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Am I doing the wrong thing by my kids?

Discussion in 'Ask A Question' started by Cocosilk, Feb 22, 2020.

  1. Cocosilk

    Cocosilk Gestational · Well-Known Member

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    Since I've learned about low carb eating and have been eating that way myself to try to ward off T2 after having had gestational diabetes, my husband and I decided we should probably limit grain foods for our small children since we know where it leads as far as insulin resistance goes, but also because my boy has eczema head to foot at the moment and we suspect grain foods cause it to flare up among other things, although we currently have no diagnosis of it's actual triggers.

    Anyway, long story short, our 3 yo and 5 yo do get carbs, more often sweet and white potato, fruits (unrestricted amounts but only at certain times of day), and still occasional bread (like once a fortnight) and porridge again recently (although my daughter did whinge about "vomit coming back up in her throat" and for me oats turned out to me a major heartburn trigger so I'm not sure about how often to allow porridge (even though she loves it).

    Anyway, my question is, if the kids are not eating as many carbs as a typical high carb diet, but then they are "exposed" to a high amount of carbs as on a rare occasion, as happened today when we went visiting two sets of friends in another town and they all brought out the snacks and sweets, and despite me telling the kids only to have one of whatever the offending foods were and to instead eat the almond meal based zucchini fritters (with bacon and cheese) which I had made especially for their lunch, they ran off with the host's kids into other rooms and were sneaking oat bars and biscuits and then at the second lot of guests, who are Serbs like my husband, it's rude not to take food when offered - so my husband was embarrassed when I tried to stop the kids from eating two small chocolate bars and pretzels and cheese pastries (he thinks Australians are nuts because we are willing to insult our hosts with our food refusal if we don't want the kids to eat a chocolate bar).

    So what happened was by the end of it, the kids passed out in the car complaining of tummy aches, and then when they got home they were complaining they felt dizzy and sick (obviously a sugar thing even though neither of them is diabetic).

    Is it worse for them to be eating lower - moderate carb most of the time but then endure a potential higher blood sugar spike if they binge at a party and I don't manage to prevent it? Or is just eating a higher amount of carbs all the time going to do more damage in the long term? Again, neither of them is diabetic, but it was still clear what they ate today didn't make them feel well at all I hope that limiting their carbs is not lowering their tolerance to them in a way that might be just as bad as eating a higher amount of carbs anyway, if that makes sense.

    I'm hoping, after telling at least my 5 yo that it was probably all the carbs that she ate that gave her a tummy ache and made her dizzy that next time she should really only eat one chocolate bar and not so many different sweet things. Maybe she will self regulate at some point. I hope anyway.
     
  2. Indy51

    Indy51 Type 2 · Expert

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    I think you answered the question with your last paragraph. They will learn themselves by overdoing and feeling like garbage as a result. A good lesson in cause/effect for a child to learn, imho.
     
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  3. aealexandrou

    aealexandrou Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Getting your children to have a healthy diet and differentiate between good and bad food now will pay dividends in the long term for them and for you. They will be healthier in the long run and you will not beat yourself up for being a bad mum and feeding them junk when they get older. If your lucky your relatives and friends will get the message and perhaps they will also help their children grow up healthy without all the metabolic issues we are all witnessing. If your children are already gluten intolerant why force them to it that stuff?
     
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  4. Jim Lahey

    Jim Lahey I reversed my Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    No.
     
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  5. Jabberwocky

    Jabberwocky · BANNED

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    I restrict my child’s diet on terms of carbs. She still has them but far less than before. She complains that some sugary products are too sweet now.
     
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  6. Tophat1900

    Tophat1900 Type 3c · Well-Known Member

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    I think you're doing the right thing, it's so hard being a parent. We are surrounded by sugar and garbage everywhere you look and it's marketed at kids. And saying no to a kid who wants what is basically rubbish is difficult. More and more younger and younger people are being diagnosed with type2 these days, it's just horrendous really and tragic imo.
     
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    #6 Tophat1900, Feb 23, 2020 at 5:14 AM
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2020
  7. Brunneria

    Brunneria Other · Moderator
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    It all depends how you present things to your kids.

    telling them ‘no!’ in a party atmosphere with kids around them stuffing treats just makes you a mean party pooper in front of everyone - and look, they already learned to sneak food and hide it from you.

    I was brought up in a household where food and sweet things were rigidly controlled (both parents had adopted wartime rationing as an ongoing life choice). All it achieved was a sense of massive deprivation and resentment in both myself and my sister.

    Ultimately ANY food choices your children learn to apply must be their own choice. I would strongly urge you to think long and hard about the way you encourage them to make good choices.

    Asking kids that age to make reasoned adult healthy choices in the face of party atmosphere and peer pressure is not going to happen.

    Also, if they are also witnessing discord between you and your husband over this, then they will inevitably align themselves with the permissive, encouraging parent, not the restrictive denying parent. That is just human nature.
     
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  8. Cocosilk

    Cocosilk Gestational · Well-Known Member

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    You make very good points here. I too am worried that because I try to restrict sweets at home most of the time, that they will go nuts any chance they get outside of the home, and that's exactly what happened the other day.

    I talked to my 5yo daughter about what happened and how the tummy ache and the dizziness was most likely from the sweets and having overdone it. I also said, 'You know, we could go to the supermarket and stand in the sweets aisle and you could just eat yourself sick, but at some point you'll have to control yourself and decide not to eat that stuff because we've talked about why it not good for us." And she said "Oh yeah, I won't do it next time."

    It's not like they don't ever get treats though, just not near as many some.
     
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  9. Jabberwocky

    Jabberwocky · BANNED

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    Just got back from a kids party. It was slush puppy’s, hotdogs and chips all round. That’s sugar, with sugar and sugar.
     
  10. HSSS

    HSSS Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I can’t like this! And there isn’t a sad, horrified, shocked, disappointed emoji available
     
  11. HSSS

    HSSS Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Perhaps theirs just aren’t sugar based - rather than less frequent or nonexistent!

    edit : as ever for typos!
     
  12. Resurgam

    Resurgam Type 2 (in remission!) · Expert

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    I was eating low carb during the bringing up children phase - they were never exactly restricted, just diverted from the higher carb foods. Both offspring are tall and slender, intelligent and talented (but who's children are not) - but I think that it was a good thing. My son is almost a foot taller than me, my daughter is taller than her father - I think that shows good nutrition, oh - and my son only has to grin mischievously at his wife for there to be another child on the way - the next one will be their fifth.
     
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  13. Cocosilk

    Cocosilk Gestational · Well-Known Member

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    Surely not all sugar based but carb-based very often. Fortunately, they also consider pork crackle a treat and that features often on our menu.
     
  14. Tophat1900

    Tophat1900 Type 3c · Well-Known Member

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    Same thing, it is all sugar, bread, slush puppies, simple sugars and starch sugar = sugar once ingested.
     
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  15. Jim Lahey

    Jim Lahey I reversed my Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Not long ago I began aiming to avoid using the word sugar, and instead try to be specific. Glucose, fructose, sucrose (both) etc. I believe it makes things less muddy. It's also easier to explain to people that the components of "natural sugar!!1" in their hallowed fruit are molecularly identical to those found in sucrose (table sugar) and do just a much damage in excess.
     
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  16. Tophat1900

    Tophat1900 Type 3c · Well-Known Member

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    Now I'm confused :D
     
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  17. Cocosilk

    Cocosilk Gestational · Well-Known Member

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    I know. And I have been telling my kids that too. My 5 yo daughter told me off for having a bite of white potato recently "That's not good for your blood sugar, Mummy!" she said.

    When we walk through the supermarket aisles, especially the breakfast cereal aisles, you can hear me telling them: "None of this is any good for you. I ate too much of it and now I'm sick." They'll have a hard time socialising with "normal" kids by the time they are at school.
     
  18. KK123

    KK123 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    So what about short people?
     
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  19. KK123

    KK123 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I agree. At a recent diabetes course they said they hate the term 'sugar or sugar levels' because people assume that refers to the white stuff and nothing else. They insisted we refer to it as glucose.
     
  20. KK123

    KK123 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi cocosilk, it's hard with kids of that age isn't it! I became quite obsessed with what my children ate when they were that age but in the end I thought, instead of trying to have countless age appropriate conversations with them, I just restricted what 'junk' they ate at home without them particularly noticing, and when they were out with others...well...what can you do! I think the more I went on about it the more they perceived that 'sweets' were the holy grail and must therefore be grabbed at every opportunity. I think if MOST of the time they have access to the good stuff then they will turn out fine. It's when they get to adulthood that the problems around food really start! x
     
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