• Guest - w'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the 2025 Survey »

Help! I have so much weight to lose

When we go to the US i take the clothes im standing in and buy buy buy when im there, the clothes over there are awesome and cheap, i put a suitcase in a suitcase for the return journey

Dont get me started about amsterdam, been a hundred times.....maybe it was the hash cakes that made me diabetic lol
 
Andy12345 said:
When we go to the US i take the clothes im standing in and buy buy buy when im there, the clothes over there are awesome and cheap, i put a suitcase in a suitcase for the return journey

Dont get me started about amsterdam, been a hundred times.....maybe it was the hash cakes that made me diabetic lol
Click to expand...
Yes Andy, hubby Is taking very little with him, but I don't need new clothes in this size because I am not going to be this size for very long. While I was sorting out my wardrobe yesterday I found 9 pairs of jeans/trousers which now fit me again so I actually had a choice of what to take this time. I may buy more trainers though...... I don't feel the urge to buy shoes in great quantities like I used to....just trainers.

OK one final attempt at finding those dollars.

Hubby is not happy at missing the match tonight....but HE booked the trip.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Yay! found the dollars...well all except the ones my son borrowed in March...we'll have to save those for next time. I really am going now, 'byeeeeeeeeeeee.
 
zand said:
Yay! found the dollars...well all except the ones my son borrowed in March...we'll have to save those for next time. I really am going now, 'byeeeeeeeeeeee.
Click to expand...
Have a great trip!
 
zand said:
So maybe I'm more approachable now? Maybe being so honest and open on this thread is changing me?
Click to expand...
Zand
I am just catching up with the forum and your thread after being away from wifi etc for a week.
I know you are away now, hurrah, enjoy! This YOUR thread is inspirational. Your honesty and humility in trusting us with your innermost thoughts is such a great help to me, and I suspect others too. I love the way you reflect on stuff and then come back after analysing it sometimes changing an opinion, either your own or someone else's.
I think you are showing great courage in starting and maintaining use of this thread. I wish I could be so open. Thank you for trusting us with your fears and triumphs. If you read back from the beginning it is amazing what you have achieved.

Be proud
Pipp
 
zand said:
This is going to be another difficult post for me because I will be revealing far too much of the real me, but luckily I am going to be really busy for the next few days so my available computer time will be less so I will have a while to recover from it.

Well, I should have listened to you all, it's not safe walking where I walk every day but I am addicted to it now and just need that 'fix' every day. This morning I left the house at 4.45 and walked one of the longer routes. Then I heard a familiar voice....the lady with the dogs....she said 'Hello' (Yes,stupidly I forgot about the Hell bit...) I was totally unprepared for what happened next because my brain heard my mouth saying "Oh, hi, can I walk with you for a bit?" My brain was screaming "NO DON'T DO THIS", but the rest of me had other ideas. She showed me her route, we talked for 10 whole minutes and we watched the sunrise together. This was not in my plan at all, I have no wish to even begin to get to know any more women, I have three close female friends (who don't know each other) and I do not want to give anyone else even the slightest chance of getting into my life. I cannot risk getting hurt again.

OK, a bit of background information. I was an only child, we had a farm. During my pre-school years I only socialised with 3 of my cousins (boys) and 2 neighbours (boys). When I got to school the teacher sat me next to a boy who was slightly older saying 'there, a quiet boy and a quiet girl together'. When the class was moved around a few weeks later I found myself sitting next to a girl and we became friends. One day 2 new girls (sisters) turned up and my friend said that she wasn't my friend anymore because she wanted to play with these 2 new girls. I said 'OK, but I am still your friend' and went off to play with the boys. We had nick names in the first couple of years at school, mine was Cassie (after Cassius Clay, because I won all my fights....do you see how appropriate that quote from Rocky was now?) I stopped fighting at about age 7 and from ages 7-11 I had quite a few friends who were girls.

I helped my dad on the farm quite a bit and that's how I messed up the joint in my left foot. He used to get me to help him unhitch wagons from the tractor and one day, when I was 14, he had a 'new' wagon which was in fact a lot older than his others, and the drawbar was heavy - iron, so when I tried to hold it loosely with one hand as he drove away it was too heavy and I dropped it on my foot. The thing is, I was concentrating on getting out of the way quickly because the tractors never had decent brakes, so I never really thought about the rest of the equation. My dad was annoyed because there was work to do and I had fainted with the pain, he simply said "well since you're hurt so you'd better drive the tractor."

So back to this morning, why did I make the stupid mistake of talking to that woman? - because of this thread, because I have enjoyed chatting to all of you, male and female, and that has lulled me into a false sense of security. This is fine because you're not real, I just have to flick a switch and you're not there anymore. I also only ever speak to you from one room, even when I am borrowing my son's laptop, it's always the same room, you can't invade the rest of the house. I kind of wish I had stuck to my original plan, which was to tell you very little and just do updates, but TBH that would have been pointless, it wouldn't have worked. So here I am confused and scared again. The songs in my head today are - I believe in you - Sinead O'Connor ( a good friend lent me this to help me through a really bad time, I have cried to the words of that song so many times) and The Scientist - Coldplay because it isn't easy, this is the hardest thing I have ever done, but hey Jamrox you are right I am facing my demons and they are all going to be kicked out of my life, all except one which I will have to learn to cope with better.

Click to expand...
Oh zand, the risk of opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt again, versus the possibility of finding a true friend. Was it really a mistake to talk to the dog walking woman? Was is a pleasant experience to watch the sunrise together? You are in control of what to do and say in future encounters. You can choose to walk away, or have superficial conversations, or not. Life is full of risks, and we can be hurt by other people, but if we don't sometimes take a risk we may miss out on the enrichment that can come from sharing lives with others. The dog walking woman could just have been feeling that she was taking a big risk talking to you, but it is also likely that you enhanced and enriched her day by accompanying her. Just as you are enhancing and enriching the forum posts by your honest and open contributions.
Thank you
 
zand said:
thanks, yes I did need a hug. I'm just not sure about the holiday 'cos it's just me and hubby and I won't have anyone to talk to!
Click to expand...
You will. Talk to him! Big risk, I know I have had that same feeling. First holiday without our kids, who were stroppy late teens, I was dreading because we had not been just a couple for ages. Always Mum and Dad, no time for us. I wondered what we would talk about. Well, it was just great not having to appease and pacify the little tyrants. I started to talk about stuff that had been kept secret to me because there were 'demons' in my life that I thought I could never reveal. And do you know what? That brought us closer, even though I thought I was risking rejection.
 
Pipp said:
You will. Talk to him! Big risk, I know I have had that same feeling. First holiday without our kids, who were stroppy late teens, I was dreading because we had not been just a couple for ages. Always Mum and Dad, no time for us. I wondered what we would talk about. Well, it was just great not having to appease and pacify the little tyrants. I started to talk about stuff that had been kept secret to me because there were 'demons' in my life that I thought I could never reveal. And do you know what? That brought us closer, even though I thought I was risking rejection.
Click to expand...

There now, look what you made me do, take a risk of being open and honest, just like you zand. Running away to hide a bit now coz that was scary!
Pipp
 
zand said:
Yes Debmcgee, that's what I chose in the end too, it's much more feminine. I realised in horror that if I go swimming people would see my legs too - no one has seen them for many years! - so it's going to be a challenge to say the least.
Click to expand...
Ace, zand! You are going swimming!!
 
I was worried when we went away without the daughters but it was lovely. We pleased ourself and no stroppy teenagers...fab ...

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
Hi Zand, how is the metformin going? Is it showing any benefits? Apologies if you've gone through this on here; I don't have as much time as I'd like to read up on everything.

Best

Dillinger
 
Dear Zand:
Even though I am new here I am not new to diabetes 2. I have some very useful information for you, you can use and it's all free: Go to:
myfitnesspal.com. It's free and one of the best food diaries I have ever seen. You can also log in your exercise in detail. It will give you all your macros, you can the amount of daily calories. I'm 60 and have to lose 105 also. A great site. It's really only a matter of knowing the amount of calories a food contains. It will also do full recipes and amounts per person or serving. I found this in my recipes which include cookies and other desserts small changes like going from 1 T of this to 1 fsp of that, going from 1/2 cup of this to 1/3 cup of that makes a huge difference. My weight is coming off now like 1-2 pounds per week just be being in control with the knowledge of 1. What the macro splits are how much protein, carbs and fat, sodium and sugar and calories I am eating per day.
Leptin: Losing and gain weight is all about the hormone Leptin which is naturally occurring in our bodies. Women actually have more it than men do. The question is just like insulin sensitivity, Leptin sensitivity is equally important. It's one thing to make Leptin and another to have Leptin sensitive. Please google the hormone Leptin. One thing that interferes with and stops Leptin sensitive is sleeping disorders. Leptin builds in our bodyies 4 hours after our last meal. Leptin sensitivity builds between 12 and 2 am. Eating between 11am- 6pm is ideal. Circadian signals have a lot to with leptin sensitivity. I gained my weight because of depression caused by suppressed memory of an early childhood trauma which came to light 2 years ago and I gain over 100 pounds. "Thanks Dad".
From what I know all health and disease starts with the amount of oxygen at the cellular level. Hydrogen Peroxide food grade is a good place to start with 2 drops in a glass of water and build to 8-10 drops per day. Take away from food. 3 hours after eating or 1 hour before eating a good time in early in the morning 1 hours before breakfast. Also you may be already doing this but start taking at least one live fresh fruit to 4 live veggies per day. Nothing frozen or cooked (oxygen). Also it has been proven the a mini trampoline, the up and down movement is one of the best and fastest way of removing toxins from the body. Start with only 1 minute can do a lot of good build to 5 mins best time first thing in the morning after your H202. I believe statin cause cancer and have read many papers on it and know someone who died from it. Remember you control your doctor they don't control you. I hope some of this helps.
 
Zand is away on holiday at the moment, I'm sure she will respond when she gets back :)
 
Dillinger said:
Hi Zand, how is the metformin going? Is it showing any benefits? Apologies if you've gone through this on here; I don't have as much time as I'd like to read up on everything.

Best

Dillinger
Click to expand...

Yes, the metformin, well I have not had any nasty side effects like some people, so that makes life easier. I think it is helping me thanks, but as I have recently changed my diet ( consuming more calories ) and exercise plan ( a 6-10 mile walk every 10 days or so ) in an effort to shake my metabolism into action, it's difficult to give you a definitive answer right now. Also I have just come back from a week's holiday and well let's just say my intake of carbs (solid and liquid) was a lot higher than I had intended, so when I get myself back on track I'll let you know how it's going then, because that will be a better test as I have added too many variables recently which may have muddied the waters. Sorry I can't give you a more precise answer at the moment, thanks for asking.
 
@Kristinak thanks for all of that. I will re-read it when I have enough mental energy to take it all in - I have just got back from a very enjoyable but tiring holiday. Yes I believe my own suppressed childhood memories have caused my depression and weight gain too. Sorry this is such a short reply, I just wanted to thank you as soon as I was able.
 
Thanks peacetrain. Yes we had a fantastic holiday, I wanted to stay there. I'll post some photos later.
 
Back
Top