Type 1 40 years T1, lost and mad

[ThaxT1D]

My wife moved out,
she no longer loves me. It’s really bad. Nobody can tolerate me. lonely and lost. Angry that god has abandoned me or doesn’t exist. It’s my fault and i hate my t1 and i hate myself. Wrecked my life, career and happiness.

 

[Marie 2]

I am so sorry to hear that. I still am with my husband so I can't know what that's like. But I have had some medical issues and your outlook will define how you feel. I can't do some of the things I used to, but I look at the things I can still do. The glass half empty or half full type thing. Don't look for someone else to make you happy, you need to make yourself happy. Get some help and talk to someone, depression is way to common with diabetes. High blood sugars will make you moodier and depressed easier.
I hope it gets better for you.

 

[Resurgam]

I can't think of anything that doesn't sound trite, but people do change over time, and people can change over time.
I have seen suggestions and questions put to type ones such as are you sure your basal level is correct, are you carb counting, do your ratios change during the day, have you taken the fat and protein content of meals into consideration.
I do get the impression that when you are working towards good control that the effort reduces, whilst attempting to ignore the problem only inflates it.
As it is mid afternoon, (at least it is here) and you are obviously unhappy I suggest that you think about things to do with your diabetes - for me that is simply a matter of what will I eat later - do I need to find things from the freezer, that sort of thing. Maybe if all that is fine you can look at your blood glucose levels, and see if your levels have been high and has that played a part.
If you look after yourself that is bound to be the best start you can make.
Is there anyone you can contact to talk to?
If it gets late and you are feeling even worse there is always the Samaritans.
You could always try writing yourself a letter - tell yourself what you should have done, or what you might do - putting thoughts into words can help.

 

[Fairygodmother]

It’s a horrible thing to have happened and I’m not at all surprised that you feel this way right now.
The end of a relationship will often bring a lot of unpleasantness with it and people say things that are incredibly harsh. If this has happened to you then it’s good to tell yourself that it’s the situation, not the essence of you, that has led to everything becoming drenched in despair.
If you can get through this stage then you’ll probably find that everything will get better. A number of my friends were equally devastated when their marriages ended but are now happy and have built a good new life.
I also find myself asking if there are some people who can help you to better cope with T1?
I think it’d be rare to find a T1 who doesn’t sometimes fervently wish to be without it, so you’re not alone in cursing it. Have you a medical team, etc, who you could contact?
As a PS, I also have a number of friends my age or older (I’m 70) who say they’re happier now than when they were married and working. Keep posting here, we’re here to talk with and send you virtual hugs.
Hugs!

 

[Jaylee]

My wife moved out,
she no longer loves me. It’s really bad. Nobody can tolerate me. lonely and lost. Angry that god has abandoned me or doesn’t exist. It’s my fault and i hate my t1 and i hate myself. Wrecked my life, career and happiness.

Hi,

I'm not realy here to debate the existence of a god, either way.

However, I do feel we kind of shape our own "reality" when dealing with forces beyond our control.
Emotion is a powerful nurture in any relationship. Negativity can equally be destructive in it's nature.

When the Angels have flown, "Demons" have a habit of dragging the victim to a quiet place & really beating down..

With the kindest regards in the world, you may need to open up a little more?

Best wishes. & good luck.

 

[Fairygodmother]

Hi @ThaxT1D, how are you today? We’re still here if you want to talk with us.
Have you been able to get any sleep? Have you contacted your medical team yet, not just about the T1D but also to help you get through this? Have you made any connections with old friends - there may be someone you know who you can talk with.
This site is a good place to talk, and we’ll listen.
If your blood sugars are swooping around too, and you’re finding it hard at the moment to eat, let alone tot up the carbs, then please try - you may feel just a tiny bit better if your blood sugars are in the more or less ok range.

 

[PoongothaiN]

I am so sorry to hear that. I still am with my husband so I can't know what that's like. But I have had some medical issues and your outlook will define how you feel. I can't do some of the things I used to, but I look at the things I can still do. The glass half empty or half full type thing. Don't look for someone else to make you happy, you need to make yourself happy. Get some help and talk to someone, depression is way to common with diabetes. High blood sugars will make you moodier and depressed easier.
I hope it gets better for you.

Hi, I hope this will help you to manage the depression
Management of depression:
Management of depression and diabetes should be a collaborative effort which involves the following aspects:
Professional help.
A combination of cognitive behavior therapy and medication has been found to be effective in combating depression.
Social support from family, friends and support groups help in lessening feelings of isolation.
Proper adherence to the diabetes regimen in the form of healthy diet, regular medication and physical exercise.
Regular assessments by the concerned physician as well as mental health professionals have the twin benefits of alleviating feelings of depression as well as controlling sugars.

Apart from all these, involving oneself in pleasurable activities and following a structured lifestyle will be greatly beneficial for those who are going through ‘low’ phases. However, despite one’s best efforts, sometimes it’s easy to be weighed down by lethargy and low energy levels due to diabetes and depression. So do set realistic goals for yourself, take small steps, stay motivated, and do not give up! As Margaret Thatcher put it, “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”

 

[PoongothaiN]

My wife moved out,
she no longer loves me. It’s really bad. Nobody can tolerate me. lonely and lost. Angry that god has abandoned me or doesn’t exist. It’s my fault and i hate my t1 and i hate myself. Wrecked my life, career and happiness.

Hi, I am sorry to hear this. I had shared how to Manage Depression while having diabetes,

Management of depression:
Management of depression and diabetes should be a collaborative effort which involves the following aspects:
Professional help.
A combination of cognitive behavior therapy and medication has been found to be effective in combating depression.
Social support from family, friends and support groups help in lessening feelings of isolation.
Proper adherence to the diabetes regimen in the form of healthy diet, regular medication and physical exercise.
Regular assessments by the concerned physician as well as mental health professionals have the twin benefits of alleviating feelings of depression as well as controlling sugars.

Apart from all these, involving oneself in pleasurable activities and following a structured lifestyle will be greatly beneficial for those who are going through ‘low’ phases. However, despite one’s best efforts, sometimes it’s easy to be weighed down by lethargy and low energy levels due to diabetes and depression. So do set realistic goals for yourself, take small steps, stay motivated, and do not give up! As Margaret Thatcher put it, “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”

I hope this will help you.

 

[Marie 2]

@PoongothaiN lol......hopefully you were posting it for the OP. I did not say I was depressed and I am definitely not! I am good at looking at the glass as half full versus half empty!