I'm going to give you my version of social anxiety from a RH er!
I have always been an outward social person because of my lifestyle, interest in sport and music, always in big crowds and I was in charge of my workforce in a factory. I had to be a social person, I trained other people in a lot of aspects of teamwork.
I have a large family!
So, at the time of retirement, I was already seeing my moods change as I became less healthy, my needs to be social went really inward and the worse I got health wise, the more I wanted to retreat into my own world. My anxiety started to go through the roof, but I still had to go and work, but I wasn't me, I was reticent about approaching people or even avoided talking. My memory was not as it should be, and I felt embarrassed by my weight and forgetting things, names or jobs or tasks that I should have done.
I was always relieved to get back to my comfort zone in my house.
I stopped going to away games, I stopped coaching football.
I was becoming recluse.
For a few years, I wasn't me, I missed family commitments. I just hid away, even going to the local shop became a chore. The wife becoming disabled and the battle to get anything done or help didn't help my mood swings.
I was anxious, second guessing, trying to find answers to why I felt awful and tired, sleeplessness, irritability and the anxiety getting worse, to a point where I would hate anyone including the wife asking me anything, I just couldn't be *****
I hated everything and everyone, I was angry, raging at times, always worrying about everything and everyone, it was my own personal hell!
My hypo hell!
These symptoms of my Reactive Hypoglycaemia, were fuelled by bad dietary advice and my hyperinsulinaemia. I was spiking and then going hypo day in day out,!
After I got a true diagnosis of what was happening to me.
I stopped the rollercoaster!
My blood glucose levels became normal.
The spikes and hypos stopped.
My health got better.
The anxiety began to abate.
The other symptoms decreased, I started to become me again!
It was the carbs, I was carb intolerant!
It was so called healthy foods that was causing the hell I was in!
As my health issues improved so did my anxiety.
I became more social and even though my anxiety didn't go completely, I was able to start going out and talking to people without regret or asking myself why!
I was two years ago just another body, who was socially awkward and preferred to work alone. Now I am a integral part of the staff, that is socially interactive, having to work under pressure and talk and make decisions about different things different days, important decisions. I am back! No second guessing, knowing what I have to do, organised, sociable!
And, I actually smile now and again and it's not wind!
I would never want to go back into my own private hypo hell.
But I still like my own company for a few hours a day, especially after a hectic day!