A lawyer and a priest go to heaven

[Pilgrim22]

A lawyer and a priest die and go to heaven...
When arriving at the Pearly Gates, they're let in by St. Peter. The saint leads them to their heavenly quarters. The priest receives a tiny hut, a cot, a sink, and a toilet. The lawyer receives a stately mansion, with land and cars and riches. The priest is, of course, confused by this. He goes to St. Peter and says "I devote my life to the Lord and receive this hut and the lawyer gets an entire estate! While I am grateful, I must ask why our houses are so different?" St. Peter replies," Well, we get priests in here every day, but we want to treat the lawyer special, he's our first one!"



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[Superchip]

Bloke goes to enter a nightclub.

"You can't come in." says the doorman.

"Why?" says the bloke.

"No tie" was the answer.

Dejected he goes back to his car and has a brainwave!

Delving in the boot he hauls out a set of jump leads, puts them around his neck and fashions them into a makeshift tie.

On return he presents himself and asks for admittance again.

"Well OK," says the doorman " but I warn you, Don't start anything."

 

[Yorksman]

A little footnote from the diary of Sir Humphrey Appleby:

" The Church of England is primarily a social organisation with the Queen at its head. God apparantly, is an optional extra".

 

[kocall]

little boy and little girl in the bath
boy says to girl im gonna duck you
girl replys ****** off you cant even talk right

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[Thundercat]

What do you have if you've got 2 green balls in your hand?


Kermit's complete attention

So rude!!!! Always makes me laugh though!

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[MCMLXXIII]

What do you have if you've got 2 green balls in your hand?


Kermit's complete attention

So rude!!!! Always makes me laugh though!

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That's going straight to twitter!