of life, but maybe that's not such a terrible thing in the long run (my eating habits before diagnosis weren't exactly the definition of health). It's just a relief to finally get it all out, and to see that I'm not the only person to have felt this way.
Click to expand...
I was diagnosed about a year ago I'm also in uni (doing a chem degree with electives in biomed) I felt then very much the way you do now and I can honestly say what brought me the most comfort and satisfaction was gaining knowledge on how to control my blood levels, the effects of different macronutrients and metabolic factors etc. So the advice I would give is: accumulate as much knowledge as you can and just control the hell out of your levels. You have almost complete control of your diabetes there's no need to increase the risk of complications, just get a firm handle on it now and you'll be grateful for it in the future.
 
So, Omar101, please may I ask your opinion: what do you think it might be about a rye-based diet - in which I eat rye bread steadily throughout most the day - that brings about a highly moderating effect on my blood sugar?

And moreover, why might it be that - with such a rye-based diet - I can fairly relaxedly tolerate low blood sugar readings which, before, would have seen me crash to the floor before I could reach the fridge for some fruit juice?

My past few HbA1C readings have all been 27mmol/mol.
 
michaeldavid said:
So, Omar101, please may I ask your opinion: what do you think it might be about a rye-based diet - in which I eat rye bread steadily throughout most the day - that brings about a highly moderating effect on my blood sugar?

And moreover, why might it be that - with such a rye-based diet - I can fairly relaxedly tolerate low blood sugar readings which, before, would have seen me crash to the floor before I could reach the fridge for some fruit juice?

My past few HbA1C readings have all been 27mmol/mol.
Click to expand...
When you say you eat it throughout the day do you mean at meals and in between meals? If thats the case then my best guess would be that you are running two basals in a sense one of slow releasing insulin and slow releasing sugar so any changes in bs levels will be more moderate(up or down).
With regard to whole rye; rye has a similar fibre content to wheat however the ratio of soluble fibre to insoluble fibre in rye is much higher and may slow the rate of digestion. However it is more likely that rye releases sugars much slower than wheat breads due to the difference in it's polysaccharide and botanical structures.
http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/78/5/957.full
http://www.nutritionj.com/content/8/1/42
http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/75/2/254.full

Thats the most I can think of off the top of my head for now but I'll probably look specifically into rye bread soon since I've been typically avoiding most breads due to how quick they release glucose.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
michaeldavid said:
Hello XIX,

You write that you're a biomed student. And naturally, you now have a personal interest in diabetes. But especially since you perhaps didn't have any particular interest in diabetes before, I would be very interested in what you have to say about something that puzzles me.

I'm not at all puzzled by the difficulty I've had hitherto in getting an answer that makes good sense to me, not least because what I'm about to write is a bit controversial.

I have needed to take insulin for thirty years. Most of the time, I believe my management has been fairly good. But a few years ago, whilst I was making a particular effort to keep my blood sugar fairly near normal, I discovered that simply by eating rye bread steadily throughout the day I became far less vulnerable to hypos.

I keep my blood sugar near normal throughout the waking hours. Sure, I very often get low blood sugar readings during those waking hours. (I test my blood sugar a lot, mostly using the highly economical visually read testing strips.) But this is not a problem because I find that the onset of hypoglycaemic symptoms is far less immediate, and far less immediately overcoming, than it used to be. (Believe it or not, what I've written in this paragraph is the controversial bit.)

That's not to say I don't have to be careful. But before, having a hypo was a bit like falling off a cliff. (I retain a good memory of the waking hypos I've had.) Now it's very different: now it's more like stepping over the crest of a windswept sand dune - I get a chance to climb back up.

So, what do you think it might be about steadily eating rye bread during the day that brings about this highly moderating effect on my blood sugar? And why might it be that I can fairly relaxedly tolerate low blood sugar readings which, before, would have seen me crash to the floor before I could reach the fridge for some fruit juice?
Click to expand...


michaeldavid said:
So, Omar101, please may I ask your opinion: what do you think it might be about a rye-based diet - in which I eat rye bread steadily throughout most the day - that brings about a highly moderating effect on my blood sugar?

And moreover, why might it be that - with such a rye-based diet - I can fairly relaxedly tolerate low blood sugar readings which, before, would have seen me crash to the floor before I could reach the fridge for some fruit juice?

My past few HbA1C readings have all been 27mmol/mol.
Click to expand...


Hi, sorry for not replying sooner.

From what I've read, it appears that rye bread produces a lower postprandial insulin response than normal bread due to differences in biochemistry. Rye bread has more fibre (although there have been studies to show that this doesn't make a difference) and contains more complex polysaccharides. Also, apparently, rye bread has amylases (enzymes that break down starches into sugar) which are more heat resistant, although I have to admit I have no idea how that helps.

It could be that, due to the lowered postprandial insulin response, you think that it is having a moderating effect when it's actually just not spiking your BG as much as you expected it to (as the carb content per 100g is still pretty high)? Like for e.g., I could say that eating ham is having a moderating effect on my BG when in reality it's just not raising my BG very much.

This could be totally wrong as I'm not a bread expert (or a diabetes expert for that matter).

As for the changes in your hypos, I think that donnellysdogs is right in that it's because your BG is normally well controlled so it's less of a shock for your body when it drops a bit too low. I remember being desperate to get my BG down from the upper 20s when I was in hospital to the 5-8 range straightaway only to be told by the nurse that my body wouldn't be able to handle such a drastic change. After all, your body has evolved for so many years to be perfect at controlling everything within very narrow limits (BG, carbon dioxide levels, temperature etc.)
 
Thanks very much for your response.

Actually, I don't take any significant amount of long-acting insulin at all: I take just a tiny amount of Insulatard last thing at night. (This prevents my blood sugar rising overnight.)

I take 11 units of Actrapid first thing in the morning, then a further 11 units at 11.00am. Also, I take 6 units of Novorapid at 4.00pm. (I find that the effects of the 11.00am Actrapid and the afternoon Novorapid both run out together at 12.00 midnight.)

I check my blood sugar at 11.00pm. And so long as I didn't eat unwisely during the evening, I know that my blood sugar will fall by 2mmol/l by 12.00 midnight. (If my blood sugar is 4mmol/l at 11.00 - which it usually is, more or less - then I know I need to eat half a slice of the Co-Op's wholemeal wheat bread to balance the fall of 2mmol/l.)

Without the 'basal' insulin, I know that I will sleep safely. And I start each day anew.

So, to answer your question, I start off eating rye bread slowly. And as the insulin kicks in, I eat more, and then again more. I continue eating it until 4.00. (It's very good with Biona Pear & Apple Spread.) I don't eat any after 4.00pm. (If I did, then my blood sugar would become elevated later in the evening and perhaps even overnight.) And I find that the blood-sugar moderating effect lasts throughout the evening. (I'll explain what I mean below.)

I eat other stuff too, of course. But I never have to do any 'carb counting'. I only need to check my blood sugar quite a lot: on average, once per waking hour. (Mostly I use the ultra-cheap and thoroughly reliable Betachek Visual or Glucoflex-R - they're produced by an Australian company, incidentally.) I find that I eat around 225g of rye bread per day.

Apparently, what I do is called 'feeding the insulin'. And without the rye bread, I couldn't possibly do that safely.

And indeed I find it very striking that, even at 11.00pm, I can comfortably tolerate low blood-sugar readings - and relaxedly take action - which previously would have left me on the floor.
 
Omar101 said:
I was diagnosed about a year ago I'm also in uni (doing a chem degree with electives in biomed) I felt then very much the way you do now and I can honestly say what brought me the most comfort and satisfaction was gaining knowledge on how to control my blood levels, the effects of different macronutrients and metabolic factors etc. So the advice I would give is: accumulate as much knowledge as you can and just control the hell out of your levels. You have almost complete control of your diabetes there's no need to increase the risk of complications, just get a firm handle on it now and you'll be grateful for it in the future.
Click to expand...

Thanks, that's exactly what I plan on doing - I was actually choosing my modules for next year before I was hospitalised and Endocrinology was one of my choices aha. The irony wasn't lost on me.
 
Back
Top