WeeWillie
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 2,556
- Location
- UK
- Type of diabetes
- Treatment type
- Insulin
- Dislikes
- Dictators who positively go out of their way to force misery, tears and fears, upon their countryman's lives.
Politicians who, in dealing with dictators, have a wishbone where a backbone should be.
Winners of The Washington Post's Mensa Invitation to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winning definitions...
1.
Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2
Ignoranus :
A person who's both stupid and an a****le.
3.
Intaxicaton :
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it
was your money to start with.
4.
Reintarnation :
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5.
Bozone ( n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down
in the near future.
6.
Giraffiti :
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
7.
Sarchasm :
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.
8.
Inoculatte :
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9.
Osteopornosis :
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
10.
Karmageddon :
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
11.
Decafalon (n.):
The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things
that are good for you.
12.
Glibido :
All talk and no action.
13.
Dopeler Effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
14.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
15.
Beelzebug (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the
morning and cannot be cast out.
16.
Caterpallor ( n.):
The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
_________________________________________
The Washington Post also published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings
for common words.
And the winners are:
1.
Coffee, n.
The person upon whom one coughs.
2.
Flabbergasted, adj.
Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3.
Abdicate, v.
To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4.
Esplanade, v.
To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.
Willy-nilly, adj.
Impotent.
6.
Negligent, adj.
Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing
only a nightgown.
7.
Lymph, v.
To walk with a lisp.
8.
Gargoyle, n.
Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9.
Flatulence, n.
Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over
by a steamroller.
10.
Balderdash, n.
A rapidly receding hairline.
11.
Testicle, n.
A humorous question on an exam.
12.
Rectitude, n.
The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13.
Pokemon, n.
A Rastafarian proctologist.
14.
Oyster, n.
A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15.
Frisbeetarianism, n.
The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and
gets stuck there.
16.
Circumvent, n.
An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winning definitions...
1.
Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2
Ignoranus :
A person who's both stupid and an a****le.
3.
Intaxicaton :
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it
was your money to start with.
4.
Reintarnation :
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5.
Bozone ( n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down
in the near future.
6.
Giraffiti :
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
7.
Sarchasm :
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.
8.
Inoculatte :
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9.
Osteopornosis :
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
10.
Karmageddon :
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
11.
Decafalon (n.):
The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things
that are good for you.
12.
Glibido :
All talk and no action.
13.
Dopeler Effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
14.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
15.
Beelzebug (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the
morning and cannot be cast out.
16.
Caterpallor ( n.):
The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
_________________________________________
The Washington Post also published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings
for common words.
And the winners are:
1.
Coffee, n.
The person upon whom one coughs.
2.
Flabbergasted, adj.
Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3.
Abdicate, v.
To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4.
Esplanade, v.
To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.
Willy-nilly, adj.
Impotent.
6.
Negligent, adj.
Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing
only a nightgown.
7.
Lymph, v.
To walk with a lisp.
8.
Gargoyle, n.
Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9.
Flatulence, n.
Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over
by a steamroller.
10.
Balderdash, n.
A rapidly receding hairline.
11.
Testicle, n.
A humorous question on an exam.
12.
Rectitude, n.
The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13.
Pokemon, n.
A Rastafarian proctologist.
14.
Oyster, n.
A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15.
Frisbeetarianism, n.
The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and
gets stuck there.
16.
Circumvent, n.
An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
