GETTING INTO HEAVEN

[Randburg]

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was 'No!'

By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, they all answered 'No!'

I was just bursting with pride for them.

I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"

A six year old boy shouted,”Yuv goat tae be deid"

 

[Tracieo]

Love it!

 

[Doriand]

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was 'No!'

By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, they all answered 'No!'

I was just bursting with pride for them.

I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"

A six year old boy shouted,”Yuv goat tae be fukin' deid"

A Scotsman went to visit relatives in North America. As they were driving through the forest, a big animal ran in front of the car just missing them."What da faahk was dat?" "It's a moose" "Shett if dats yorr moose Ahh hett ta see yer Katt!!!!"

 

[IanD]

I switched on my radio - tuned to Classic FM, & caught the tail end of an advertisement:

" Merry Christmas - terms & conditions apply! "