You mention being scared to check your BG. Remember that this is only information, not a judgement, and only of value if you use it to help yourself. Ultimately, the only thing that matters is that you are satisfied with your numbers, there are no diabetes police, only whatever you feel is best for yourself.
Many people on here talk about ‘cheating’, but I always wonder what they are actually cheating - you cannot cheat diabetes, it is always there. You can make a value judgement on whether eating something unsuitable will be a long-term issue for yourself in terms of damage, or re-igniting the carb cravings, or whatever, but that’s all. There is no regulated regime that we are marked or rated on, only personal responsibility for our health. And that depends upon the individual motivation and resolve and is value-neutral - no one should be judged upon it.
The healthcare crowd are not there to tut, or admonish, or anything else of that nature, only provide information and assistance. Those who go beyond that and feel emboldened to make a personal commentary are overstepping themselves and I personally would ignore their opinion, and if I was feeling particularly argy, tell them it was not helpful nor required.
And anyway, your HbA1c could be better than you expect if you get things back under control quickly. And if it isn’t what you hoped for, then at least you understand why and can fix it for next time, if you want to.