Yes I really do need to focus on my health ... especially as I have a daughter who has social anxiety problems and cannot go out at all. I have to help her to 'start her life' but mine needs addressing before I am fully able to do that xx
Oh my. How old is she? It's been the bane of my life. These are the things that helped me, just in case they may be of use to her. I wish I'd done these things when I was younger, but I'm 40 now and still fighting the good fight. It's nice not to be 100% locked in my flat anymore, but I spent a few decades hiding from the world before this... I still don't like going out, but I will if I have to.
I take my camera's wherever I go. When I reduce the world to the size of my viewfinder, it's more managable. And people tend to leave photographers alone. So it's not just a beloved hobby, it's my crutch as well.
Recently I've started walking to the health centre by myself. I take a route where I'll meet very few people, and I take ample time to get there, so I can take pictures on the way if I feel a need to. I
have to keep my appointments with the doc, the dentist and the apothecary in the building, so there's no getting out from under it. I used to have people to get me there, but their jobs don't allow for it anymore, and once I got slightly used to the treck, I even went double the distance to the local hospital. I pick the route that will incluse as few people as possible, so going through a 'burb rather than through the high street. It's 3 minutes extra, but less stressful. Music on a headset'll help too, and sometimes I wear a baseball cap so I can pretend I didn't see people coming the other way.
Afterwards I am physically and emotionally exchausted, but I did do it. And mind you, I've been unable to get a job due to this, and dropped out of school at one point (continued my studies at home, though what use is a journalist who is too afraid of people to interview them in person or on the phone, or go to newsworthy locations/events?) so any small step is a huge one, really. After going to the health centre a few times I've also started to go to a super market to get myself some salad for lunch afterwards. Just keep expanding. So small steps, and taking time to recuperate from them. And let her know
you know that even small victories are really HUGE for her. Go with her when you can, and sometime later she can try it on her own? Is walking a neighbour's dog an idea, if you don't have one? It's something to focus on when out.
If she's interested in theatre or music, she might enjoy going to a small local theatre when she can get front-row seats. (Seats are important, as with standing room only there's zero personal, desigated space). I'm always looking at the performer's nose hairs, I'm that close to the stage. Even in sold-out venues, I'm okay as long as I don't turn around and look at the crowd behind me. The moment tickets go on sale I am online getting them so I can pick my preferred seats. If they're not available, I'm not going. (Or I'll find another venue where I can get the preferred seats. Sometimes that means an hour's drive, but some venues and artists are really worth it.).
I go to Comic Cons and Fantasy Festivals, amusement parks and zoo's. Usually there's a few tens of thousands of people there. But most of them don't show up until 11 or 12! (And in zoo's I never walk the direction that is advised, I start the other way around, at the end where it's quiet, working my way back.) Whenever something's happening, I'm there right when the doors open, or a few minutes after, so I don't have to face the line. That way I can still go to the things that interest me, and just leave when it gets too busy!
And... I use CBD oil sometimes, when I'm panicky or have had more panic attacks than usual. It's a derivative of the cannabis plant, but it's NOT a drug and there are no hallucinogenics in there. That's why Holland & Barret sells it as a supplement. I found Jacob Hooy to be an excellent brand. Taste takes some getting used to, but it broke my insomnia cycle and worked wonders for my panic attacks.
I'm just slowly getting started with poking my nose out the door. Like I said, I'm 40 and it basically dictated the run of my life. The sooner she takes steps, the easier it'll make things for her in the long run. And there's groups online with introverts... Oh, she might enjoy Jenny Lawson's books...! Imagine an author who will hide behind the lectern at her own bookpresentation, because there's too many people in the audience. And at a booksigning one of the ladies who attended had a panicattack, and the others there knew how she felt, so they made her a little fort out of coats until it passed. Just a few weeks ago Jenny went to Japan and had a blast, while she expected to be hiding in her hotel the whole time. And I know I really came out of my shell when i lived in Canada for a while. Where I went by myself, because I had a fiancé there. Once back home in the Netherlands (He passed away a few months before we were going to wed), I went right back into my shell, and didn't come out until a couple of decades later. You just never know what it is that'll "fix" or help us. There's a lot of people like us out there. We find things that work for us, within our limitations and our personal boundries.
Hugs to you both,
Jo
