OK, I will try to be constructive - suggestions for alternative foods. First of all I carb count everything (and as I am currently on a short term calorie-controlled diet I also calorie count). It's hard work but I am very motivated.
Foods I aim for now:
Meat and fish, especially oily fish. Shellfish is also good.
Oils that are low in Omega 6 fatty acids, like olive oil (best use extra virgin because it won't have been extracted using solvents), rapeseed oil (again extra virgin or cold-pressed), flax seed (linseed) oil, macadamia nut oil, and although not as low as I'd like in Omega 6 I also use peanut or groundnut oil for the deep fat fryer. Omega 6 is needed for health but we tyically consume far too much and this can negate the benefit of Omega 3 fats I have just started using coconut oil too. Butter of course.
Lots of green veg. Been discovering purple/red cabbage, curly kale, winter and spring greens, broccoli, spinach, etc. Also cauliflower, peppers, celery, carrots (though sparingly as they are quite sweet).
I have stopped eating most fruits for now, but tomatoes are good, many berries are good in moderate quantities, and avocados in particular are excellent; very low starch/sugars and high in fibre and good fats.
Other low carb foods I have discovered include milled linseed (flax seed) which can be added to dishes in place of some carby thickening agents or be used as a base for alternatives to some breads or rolls and even small cakes (google for recipes).
Nuts are very good too and although on paper are fattening there is evidence that not all the fattening value in nuts can be absorbed by the body. Just don't get addicted!
Mushrooms are very low carb and very versatile. Onions and garlic are absolutely fine too.
You can make all sorts of currys, stews and casseroles, you can have scrambled eggs, omelettes, boiled and poached eggs. Ham and many types of sausage (without too much cereal filler) are good - I have been enjoying making my own spiced hams from unsmoked gammon joints. Bacon is great too.
I have adapted to Sunday roasts without potatoes - I might allow myself one small piece of parsnip, but be careful!
How about chocolate? High coco solids (70%) dark chocolate has relatively little sugar in it so you can have moderate quantities safely.
Cream and cheeses are high on the menu, too, as are most kinds of natural yogurts (just keep an eye on the nutritional information in the container as milk sugar - lactose - can be a problem, especially in ordinary milk).
I have been adding cinnamon to some dishes and some drinks as there is some evidence that this can help improve insulin sensitivity.
I do need sweetened beverages and now aim for sucralose instead of sugar in my hot and cold drinks wherever possible.
I have probably missed something out but I hope this is of some use.