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Who would it be

Andy12345

Andy12345

Expert
Messages
6,342
Location
Surrey
Type of diabetes
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
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Doctors
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Hi, someone put this on facebook today, just one of those ignorable things we are bombarded with, but after id seen it i spent a long time thinking about it, not the who but the what would i say, it was a nice thought sitting chatting with my old man for an hour, so i thought id share it with you guys.

sorry for the cryptic thread title, but i couldnt write the whole title
 
Yep, definitely my Dad. My Mum died of cancer, so we had 2 and a half years to chat and say everything we wanted to say. My Dad died after bowel problems and a couple of operations 19 days later, I had assumed I would have longer with him after my Mum died and left a lot of things unsaid and then it was too late. I did 'write him a letter' afterwards, but I would love the chance to tell him he was right about so many things, in fact he was right about everything, I just couldn't see it then.

Thanks for this Andy
 
I'd love to have had the opportunity to chat to Frank Sinatra for an hour. I've read a few of his books and he's got some great stories I'd love to know more about, Monroe, Kennedy, Giancana, Luciano ? The list is endless. Maybe not as good a reply as chatting with my dad but I as lucky enough to have done that many times.
 
i thank godness i had taken to giving my dad a hug when we left the last couple of years defore he popped hes cloggs, as he died watching the telly unexpectedly, so the last moment i spent with him with a hug, but boy oh boy what id give to chat with him for an hour :) if you take out the drinking i strive and will always fail to be as good a dad as he was :)
 
I wish I had chatted to my Gran more, she was shuttled between two sons one being my Dad. She was such a quiet lady who lost my Granddad in WW1. So I never knew him or my Mums parents who died before I was born. I feel I took her so much for granted.
 
OK Andy, I knew you're an intuitive man, but this is ridiculous. I now realise the real reason why I have been struggling all day....tomorrow is the 18th anniversary of my Mum dying. My Dad started to get ill 2 days later. Most years I don't even think of them in June anymore, but this year I have started to lose weight and this is making me face things I haven't faced before. My emotions are all over the place now that I am not damping them down with food or drink or anything else. So I have spent time this evening sitting on that bench chatting to him, and do you know what I just realised.....I didn't need to tell him because we were so close he knew anyway. The reason we didn't talk much over the last year or so was so that he could get some time off from looking after my Mum when I was there to help out. So I gave him time to go to doctors, dentist appointments and see his friends to talk to them about his feelings. I always thought I had let him down whilst caring too much for my Mum, but I didn't.

Yes I am crying as I type this, but they are happy tears.

Now......how much do I owe you for the counselling session?
 
Wow! thats very cool :) thanks

account number 37463223
sort code 21 44 33







edit: before i get told off, no that isnt my bank account
 
Daisy tugela ( second name relates to the end of the boar war 1900)
I did not got the chance to meet her , I discovered I was born on her birthday ......
Daisy died of starvation after having my mother her 11th child
She was a silk weaver and hatter.....I love buying second hand charity shop hats .... the working conditions were so poor , and so many people living in those 2 roomed back to back,houses.....
I would love to know my grandmother daisy ......X just for that time given.
 
Andy12345 said:
1508109_10152025174212713_1585264997_n.jpg





Hi, someone put this on facebook today, just one of those ignorable things we are bombarded with, but after id seen it i spent a long time thinking about it, not the who but the what would i say, it was a nice thought sitting chatting with my old man for an hour, so i thought id share it with you guys.

sorry for the cryptic thread title, but i couldnt write the whole title
Click to expand...
That is a lovely thought X
 
If I could I'd chat to my birth mother. See if she thought she made the right choices in life. I'd tell her I thought she made the right decision cos I had wonderful adoptive parents. I'd thank her for leaving me in a posh part of London but the cardboard box in February wasn't a brilliant idea. Also to get some family medical history, see if I was destined to get diabetes or if I can expect any more nasties popping up.



Smartie xx
 
smartlady said:
If I could I'd chat to my birth mother. See if she thought she made the right choices in life. I'd tell her I thought she made the right decision cos I had wonderful adoptive parents. I'd thank her for leaving me in a posh part of London but the cardboard box in February wasn't a brilliant idea. Also to get some family medical history, see if I was destined to get diabetes or if I can expect any more nasties popping up.


Smartie xx
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what cool story :) i reckon thats why she left you, so you would have a really cool story to tell at dinner parties :) i dont normal do virtual hugs, but anyone with that story gets one ((hug))
 
Andy. Andy! Here I am watching the roses game, before that the D day celebrations. Been a bit of a day!
My eldest brothers birthday. He was born on D Day, died 2 years ago. Cancer! Loved to play and watch cricket.
I've been thinking about him all day. You just don't get those days back. He has great company up there, my parents and my other brother, my grandparents. Good family. Miss them all!
They will always be in my heart!
 
I would chat to my paternal grandma. She was born in 1880 and died in 1975. For the last 10 years of her life she lived with us.

She gave birth to my dad in 1915, unmarried. When I was about 16 I first discovered she had never married, and being 16 and nosey, I asked her who my dad's father was. She started to cry, then simply said "The ****** went off to war and never came back".

Despite many years of researching, asking relatives, I have never been able to find my grandfather. I don't even know his name. She took this with her to her grave. Even my dad didn't know. I feel as though I have lost an entire quarter of my roots.
 
Bluetit1802 said:
I would chat to my paternal grandma. She was born in 1880 and died in 1975. For the last 10 years of her life she lived with us.

She gave birth to my dad in 1915, unmarried. When I was about 16 I first discovered she had never married, and being 16 and nosey, I asked her who my dad's father was. She started to cry, then simply said "The ****** went off to war and never came back".

Despite many years of researching, asking relatives, I have never been able to find my grandfather. I don't even know his name. She took this with her to her grave. Even my dad didn't know. I feel as though I have lost an entire quarter of my roots.
Click to expand...
Hi bluetit snap , my grandfather was father unknown .....it leaves a big gap.....I tried joining roots chat for family history research a few years ago ....but no ones telling ....I am sure family members may of known but they are not hear now , bless them ....secrets were kept well hidden then ...
 
I would like to meet my mum,she died when I was 18 months old...I would love to know if she watches over me ,I would love to tell her that although I don't know her,I want to tell her that the saying " You can't miss some thing if you never had it " is not true...I have missed my Mother all my life,and I still do,I wish I had her to comfort me through the start of my Diabetes,I would tell her I love you mum...xox
 
Kat100 said:
Hi bluetit snap , my grandfather was father unknown .....it leaves a big gap.....I tried joining roots chat for family history research a few years ago ....but no ones telling ....I am sure family members may of known but they are not hear now , bless them ....secrets were kept well hidden then ...
Click to expand...

I'm sure they had their reasons, but it can be very hard to deal with. I was told a family secret just like this and sworn to secrecy and I'm afraid eventually I told the woman concerned who her father was. It was cruel to keep it from her. She had been searching for info for years. She had a right to know her history and to know that her Mum fought hard to keep her.
 

powerful stuff indeed, sorry for posting a song but its going around in my head as i read your stories,
 
zand said:
I'm sure they had their reasons, but it can be very hard to deal with. I was told a family secret just like this and sworn to secrecy and I'm afraid eventually I told the woman concerned who her father was. It was cruel to keep it from her. She had been searching for info for years. She had a right to know her history and to know that her Mum fought hard to keep her.
Click to expand...
Thank you zand , all that went on , and was never told .....
Nice to know you put someone's mind at rest .....history is a strange and interesting subject .....so I discovered ....
When getting my grandfathers cert of death it became clear that his mothers name my gt grandmother was used, it was 1906 without the tv to watch .
And so many husbands were lost to TB ....etc
Shame now because I will never know ....but lots went on I know . :)
 
smartlady said:
If I could I'd chat to my birth mother. See if she thought she made the right choices in life. I'd tell her I thought she made the right decision cos I had wonderful adoptive parents. I'd thank her for leaving me in a posh part of London but the cardboard box in February wasn't a brilliant idea. Also to get some family medical history, see if I was destined to get diabetes or if I can expect any more nasties popping up.


Smartie xx
Click to expand...

Smartie, I did find my birth mother and we had some nice conversations. Then she developed Alzheimers and I lost her again. I will always remember those conversations though. I discovered from a birth auntie, who I am still in contact with, that diabetes does run in my family, as does various types of arthritis and spine problems, which I also have. I seem to follow my auntie more than my mother in that we are both musical and artistic with a good sense of humour. I'm so glad I did that search and learn about things I would never have known.:)
 
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