What is the point?

[mangle]

i've been type 1 for 15 years; when i was a child it didn't really bother me but when i got to about 20 i decided i just couldn't care less. i eat and drink what i want, when i want, and i know it's really damaging my body but i just don't care. i am ruled by depression, anxiety, and personality disorders and i just don't see the point in anything anymore

 

[Mike d]

I am ruled by depression, anxiety, and personality disorders and i just don't see the point in anything anymore

I don't stand in your shoes, but I get it as many others here would. Please take care and plenty will offer help

Mike

 

[Emilyprice]

Hi mangle, I still feel like that some days. I was diagnosed age 7 and all was fine until I reached 17/18 then for the next 8/9 years I didn't bother. I didn't do tests and pretended all was fine. I really get how you feel, but try to change your thinking. You can only do it for you, love yourself and believe that you deserve to feel good, have normal levels and take control of your own health and future. It's definitely a depressing thing at times especially when you have other things to deal with, but it can be done and you will be the one to benefit! High sugars and constant swinging from high to low really affect your mood, could you also go to the docs and try to get some help for the anxiety and depression? Citapralm is an anti depressant and anxiety calming drug I was prescribed a while ago, and it did really help at the time. Take care x

 

[Juicyj]

Hi Mangle,

It's a fairly typical feeling with being type 1 and you are certainly not alone in how you feel. Can you speak to your team and arrange an apt to discuss this with your consultant or nurse ?

Are you taking any insulin and are you testing at all ?

The help is there, but sadly as Emily has said running high all the time goes hand in hand with depression, getting better control will lessen the anxiety and depression so it's a win win situation. However please take care of yourself, it's really down to you, no one can walk this path for you, it's just getting the push you need to start looking after yourself better x

 

[Cathn61may]

I have had Type 1 for 48 years since 1 was 6. I also suffer with clinical depression which is not very nice. I take insulin 4 times a day and 4 anti depressents daily. You need to talk to someone, it definitely helps.

 

[badgerlover]

Please start to take more care....yes of course we have empathy and understand, imagine how **** you will feel if you can't see, have to go for kidney dialysis 3 times a week.
I struggled with depression when so many things got me so down.
There are lots of other complications nobody tells us about ...until......I am going into hospital on Wednesday for surgery on my right hand. The surgeon tells me people with D are 5 times more likely to have this problem. A painful, useless right hand is a nuisance. I also have a very painful bladder condition which attacks when my BG goes too high.....all related to D. So please, please take care. Type 1 59 year old. X

 

[pasti101]

I've had for 12 years and know exactly what your on about.i felt this way for so long however I found a way to deal with it my own way and it gradually gets better.

1. I realised that my mood is definetly reflective of my blood sugars therefore If I feel depressed or angry I always do a blood test to see if it is my blood sugar. I always feel worse if I have inflicted my bad mood on someone else when I cud get rid of it by injecting something.

2. In relation to this I do a blood test every day when I wake up so I don't start the day purposefully in a bad mood and adjust this with my breakfast insulin

3. In general always do injections after every meal and long lasting.

4. Apart from the blood test at the start of the day I only do blood tests when I feel I need to.

5. And the most important of all...stay out of hospital! It upsets and worries too many people and if u do this on purpose then ur just attention seeking and putting urself at risk( obviously some ppl can't help going into hospital )

I think the best thing I can say about this is to find a rythmn that suits you! Take it one step at a time and dont set unrealistic goals.

My next step is to do a blood test at at least 1 meal time per day...then another and so on.

 

[mentat]

Hi mangle,


Picture yourself 6 or 12 months from now, back in control of your sugars, your vitality returning. Life is starting to smile on you, success is starting to become normal. You contribute to the lives of others, you feel good about how you spend your time.

That is the point. You fight each day not for your life to continue as it is, but towards a rich and healthy life.

I know it feels impossible. 12 months ago I believed that diabetes had damaged my mind and emotions beyond repair. And by medical standards, it had. They tried to teach me to "cope". But every day I tried to be the objective, calm, sensible person I wished I could be, and every month I could see that certain things were coming easier. Then in the last few months the speed increased; I was making bigger strides. In the last few weeks, success has started to become normal.

If you would like to have someone to write to from time to time, please send me a PM.


Best of luck!

 

[vix107]

i've been type 1 for 15 years; when i was a child it didn't really bother me but when i got to about 20 i decided i just couldn't care less. i eat and drink what i want, when i want, and i know it's really damaging my body but i just don't care. i am ruled by depression, anxiety, and personality disorders and i just don't see the point in anything anymore

I have been type 1 for 26 yrs since I was 4 yrs old, I was the same as a kid, you did as you were told and life wasn't that bad, but as you get older and have to learn it all for yourself it gets harder and you feel like you don't fit in or are weird by other peoples standards. the truth is we aren't weird, diabetes just gives your life a bit of a different edge, we pay more attention to our health etc etc because if we don't we end up in some real deep ****!! I completely rebelled in my teens ended up in hospital severely ill on several occasions, one of which nearly killed me for real!! but ive passed by my teens, im still in one piece, I have 2 beautiful children who make living everyday worth all the struggles we face as diabetics.

I know it can be a really lonely place to be, but if you look for the support you will find it, even coming here is a fab start!!! you must remember as hard as it may seem that you rule your life NOT your diabetes I wish id had access to stuff like these forums as I was growing up!!

ALL of us on here want the same things, we struggle the same struggles but we all learn from each other and we understand each other because we all want the same thing, a simple do whatever the hell we want when we want life!!! Because of this we are all here supporting each other so YOU ARE NEVER ALONE

I agree with the idea perhaps you should try speaking to your doc or specialist, I have a bit of a spiral now and then, and sometimes it takes a looonngggg cuppa with a good friend who listens and at the very least tries to understand all I cope with, other times I could do with a little more than that, everyone is different and you should never feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help, we all need a hand now and then!!

 

[Gaz-M]

I was like you unfortunatley and 43 years in I so wish I was not.

When young you think you are invinsible and nothing can do you harm, but that is not the case and you will grow older doing damage then think why did I do that, just hang in there ok things will get better and be safe

 

[mangle]

thank you so much everyone. i'm actually overwhelmed, i've never had this much support from anyone before.

i'm 22 going on 23 now, and i'm on novorapid after every meal and levemir before i go to bed. i am still taking my injections but i take less than i'm supposed to because the insulin really puts weight on me

i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder earlier in the year and am currently receiving therapy and am on 2 fluoxetine daily. the medication does help a bit but most days i just feel awful. me and my boyfriend moved into a house together at the start of the year and without my mum always there telling me to eat properly and take my injections i've just slipped. i know my eyes are deteriorating and i have foot problems and i'm in and out of hospital most of the time. i have a diabetic review coming up in the hospital so i will again mention all of this to them.

again, thank you so much everyone you don't understand how much it means to me

 

[Gaz-M]

I take it you have felt alone yeah?

Felt like its only you? Why me?

This is the best place I have found to discuss "our" condition, I,m sure you will make friends and start feeling better with yourself

just read your new post, please just try be right and look after yourself as much as possible, hard I know but do try yeah

 

[badgerlover]

thank you so much everyone. i'm actually overwhelmed, i've never had this much support from anyone before.

i'm 22 going on 23 now, and i'm on novorapid after every meal and levemir before i go to bed. i am still taking my injections but i take less than i'm supposed to because the insulin really puts weight on me

i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder earlier in the year and am currently receiving therapy and am on 2 fluoxetine daily. the medication does help a bit but most days i just feel awful. me and my boyfriend moved into a house together at the start of the year and without my mum always there telling me to eat properly and take my injections i've just slipped. i know my eyes are deteriorating and i have foot problems and i'm in and out of hospital most of the time. i have a diabetic review coming up in the hospital so i will again mention all of this to them.

again, thank you so much everyone you don't understand how much it means to me

Just take care.....there are so many of us you will never be alone...xxxx

 

[jackvdbuk]

is the bf able to assist and support? remind you to check when you cba? (this would be good for me too ha!)

how long have you been on the anti depressants? if they arnt boosting your mood maybe worth speaking to doctor for another medication/dose increase?


diabetes is **** tough and a PITA but its never an instant fix to get them under control but maybe see if the dn can provide support over the phone when you are struggling as to what to do.

good luck

 

[mentat]

i'm 22 going on 23 now, and i'm on novorapid after every meal and levemir before i go to bed. i am still taking my injections but i take less than i'm supposed to because the insulin really puts weight on me

I completely understand why you would do this. But remember, beauty is only skin deep!! Your sugars play havoc with your mood, which stop you being the person you want to be. They send you to hospital, which eats up lots of your precious time. Once you get control of your mind and soul, it will be much easier for you to control your weight. Don't worry about your weight right now.

i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder earlier in the year

mangle, I had depression, anxiety, and BPD-like symptoms for the last few years, and I'm mostly free of it now. It also happened at the same time I moved out from my parents with my girlfriend (now fiancee). Once again feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to who perhaps gets it.

 

[Emilyprice]

^^ I agree.. I did this for YEARS for the same weight reason, I think looking back I needed serious help with it psychologically I felt like I was injecting fat into me. I still have that at the back of my mind, but 2 years ago I lost my eyesight for a good 6 weeks and I'm remember thinking how stupid I had been to do it and how I wish I'd been a bit porky for those yearsI realised that insulin was allowing me to live (fat, thin whatever!) be honest with your doctors and say you need some support for that too. Weight wise, you can still have less insulin by eating low carb for say 2 meals of the day and if you match it right you'll feel fantastic. It's amazing how you get used to feeling like **** and how much more energy you get when you start to improve. Chin up

 

[ButtterflyLady]

thank you so much everyone. i'm actually overwhelmed, i've never had this much support from anyone before.

i'm 22 going on 23 now, and i'm on novorapid after every meal and levemir before i go to bed. i am still taking my injections but i take less than i'm supposed to because the insulin really puts weight on me

i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder earlier in the year and am currently receiving therapy and am on 2 fluoxetine daily. the medication does help a bit but most days i just feel awful. me and my boyfriend moved into a house together at the start of the year and without my mum always there telling me to eat properly and take my injections i've just slipped. i know my eyes are deteriorating and i have foot problems and i'm in and out of hospital most of the time. i have a diabetic review coming up in the hospital so i will again mention all of this to them.

again, thank you so much everyone you don't understand how much it means to me

Hi there mangle. I'm glad you are finding the support here helpful.

Meds like fluoxetine can help with depression and anxiety but as you have probably been told, BPD can be hard to treat. There are certain kinds of talk therapy that can help, such as dialectical behavioural therapy. I have two online friends with BPD who are having this kind of therapy, both one on one and in a group, and it seems to be helping them a lot.

From what I have read about T1 on this forum, getting better BG control can help with mood issues, and there are ways to eat and inject that minimise weight gain, as Emilyprice says above. I also wonder if you have heard of diabulimia, which might be relevant (or not, in which case please disregard my mentioning it). To simplify, diabulimia is when a T1 diabetic is so concerned about weight management that they don't use insulin some of the time. There is a good website about it if you would like to know more:
http://www.dwed.org.uk/

 

[Daibell]

thank you so much everyone. i'm actually overwhelmed, i've never had this much support from anyone before.

i'm 22 going on 23 now, and i'm on novorapid after every meal and levemir before i go to bed. i am still taking my injections but i take less than i'm supposed to because the insulin really puts weight on me

i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder earlier in the year and am currently receiving therapy and am on 2 fluoxetine daily. the medication does help a bit but most days i just feel awful. me and my boyfriend moved into a house together at the start of the year and without my mum always there telling me to eat properly and take my injections i've just slipped. i know my eyes are deteriorating and i have foot problems and i'm in and out of hospital most of the time. i have a diabetic review coming up in the hospital so i will again mention all of this to them.

again, thank you so much everyone you don't understand how much it means to me

Hi. You may be aware that it's not insulin that causes weight gain but the amount of carbs you eat. If there is any way you can get those carbs down, matching the insulin, you should be able to avoid weight gain and high blood sugar. You can still eat well without too many carbs e.g. nice fry-ups focussing on meats rather than carbs and so on. I hope the therapy works out for you.

 

[VFRMan]

Just thinking about you, I can't add more than what has been said and sending you lots of love...

 

[danni2001]

When we are teenagers are blood sugars are all over the place mine is now and I'm 14 but I've had type 1 since I was 3 years old and I even hate it but it's better than any other things out there you will be ok if u check you blood sugar 5 times a day and do your insulin then you will be fine I know it's hard to take all this in every one has and but there is worse things out there my diabetes is hard to control sometimes but if u need someone to talk to or need any advice u can talk to me