Help?

[Alex_B]

Before I talk about my problem, I don't need any lectures. I just want some advice.

Recently I've been seeing posts on Facebook of type one diabetics with good control and good numbers, and as it's coming up to the 3 year mark of my diagnosis it's been getting me down.

The past 3 years, I've never had good numbers, I've never had control, I don't take my insulin and I don't test. I don't know why, no one does. Is there something wrong with me? Like why am I like this? Am I the only one? I'll only take my insulin if I'm out of the house (so it looks like I take it all the time) and if someone makes me.

The first few weeks after my diagnosis was fine, I tested, I took my insulin and then I just gave up. I don't know if it is because everything is so hard and complicated and the nurses at the clinic didn't really help, they made me do it by myself, to take care of myself. I got diagnosed later on in life, could this be the reason??

Just need some support!

 

[becca59]

When you say you were older in life how old. I was 54. What is it about this condition that makes you rebellious.

 

[Alex_B]

When you say you were older in life how old. I was 54. What is it about this condition that makes you rebellious.

I mean I didn't have it all my life, I was 18 and I really don't know. I don't know if it's my depression or if I'm just a failure. Everyone else seems to get on with it but I just can't.

 

[Deleted Account]

It sounds like you know why you don’t have good numbers : “I don’t take my insulin and I don’t test”
The question is why you behave this way. Admitting this problem to yourself and the forum is a good start. Do you have someone you can talk to and open up to like you have with us? Or perhaps you could ask your doctor if you can talk to a counsellor to understand and come up with ways to cope?

 

[Diakat]

@Alex_B you’ve been with the forum for a fair while now and your posts are mostly related to not objecting or testing- it is clear you know in your heart that you need to this. If you carry on not injecting then the diabetes and depression win, they feed off each other and you feel worse. If you improve control by injecting your mental heath will improve as well. Take a deep breath, test and treat. No one else can do it for you.

 

[Juicyj]

@Alex_B It sounds to me like you're in denial of your condition, which is a form of diabetes distress, you certainly aren't the only person to suffer with this, so your not alone, but at least understanding why you continue to manage like this is certainly helpful in coming to terms with what your experiencing. It's worth having a read of this article: http://spectrum.diabetesjournals.org/content/27/2/143

Getting some form of support is vital too, so you do need to talk to your GP about getting counselling.

I think with diagnosis there are many emotions experienced I went through many emotions like depression and bargaining, however through all of this was the constant fear of getting complications so I always tried to do my best with my management, we all experience diagnosis differently and of course there are others who live in denial of this too so your not alone, hopefully counselling will enable you to become more accepting in realising that your day to day management needs to change.

 

[becca59]

Ah 18! An awkward age to be hit with this whammy! As a child parents get you on the road of routine, and as an older person like me you have had worse things happen and just get on with it. Believe me, I am 60 this year and there is less time left than has gone before. To increase my chances off extending it as far as possible I look after myself by carb counting, injecting and exercising. Though for me that does not mean depriving myself.
The fact that you are finding this difficult, shows either rebellion or depression. If the first, you can either chose to stop rebelling or continue and regret it when you are older, or seek help for your depression. This will ultimately help with you accepting this life long condition and moving on.
It is very hard not to lecture and just support. If you want me to support you by saying yes it’s a pain having to always think about diabetes and carb count and inject, I am not going to do it. It is not an option if you want to remain healthy and be able to enjoy what should be a long life.
Go forth and seek help.

 

[Energize]

@Alex_B

I'm a Type 2 and it took me several years to accept I needed to control my blood sugars. I am a depressive but on good medication, fortunately. However, I can still have 'down' days and feel I really don't want to be counting carbs etc, don't want to have to think about blood sugars etc, even when I know it's best for me to 'be in control'

It's great you have come to the forum and said how you feel about having Diabetes. That will have been a huge step for you. So, take encouragement in doing that. Now, I really feel you need some face-to-face support, ie some councelling to help you accept you have diabetes and so you can feel more motivated to work towards getting good control which, in turn, will help you feel better in yourself. So, please make an appt with your GP, or a different GP if you feel you can't talk to them, and tell them how you feel and that you feel you need some help.

There's life even with Diabetes, although I appreciate you maybe don't feel that all the time

Wishing you all the best

 

[Colin of Kent]

I'm sure a lot of it has to do with your age at diagnosis. I was only 10, and it's true what they say, 'kids bounce back'. Now I'm kncking on 40, and I can't remember life without diabetes, so a lot of it is second nature to me. that's not to say it's been easy - by no means has it been easy. In your case, I suspect you were just getting a taste of adulthood and the freedom it brings, and having something like this, which is a permanent impingement upon that freedom, it may just be too much to deal with. I've been depressed so I can sympathise with that aspect too. Diabetics often get depressed, because there's simply no escape, no holiday from it. But ultimately, if I have learned anything in 29 years of this condition, it's that you either control it, or it controls you, both mentally and physically.

Reach out to someone you trust, it doesn't matter who that person is, as long as they are trustworthy and reliable. Depression is only a state of mind, and that means it can be changed. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen.

 

[JAT1]

and then I just gave up.

No lectures - you're on the road to suicide. Advice - do something about it. The only thing 'wrong' with you is that you gave up. My sympathy, but . . .

 

[DCUKMod]

@Alex_B - How are you getting on with your digestive issues now? Are things settling in that regard?

Are you taking your basal insulin, but missing bolusing or not taking any at all? I'm sure you realise it's not good to miss your insulin, as that in itself is contributing to how you feel. Unfortunately, it's a vicious circle.

Why not sit down and make a structured plan for reintroducing steps to manage your diabetes, to cover basal, testing and bolus.

When are you next due at your diabetes clinic?

 

[Fairygodmother]

Hi Alex, only you can really know why you’ve been avoiding testing and only you can know why you don’t take your insulin.
I get the impression that each time you post you’re really saying help, please look after me. It’s a very human need, we all want to be cared for and there’s nothing wrong with that. What’s sometimes really hard is that in my experience people tend to be drawn towards those who are already able to care for themselves, who exhibit strength and sensitivity rather than neediness. Looking after ourselves is sometimes seen as a sign that we can also look after others.
You’ve done well to get to three years since diagnosis now so don’t despair, all is not lost.
As a wild thought, do you have a pet? Having a living being that depends on you may give you a reason to look after yourself as well as a creature that provides you with affection. If you haven’t, there are many dogs, and cats, that need to be rescued.

 

[Alex_B]

@Alex_B - How are you getting on with your digestive issues now? Are things settling in that regard?

Are you taking your basal insulin, but missing bolusing or not taking any at all? I'm sure you realise it's not good to miss your insulin, as that in itself is contributing to how you feel. Unfortunately, it's a vicious circle.

Why not sit down and make a structured plan for reintroducing steps to manage your diabetes, to cover basal, testing and bolus.

When are you next due at your diabetes clinic?

They lost my stool sample so now waiting even longer for results! I don't understand how they can lose something like that when it's boldly labelled.

 

[DCUKMod]

They lost my stool sample so now waiting even longer for results! I don't understand how they can lose something like that when it's boldly labelled.

Oh heck. That's annoying.

 

[PseudoBob77]

Bury your head in the sand, be prepared to pay the ultimate price.

Yes it's difficult, but this is a continuous education. Learn about your medication, learn about food, learn how this affects your body.

Who says its easy, i inject 6 times a day, do 6 to 9 blood tests a day, log in an electronic diary everything over the last 4 years.

Btw i've had this 30 years now since i was 12, yeah it's s friggin bi-itch at times, even when u have all the knowledge ther will still be high and low blood sugars. Its the nature of it but keep as much in range as humanly possible. Its a numbers game.

Once you've accepted your condition, get on with it, seek advise. This is something you have to do every day, like brush your teeth, cook your dinner, wash your clothes. It's a daily routine.
Go out have some booze , enjoy yourself, but take your injection and do those blood tests.

 

[porl69]

@Alex_B I have replied to other threads you have written before. I am not going to lecture you (AGAIN) BUT only one person can sort this out and thats you. You already know you need to test and to take your insulin.
Enough of me, else it will be a lecture!!